Dating Thread 208 - sausage fest summer

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Sausage fest - loving the title.
Just a chipolata for me 😩

@JustAnotherOldMan

Sausage fest - loving the title. Just a chipolata for me 😩

We can all live in hope 😁

Place marking to update later

[quote Naimee87]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards either way sounds super cute! Have you discussed films you like? 🤩🙌🏻[/quote]
@Naimee87- he likes horrors. I'm more of a drama buff ❤️

@Naimee87 my daughter keeps telling me to watch that show - I might give in and try it with a glass of vino later :) I also need to clean my house it is a tip after being away for the week! Keeping busy is a good idea.
I’m on pof at the moment chatting to a couple of non weird people so I’ll see if anything comes of it:)

@MayEyeye Were you exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend?

If you were then I think a message to end it is needed otherwise you're technically cheating on him by messaging(and possibly more) with others.

He said 2 weeks, its been 3, a message from you to end it is fine.

If you were just FWB or non-exclusive then I think its fine to not message.

@Naimee87 she is very cheeky but somehow she managed to convince the company that she will work half days for some of it. Personally I can't see it happening as she will be visiting friends and family on Africa.

I hope it does aswell. I think I'm starting to annoy people by sticking to my contracted working hours and doing exactly my job description. I have been chosen to train the new employees so I know I'm more valuable to the company then they are to me.

@MayEye Sorry I hadn't refreshed, I see @Onesmallstep67 has said the same as me.

Taking ownership is the grown up thing to do and gives you closure otherwise in a year you might still be wondering what happened/whether he will be back.

@Dancerinthemoonlight Thanks for the thread.

I'll be back at some point to update on things with Mr K.

@SortingItOut yes I agree - we aren’t anything as we never discussed it! Probably looked like exclusive fwb to an outsider - at least I think we were exclusive! I was anyway.
But I wanted it to be a relationship so ending it properly is the mature thing to do.

Hi @MayEye, personally I wouldn't bother messaging. His silence says it all. It happened to me last year and I think generally people are too chicken to say their feelings have changed. It's horrible but I would leave it.

Just en route to my date with Mr Swede. We swapped numbers last night just in case and turns out he is gorgeous and his Bumble pics didn't do him justice. Plus beyond clever. I, on the other hand, feel quite fat and bothersome in the heat plus I worked late and only had 30min to sex myself up!!! We are going to dinner somewhere posh, his suggestion. I'm hoping it's not a cringeworthy evening.

@MayEye

That’s interesting *@BelladiMamma* because it’s not dissimilar to my relationship with Mr TG - bit of a compromise on my part.

It is easier to not have that awkward conversation and I have pushed for it previously when previous iron Mr German started to go cold on me. It’s not a nice thing to do though , but your friend grieving is not in a great position to see that now.
Mr TG is dealing with his divorce 5 years on but he ran away for 4 years and worked abroad so it’s probably like it’s freshly traumatic for him - he has form for not dealing with things I see now

Funnily enough that's exactly what my friend did - ran away to work abroad. And asked his ex to sign a post nup and then kicked the van down the road for divorce.

I find it really surprising. He's incredibly evolved and mature in so many ways. Just not with intimate relationships!

Just to add my thoughts on closure. I think a message can be a good thing. You say your piece and you even then say - I'm going no contact for a few weeks and you block their number?

I am still wondering if I owe a longer message to MrBear but he's asked for no contact. I clearly finished things with him but I haven't sent him a 'thanks for all the memories' message which I would normally to someone I'm fond of. Even if he was trying to get way too involved & wanting me to be involved with his life too.

Thank you for the new thread. I am keeping everything except legs crossed that the sausage fest is indeed around the corner. Haven't had sex in 6 months which is the longest for bloody ages. Got a couple of old irons lined back up and i said I want to date not hook up but it's probably not going anywhere with them so I might just go for the sausage anyway.

Best new iron is Mr Italy who is slow to message but keeps asking questions and sending nice messages so it keeps going but I'm bored now. I usually just bite the bullet and ask the guy out by now but that hasn't been working for me so wanted to wait for him this time. But gosh it's boring as fuck waiting.

I'm usually matching his reply times and we've dwindled to a couple of messages every 24 hours. Probably a waste, definitely keeping stuff going with others.

Good luck to everyone and sympathy to those who sound like they're in limbo. I know that well and it feels like torture 💜 x

@Naimee87 unfortunately wasn't me, I've had no decent dates recently 😞

Been talking to a couple of guys but nothing major. I've been making a point of letting anyone who contacts me know, very early on, just for absolute clarity that: I AM NOT JUST LOOKING FOR SEX. I WANT A RELATIONSHIP. No that is not code for 'you can fuck me but I'll accept no other commitment' 😂. Not FB. Not FWB. Not casual late night booty calls. An actual, bona fide, Facebook official, be-seen-together-in-public, committed relationship. Anything less is a waste of both of our time!

