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Original poster

Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

998 replies

Dancerinthemoonlight · 04/07/2021 00:06

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Ivanescort · 08/07/2021 09:46

This reply has been deleted

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Naimee87 · 08/07/2021 09:53

@BelladiMamma i definitely find i've much more confidence in me this time round. I think because on the one hand it'd be sad for things not to work out but i am so capable of living my life with me, my son and my little dog. I've learnt i don't need anyone else to be happy! And if this relationship steals any of my happiness away from me i'll have to let it go. But yes safe to say the conversation went well and i miss him even though its been 1hr and he's gone for 10days! This will be a challenge! Happy to have all of you to be able to 'rant' at Grin
@Shayelle2009 i don't see the harm in trying one more date with him. Whats your gut saying...did you say you were attracted to him or not so much?
@Isitreallyme777 did you go to the football? we watched on the telly at home what was the experience like... hope the kids really enjoyed themselves.

Isitreallyme777 · 08/07/2021 09:56

@Naimee87 I think you tagged the wrong person. I'd love to have gone to the football but watched it from home (and I don't have kids).

FluffyFluffMonster · 08/07/2021 10:17

Not had time to catch up on new thread but looking for some much needed advice. Things were starting to get serious with mr coffee. He's the one who said I'm pretty but not that pretty.
He's been making a few subtle comments about my weight so last night I asked him if he has a problem with me. He told me he would like it if I were more toned! Not looking good is it? For reference I'm a size 14, 5ft7 with a c-section stomach.

Isitreallyme777 · 08/07/2021 11:06

@FluffyFluffMonster personally I would be a bit offended if the guy I was seeing said that to me. You were like this when he met you so why is it an issue all of a sudden.

Dirtyduck · 08/07/2021 11:21

@FluffyFluffMonster

Not had time to catch up on new thread but looking for some much needed advice. Things were starting to get serious with mr coffee. He's the one who said I'm pretty but not that pretty. He's been making a few subtle comments about my weight so last night I asked him if he has a problem with me. He told me he would like it if I were more toned! Not looking good is it? For reference I'm a size 14, 5ft7 with a c-section stomach.
@FluffyFluffMonster - those comments would be a big red flag for me, if he's negging you this early on, it will only get worse in my experience, I would bin him without a second thought personally.
Onesmallstep67 · 08/07/2021 11:24

@FluffyFluffMonster, it's a huge FAT no from me if guys ever say anything like this. Maybe that's because I am overweight and they will have been able to see that from my pics and when I was feeling a little more insecure I would also reference it in my bio. Whatever your shape or size, if people start making personal or in any way negative comments about your appearance it would be an instant turn off for me and something I consider exceptionally rude.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 08/07/2021 11:31

[quote Shayelle2009]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards all the apps are disappointing in their own way aren't they. I’m so glad to be off them this week. x[/quote]
@Shayelle2009 yeah, I'm lucky if I get someone to reply at the moment 😂 I might pause mine for a bit. I'm not deluged with matches so no one will be missing me 😂😂❤️

VanGoghsDog · 08/07/2021 11:32

@FluffyFluffMonster

Not had time to catch up on new thread but looking for some much needed advice. Things were starting to get serious with mr coffee. He's the one who said I'm pretty but not that pretty. He's been making a few subtle comments about my weight so last night I asked him if he has a problem with me. He told me he would like it if I were more toned! Not looking good is it? For reference I'm a size 14, 5ft7 with a c-section stomach.
I'd dump anyone who made any comments about my weight, I even get a bit tetchy about positive comments!

My ex had a few choice things, such as 'don't put on any weight, I didn't date fat birds' (I'm exactly the same size and height as you, his previous two girlfriends were both overweight). I dumped him, these comments were only part of the reason but I stored them away.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 08/07/2021 11:37

@FluffyFluffMonster I'm sorry to be blunt and judgey but he sounds horrible! In my opinion, he has no right to make comments about your, or anyone's appearance. I can see him hurting your self esteem at some point, so please think carefully before deciding to take things further with him ❤️

