Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@OutingMyself I find broad questions tricky!

Please can I ask opinions?? Guy from sunday messaged me earlier saying he’s sorry he upset me the other evening..
We have chatted about it.. I don't think he realised what upset me so much.. he said he thought the woman on the tv was far from ugly and he didn’t mean it like that it was his blokey banter gone wrong..

I do think it’s nice he’s apologised and I feel like it’s genuine..

Any thoughts??

@Isitreallyme777 I bet the boxing has done you the world of good this eve 😊

Lol @cravingthelook talking of being "cock-happy" I'm thinking of pulling back on things so I don't get all heady so I'll just be "cock-neutral" mode.

this summer is going fast and I don't want to spend most of my week glued to my phone or swooning?

I wouldn't have minded finding the perfect lover/casual monogamous situation

but the logistics are just so time-consuming so I might just honourably retreat with my scraps and accept a chaste summrer.

@Shayelle2009 This is MrTrades? Did he just message out of the blue?

I’m chatting with a bloke who is a super fit gym bunny. I am the antithesis of this. He contacted me, I’m portly on my profile. What’s that about??

@SpringlikeBunk yeah MrTrades and yeah messaged out the blue..

Give me your analysis please oh wise one 😊

I’d think carefully about it @Shayelle2009 - personally I’d trust my first instincts/impressions

I know I’m quite dismissive right now as I’m fed up with the apps.

However, if you think you had enough time to meet him, and said you wanted more of a “traditional date” format and felt robust enough you could give him a chance? You’ve been chatting for a while I think?

See if it was just first meet nerves.

But I wouldn’t overinvest or hugely go out of my way to meet, if that makes sense? Have a plan B.

Keep it to something low-key where you can get away quickly if needed

(I’m really curious about the woman on the tv now!)

@SpringlikeBunk

I’d think carefully about it *@Shayelle2009* - personally I’d trust my first instincts/impressions

I know I’m quite dismissive right now as I’m fed up with the apps.

However, if you think you had enough time to meet him, and said you wanted more of a “traditional date” format and felt robust enough you could give him a chance? You’ve been chatting for a while I think?

See if it was just first meet nerves.

But I wouldn’t overinvest or hugely go out of my way to meet, if that makes sense? Have a plan B.

Keep it to something low-key where you can get away quickly if needed

@Shayelle2009 I agree with @Spring 🙂

I think the thing with Mr. Action has fizzled out. I'm so fed up of the apps. Most people that I've matched with are either boring, not my type or both of those. It's a real minefield ❤️

@Shayelle2009 boxing was just what was needed, then the football (Mr Cricket was messaging all the way through, think someone might need company during the final 😂).

How do you feel about Mr Trades? Do you think he is being truthful? Why did it take him so long to realise he had upset you.

Just popped on tinder quickly and had a thought..

Is it just me that gets pretty annoyed when guys don't have a picture of themselves and then by way of explanation in the bio say 'ooh I can't put pics up because of my job'?! Especially when they then go on to say that they'll provide pics if you match? Why the hell would I match with someone when I have absolutely no idea what they look like! I'm not shallow but come on 🙄

I mean, unless you're famous or in MI5? I doubt anyone at your accountancy firm cares that you're on Tinder, Derek!! Or am I just totally unreasonable and there are actually jobs out there where your boss would reprimand/fire you if you dared to use your actual likeness on dating sites?

Then again, there's a guy who's popped up on Hinge who apparently works for my former employer, so I could swap horror stories with him, I suppose 😂❤️

Thanks ladies. I would consider meeting him again as I feel like he’s a genuine guy but not really sure if I’d ever be blown away by him. But I don’t know him, so hard to tell.
I don’t think he’s a bad guy… will see how the next few days pan out.

Thank you for your thoughts 💗

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards all the apps are disappointing in their own way aren't they. I’m so glad to be off them this week. x

@troobleflooble they're the married ones…

@Isitreallyme777 I think he was anxious because i just cut him off everywhere with no explanation. Unmatched from Tinder (as i deleted it) deleted his contact details.. he probably had a beer this eve cos of the footy and felt brave to msg.. maybe

Oh and glad boxing was good 😁

@OutingMyself I talk about my love of music... easy and good to start a conversation

@Shayelle2009 I agree with @SpringlikeBunk and I'd tread carefully with this one. Could easily be first date nerves and, depending on who he compared you to, may not have realised he'd insulted you.
I was disappointed to read your update after the date cos he sounded promising!
Laughing at "nobody cares if you're on tinder Derek" 😂
@WeWantTheFinestWines I can only imagine what a fantastic time you had yesterday!!
@Shuffleuplove two things come to mind if I match with a gym bunny (I am NOT). Firstly, they may have right swiped indiscriminately, then do the filtering. Or secondly, the gym is their hobby and they're not so bothered whether or not their partner is into it.