Had a few ghost me immediately and therefore weed themselves out, and one who claimed he was looking for the same. Since then, said guy has talked almost exclusively about sex, asked for nudes, asked when we can meet up (for sex, obs) and sent me not one, but two, videos of him wanking 🙄🤦‍♀️ Wanky man then had the audacity (when I ignored all this) to message me this afternoon and call me rude 🤯🤬

Wtf?!?! Maybe I'm not responding because you're being disrespectful and disgusting and also because it's a Friday and it's my busiest day of the week at work!! I've literally only had time for one drink and a 5 minute lol break all day!! 😡🥵

Back into the SoT you goooo! 😂

I'd block anyone who sent me an unsolicited video of them wanking (and I can't imagine me soliciting one!), so he'd not have a chance to call me rude!

I have a friend who is trying to set me up with someone she knows. He is so far away from the kind of man I usually date, looks far younger than 24 and I think that's a bit young for me anyway. I don't find him attractive in the picture she just sent so why do I feel like I'm the bad guy and the one in the wrong for wanting to say no.

The only reasons she texted me under the guise of seeing how I am was to try and set me up. She has ignored everything I said about work and dating

@Dancerinthemoonlight - Thanks for the new thread!

Just quickly checking in.
Nothing has changed with me. I'm still chatting with MrMud, we had another video date last night which lasted for hours.

I've let all the other chats drift due to them not feeling right for one reason or another. I've paused/deleted the apps for now as with daughter being home for the summer hols now, I don't have the time for it anyway.

Checking in, thanks for the thread Dancer. I'm just looking forward to meeting Mr Teacher next week and hopefully speaking to him again before then.

@Dancerinthemoonlight could you ask for a few more pictures so you can get a proper idea, it might be a really old/bad one (some people have no idea about what their good/bad pics are😅)

But if you're not definitely not feeling him there's no harm, although I'd feel like you at first, like a meanie 😂.

@bbub she sent me a picture he had just taken of his face and I looked on her friends on Facebook. He looked nice for a friend but not sexually attractive for me or someone I'd want to date.
Although she has told him that I'm not looking to date at the moment and she will let him know when I am. Erm that's not what I said but I can't be bothered to argue. The more I talk about her to other people the more I wonder why I keep in contact with her when she ignores what I say about work and dating, only contacts me when she wants something and has slut shamed me in the past

@troobleflooble

I had exactly the same thing last round - seems to be some post lockdown weirdness, like guys maybe getting addicted to phone sex stuff as they can’t go out?

I know it’s a growing trend and maybe it’s just a bit of bad luck but it’s not even “let’s go on a flirtatious meet and hookup” - the phone sex IS the final goal in itself they don’t even want to physically meet

Checking in with all you lovely lot 😇😇

As for my communication situation somehow MrBeard and I have managed to be texting and on the phone most of the day. It's got very flirty and I've gone in with some heavy grade very flirty and truthful suggestions about our potential relationship status. It's all gone down very positively 😁 ... now we just have to meet ... over invested, moi?

[quote troobleflooble]@Naimee87 unfortunately wasn't me, I've had no decent dates recently 😞

Been talking to a couple of guys but nothing major. I've been making a point of letting anyone who contacts me know, very early on, just for absolute clarity that: I AM NOT JUST LOOKING FOR SEX. I WANT A RELATIONSHIP. No that is not code for 'you can fuck me but I'll accept no other commitment' 😂. Not FB. Not FWB. Not casual late night booty calls. An actual, bona fide, Facebook official, be-seen-together-in-public, committed relationship. Anything less is a waste of both of our time!

Had a few ghost me immediately and therefore weed themselves out, and one who claimed he was looking for the same. Since then, said guy has talked almost exclusively about sex, asked for nudes, asked when we can meet up (for sex, obs) and sent me not one, but two, videos of him wanking 🙄🤦‍♀️ Wanky man then had the audacity (when I ignored all this) to message me this afternoon and call me rude 🤯🤬

Wtf?!?! Maybe I'm not responding because you're being disrespectful and disgusting and also because it's a Friday and it's my busiest day of the week at work!! I've literally only had time for one drink and a 5 minute lol break all day!! 😡🥵

Back into the SoT you goooo! 😂[/quote]
🤮 just aaargh YUCK

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@bbub she sent me a picture he had just taken of his face and I looked on her friends on Facebook. He looked nice for a friend but not sexually attractive for me or someone I'd want to date.
Although she has told him that I'm not looking to date at the moment and she will let him know when I am. Erm that's not what I said but I can't be bothered to argue. The more I talk about her to other people the more I wonder why I keep in contact with her when she ignores what I say about work and dating, only contacts me when she wants something and has slut shamed me in the past[/quote]
I wouldn't keep her as a friend either. She may have some ulterior motive in setting you up with him. Be careful - which you are - and move on x

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@troobleflooble

I had exactly the same thing last round - seems to be some post lockdown weirdness, like guys maybe getting addicted to phone sex stuff as they can’t go out?

I know it’s a growing trend and maybe it’s just a bit of bad luck but it’s not even “let’s go on a flirtatious meet and hookup” - the phone sex IS the final goal in itself they don’t even want to physically meet [/quote]
How depressing ... is this what the world has come to ... phone sex is a goal 😞