Dating Thread 208 - sausage fest summer

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

On the subject of penpals and texting etc, I have a question for the more experienced posters:

Have you ever had mediocre texting convo but on meeting, dynamite chemistry?

@BelladiMamma he didn’t reply to messages very often, when I asked him about lack of communication he said he doesn’t like messaging, but then he added that he has a life and this online dating was awful, and had a meltdown. I tried to discuss, as adults, he ghosted me. I’m guessing maybe he was married, and the communication was obviously difficult? 🤷‍♀️

@HairyArsedMan couldn’t agree more with just wanting one single decent match.

@Isitreallyme177 maybe you could use this as an opportunity to revamp the room, turn it into a new space, freshen it up 🙂

@Shuffleuplove my ex was a crap texter (we met IRL though) but was so different in person. It’s weird but don’t think someones texting style gives a good representation of their personality.

@BelladiMamma how far do you set the distance on your apps? Mine’s 20 miles maybe I should make it further but I just think local works so much better.

@Mylifestartstoday I’ve matched a few times with a lovely looking guy who is EXTREMELY negative about online dating, can’t get any convo out of him, he gives manic depressive vibes so I’ve unmatched him aabout 3 times now 😂 just moans all the time about how shit old is and has nothing more to say, I’m like well why are you even on here!! 🙄

[quote Mylifestartstoday]@BelladiMamma he didn’t reply to messages very often, when I asked him about lack of communication he said he doesn’t like messaging, but then he added that he has a life and this online dating was awful, and had a meltdown. I tried to discuss, as adults, he ghosted me. I’m guessing maybe he was married, and the communication was obviously difficult? 🤷‍♀️[/quote]
That's a bit of a red flag if you can't cope with normal texting?
I have a male friend who's given up on OLD because he's severely dyslexic and can barely manage to keep on top of his messages for work.
I do feel bad for him because it's like he's effectively cut off from a lot of dating opportunities and I know he's fed up of being single. But he's lucky in that he's a handsome chap and continues to meet people IRL often enough.

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma how far do you set the distance on your apps? Mine’s 20 miles maybe I should make it further but I just think local works so much better.[/quote]
I usually start with 30 miles but I've also played around with the radius a bit because by putting 30 miles I get more random 50+ miles matches, so occasionally if I want a more focused swiping session I bring them right down.

@ActonSquirrel

What is wrong with these guys who just want pen pals though.

They could be having actual sex and romance.

Well I know what's wrong with mine tbh

I'm still thinking about this and I'd love a bloke's perspective @HairyArsedMan?

I'm not sure why they prefer penpals....the one who messed me around preferred me as a penpal.

I agree that they could actually be dating, not getting weird kicks from a phone screen.

I would get nothing out of just being a penpal with a man I wasn't keen on. These men seem to enjoy it - maybe they like us swooning over them 🤔

@BelladiMamma.. would you not date your friend? 🙂

Wow.. just noticed we need a new thread.. anyone want to do the honours.. Bella you’re amazing with words??! 😁

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma.. would you not date your friend? 🙂[/quote]
It's been suggested before but we are so enmeshed. We've been friends since we were 9! Plus I know his ex etc

@Shayelle2009 I have some left over white paint so I'll probably use that and once it's got pictures and a rug in there it should be okay. I'm just amazed people treat people like that.

As for penpals I had one of them in Computer Geek, he kept saying it was because he was just out of this long term relationship and his head was a mess. He said he knew he had to move on but I think deep down he hadn't accepted it was over and used me as someone to talk to as no one knew what was going on. When I did meet him in fairness he was a real mess and the whole situation was a mess (fancy not telling your kids you have moved out) .

@Shayelle2009

Wow.. just noticed we need a new thread.. anyone want to do the honours.. Bella you’re amazing with words??! 😁

Unmmmm I'm going to try but if I fail I'll let you know!!

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4315756-dating-thread-209-summer-of-love-2021

New thread here ☝🏻

@BelladiMamma ahh no you dont want to ruin an old friendship 💗