Ahh thanks @Heartbeats0708. 💗 I’ll see how the chats go and how he acts.
@Shuffleuplove I’m very active but actually prefer a dad bod on a man and I’m not bothered if they go gym or not.. as long as they’re not lazy.. he must like the way you look to have messaged you 😊

Is it just me that gets pretty annoyed when guys don't have a picture of themselves and then by way of explanation in the bio say 'ooh I can't put pics up because of my job'?!

Years ago I had a guy on old who said this, I pushed to know his job because I thought it must be interesting. He was a manager at Dreams, the bed retailer. 🙄

But, anyway, yes they are married.

I don't get annoyed though, I just ignore them. I don't swipe right on anyone with no picture of themselves.

Still need to check in with all your stories and will be getting back to you all today.
thanks to everyone who commented wanted to give a quick update. Mr Elf came over last night and i told him i thought it was ridiculous he just didn't ask for the lift as i would have given him one. He apologised and said he didn't mean to offend me quite so much but it would have been something he would naturally have offered so he thought i'd do the same. It's school holidays so my son was at a sleepover and i've just dropped MrElf at the train station and he's away now for about 10days. I really will miss him and i am so curious to see how much he'll stay in contact. We've been as intimate as it gets, but was more than happy to go there with him and glad i did. Given MrS and the chemistry we had i wasn't sure that'd ever happen again but with MrElf its so good in a diffrent way. I'm telling myself its because we feel the same but you can never know these days and if he begins to pull away i'll not be chasing him i've learned my lessson and will not waste any of my time! Wish i was more like spring ... how's your book - 'üSpring on Dating - 'finding a diamond-stud in the sea of wanky-potatoes' coming along? you'd make a fair few pennies getting all your posts published!

@Naimee87

Still need to check in with all your stories and will be getting back to you all today. thanks to everyone who commented wanted to give a quick update. Mr Elf came over last night and i told him i thought it was ridiculous he just didn't ask for the lift as i would have given him one. He apologised and said he didn't mean to offend me quite so much but it would have been something he would naturally have offered so he thought i'd do the same. It's school holidays so my son was at a sleepover and i've just dropped MrElf at the train station and he's away now for about 10days. I really will miss him and i am so curious to see how much he'll stay in contact. We've been as intimate as it gets, but was more than happy to go there with him and glad i did. Given MrS and the chemistry we had i wasn't sure that'd ever happen again but with MrElf its so good in a diffrent way. I'm telling myself its because we feel the same but you can never know these days and if he begins to pull away i'll not be chasing him i've learned my lessson and will not waste any of my time! Wish i was more like spring ... how's your book - 'üSpring on Dating - 'finding a diamond-stud in the sea of wanky-potatoes' coming along? you'd make a fair few pennies getting all your posts published!

I'm pleased that the convo went well with MrElf. The main thing is you felt able to bring it up and you are not ignoring anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

@SpringlikeBunk which apps were you on did you ever try badoo? is it a UK one too? my friend said she thinks its owned by Bumble. I never liked Bumble. Only man i met on there claimed he was 44 and from the UK, when i met him he was actually 48 and came across SO gay and had an american accent. The date was a red-wine haze but thankfully he was a gentlemen and after an evening of watching him flip his ferrari keys back and forth, which matched his ferrari phone case, and hours of him droning on about his many business achievements (yaawwwwwn) he drove me home in THE 'ferrari'. If he'd have been at all interested to get to know me he would have known i love TRUCKS! He leaned in for a kiss and i gave him a really awkward squish faced-hug and bolted! Badoo is really fun and has a good mix of cocky-shower-posers and men that look capable of holiding a conversation as well as being able to listen for longer than 30seconds.
@Heartbeats0708 this is what i really want to avoid, this childish game-playing. So i'm happy i spoke up, he seemed surprised i'd thought it was a big deal. But i'm definitely not going to be as quiet as i've been in the past if anything he does ever makes me feel bad in anyway i'll be letting him know and instigating those confrontational conversations i'd always shyed away from. He's just left me 3 voice messages! I do love his accent and how he stumbles over some words!!!
@OutingMyself this is what MrElf did and i wrote a mammoth essay leaving out specifics (names, where i live/work etc.) see how he would respond and he wrote the same back to me. Scrolled for ages. I could tell then his interest was genuine, not once did he ask for more photos. I hate that! I hate the chitchat at the beginning and i talk A LOT so best they realise this before we meet.