Dating Thread 208 - sausage fest summer

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Dirtyduck, sadly I’ve been the recipient of this a few times. He’s just not feeling it. Effort reflects interest …

@Misty9 @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards @Myfabby - I feel bad now for doubting him because he's just sent me a really long message .

I'm going to keep chatting to him, but keeping my guard up for now.

[quote Dirtyduck]**@Misty9* @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* @Myfabby - I feel bad now for doubting him because he's just sent me a really long message .

I'm going to keep chatting to him, but keeping my guard up for now.[/quote]
@Dirtyduck 👍🏻❤️

I have ignored Mr Penpal from his yesterday morning message. I just don't think there is anything to say.

@ActonSquirrel

I have ignored Mr Penpal from his yesterday morning message. I just don't think there is anything to say.

Sometimes silence is the best option. If you're feeling ready to move on you might be able to just ignore and not search for closure. I ended up ignoring a couple of my toxic irons then after a few weeks' silence I quietly blocked and deleted their numbers without a closure message.

A iron I unmatched from without messaging, just on the basis of a couple of strange interactions before we were due to meet, has come up as a friend of a friend on Facebook.
I've seen that his photos were TEN YEARS OLD. Really, wtaf?
Goes to show that gut feeling can be the best filter sometimes.

After some of the recent discussion about comms and projection, I read back through my convos with MrBeard on WhatsApp and on bumble. It's been a great mix of getting to know you (over 3 months), flirting, swapping news, honesty and just great adult interaction.

Cross fingers this week will be a good first date swiftly followed by a second.

The way I see it is what reaction am I hoping for here?!

Saying something will make him realise and change his ways? Probably not.

I'm just taking a break from him.

That's true for all of us with inconsistent guys. Anything we say... what reaction will it get.

Very apt for this thread

@ActonSquirrel Even if he does change his ways he won't be able to keep it up because its not him.

Have you ordered the book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl?
I think it will really help you understand why you keep giving him chances and were happy to just keep chatting to him when he delivered nothing (I know he had mental health and addiction issues)

@SortingItOut

Very apt for this thread

I love that account ♥️

@SortingItOut

Very apt for this thread

@SortingItOut love it! ❤️

[quote SortingItOut]@ActonSquirrel Even if he does change his ways he won't be able to keep it up because its not him.

Have you ordered the book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl?
I think it will really help you understand why you keep giving him chances and were happy to just keep chatting to him when he delivered nothing (I know he had mental health and addiction issues)[/quote]
I read it ages ago. Still have it on kindle

@ActonSquirrel

That's true for all of us with inconsistent guys. Anything we say... what reaction will it get.

Well I said (most of) what I wanted to say to Mr TG when I closed things off and he didn’t respond at all. Which is a response in itself, and while it has added to the hurt, it has also made me sure I made the right decision-most of the time

Anyway I had a potential date zero today which won’t be happening now due to timing issues - I really wanted to meet sooner rather than later though so as not to build up the false intimacy that happens with messaging but now it looks like Friday at the earliest - oh well 🤷‍♀️ He’s interesting though, weirdly quite happy to talk on the phone or chat over message - makes a nice change after my last 2 irons. I’ll name him if it happens and I like him.

Hi everyone,

So I've been chatting to a couple of people on Tinder. One of them (I'll call him Mr. Driver) has asked me out on a date.

We've only been chatting for a couple of days or so, and it's mainly been a 'hello, how're you?' Kind of thing. (He's the one who asked what my 'plans' were for a relationship)

I'm thinking that I want to chat to him a bit more before deciding weather to commit to a date.

Would saying that be unreasonable? ❤️

@Dirtyduck hmm, I agree with keeping your guard up/options open for now.

@ActonSquirrel silence sounds like the best policy for now, if only to give you a break from waiting for messages.

@BelladiMamma has it been three months of messaging?! Content sounds good though and I'm keeping everything crossed for your first date.

This is probably outing but just back from a long day at hospital with dd and am done in. She's going to be fine but it was worrying and stressful, especially as I didn't eat until 4pm all day! So I have very little energy to give two figs about Mr Blue Eyes who has just tried to video call me... Couldn't answer of course as dd is here. Might talk to him later or might just watch love Island..!

... He's made it clear he wants something serious, and even though that's what I want too, I told him that I'm just happy chatting to people for the moment and seeing how things go.

I'm finding when I tell guys that I want something serious, they start saying all sorts, so I thought that I wouldn't this time.

Also, I get panicky when I overthink about dating someone and start obsessing, so I'm trying to take things slowly ❤️

[quote Misty9]@Dirtyduck hmm, I agree with keeping your guard up/options open for now.

@ActonSquirrel silence sounds like the best policy for now, if only to give you a break from waiting for messages.

@BelladiMamma has it been three months of messaging?! Content sounds good though and I'm keeping everything crossed for your first date.

This is probably outing but just back from a long day at hospital with dd and am done in. She's going to be fine but it was worrying and stressful, especially as I didn't eat until 4pm all day! So I have very little energy to give two figs about Mr Blue Eyes who has just tried to video call me... Couldn't answer of course as dd is here. Might talk to him later or might just watch love Island..![/quote]
@Misty9 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Misty9 yeah my work is going well at the moment. Have lots of friends. I have plans in the diary nearly every week / weekend coming up and for most if summer gone.

I'm fine without him. I would like a boyfriend but I don't need one. My life is full without one.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

... He's made it clear he wants something serious, and even though that's what I want too, I told him that I'm just happy chatting to people for the moment and seeing how things go.

I'm finding when I tell guys that I want something serious, they start saying all sorts, so I thought that I wouldn't this time.

Also, I get panicky when I overthink about dating someone and start obsessing, so I'm trying to take things slowly ❤️

I wouldn't be too cool. It could backfire.

I'd love for a man to say that to me.

@ActonSquirrel I think he means that he wants something serious with a woman generally. He doesn't mean me. He doesn't know me.

I'm cool because I'm scared. I've only ever dated one person, who I really loved. then he got bored with me and broke things off, so I do worry about things dating wise.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I don't know. Maybe it is his way of saying he doesn't want casual with anyone either.

I do hear you about the hurt. I'm still reeling from a break up like that and I found out he had been cheating later too.

[quote ActonSquirrel]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I don't know. Maybe it is his way of saying he doesn't want casual with anyone either.

I do hear you about the hurt. I'm still reeling from a break up like that and I found out he had been cheating later too.[/quote]
@ActonSquirrel yes, I completely understand that.

My ex started off really nice, then he started to turn nasty. Then he said 'I wasn't on his level anymore.' And he 'didn't like me as a lover.'

But he still wanted to be friends, of course (!) Sometimes I wonder if he was cheating on me, as well. I wouldn't put it past him ❤️

@ActonSquirrel sorry to hear about that though. It's a horrible feeling ❤️

Then he said 'I wasn't on his level anymore.' And he 'didn't like me as a lover.'

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards what a bastard. No you're not on his level far too good for him.

Mine ended up in a bit of a mess I still look him up on Facebook and laugh.

Who am I kidding here. My penpal said he doesn't do casual... and here he is involved in casual messaging with me.