Dirtyduck · 08/07/2021 11:39

@Shuffleuplove

I’m chatting with a bloke who is a super fit gym bunny. I am the antithesis of this. He contacted me, I’m portly on my profile. What’s that about??
@Shuffleuplove - I'm in a similar situation with MrMud who is very fit and plays sport at a high level - whereas I'm obviously quite overweight. He is a real departure from my usual type - I normally go for the geek type who are more interested in staying at home watching TV! But he swiped on me first so I'm willing to see how things go, I would never had swiped on him otherwise as I wouldn't have believed he would be interested in me. Blush
Slothmomma · 08/07/2021 11:53

@FluffyFluffMonster nope, he'd be gone! The person you're with should make you feel like a million dollars not picking fault already. Nope just nope, send him packing

cravingthelook · 08/07/2021 12:05

Adding to the chorus @FluffyFluffMonster get rid.
I'm 5'4" and a size 16 with a very squishy tummy and big thighs and none of my irons say anything except that I'm gorgeous and sexy. Mr HT gets excited by just a picture of my legs ffs.
I wouldn't see any of them if they made negative comments about my body.
Get an iron that sees you as a goddess.

BelladiMamma · 08/07/2021 13:10

@FluffyFluffMonster and believe me, there is an iron who'll believe you're a goddess & who won't be able to keep his hands off you 👸🏻💕👸🏻💕

areyouhavingagiraffe · 08/07/2021 13:14

Joining! Have a Bumble date tonight with a Mr. Dapper. Haven't had a date since pre-pandemic. Have had various matches on Apps but seems to fizzle out. Mr Dapper seems cute and suggested drinks. He has booked a table for food / drinks. Don't usually do food on a first meet.

BelladiMamma · 08/07/2021 13:14

Ok oh wise ones I have two ex iron dilemmas.

  1. My dogs have developed kennel cough. Mr Bear and I last walked our dogs together on Sunday when I finished things with him. Apparently it's highly contagious and I now need to keep them away from other dogs for at least 7 days. Tell Mr Bear? This also means I won't be going to France and he has my DD's laptop for repairs so I can give him a gentle nudge.
  1. Whilst sat outside the vets waiting for them to see the dogs, I was scrolling through Twitter. I occasionally check my ex actor / Xanax swilling dick pic sending cock lodger's account as he threatened suicide when I called things off. I then liked a tweet of his by mistake (fat finger). He messaged me within 5 minutes. Ignore or say hi then bye?
SpringlikeBunk · 08/07/2021 13:16

I’ve actually gone from sausage fest to clearing the decks a bit Blush

Just seem to have some great non-dating/work opportunities cropping up and I’d rather capitalise on them and feel happy and productive than worry about screening Mike,36?

I think I’m just not currently geared up for the uncertainty of scoping someone out - like I don’t actually want to be stressing out whether MrWindsor is away for work or the timing of visiting MrDinner?

Have had some nice moments over last few weeks

but finding the level of nutters and flakes and microaggressions really is Shock? It’s like a really skewed view of the world and people.

So benching myself for now or I’ll get cynical and negative. Given moving soon I don’t want to be investing in chats and them fizzling?

Thanks for the badoo tip @Naimee87 I’ll try that next time I’m on.

I was on fab, tinder, bumble, and hinge. Found hinge really slow, tinder most action, same creeps on both tbh?

Didn’t ever get any Fab action 😢 but actually seemed worth exploring.

Bumble looks nice with all the matches but again it comes down to out of ten - six don’t reply, two are creepy and two chat for a bit than disappear?

But I guess it only takes 1-2 good contacts to feel great.

VanGoghsDog · 08/07/2021 13:23

@BelladiMamma

Ok oh wise ones I have two ex iron dilemmas.
  1. My dogs have developed kennel cough. Mr Bear and I last walked our dogs together on Sunday when I finished things with him. Apparently it's highly contagious and I now need to keep them away from other dogs for at least 7 days. Tell Mr Bear? This also means I won't be going to France and he has my DD's laptop for repairs so I can give him a gentle nudge.
  1. Whilst sat outside the vets waiting for them to see the dogs, I was scrolling through Twitter. I occasionally check my ex actor / Xanax swilling dick pic sending cock lodger's account as he threatened suicide when I called things off. I then liked a tweet of his by mistake (fat finger). He messaged me within 5 minutes. Ignore or say hi then bye?
1) take the vet's advice 2) see above
BelladiMamma · 08/07/2021 13:29

@VanGoghsDog 😂😂😂

Dirtyduck · 08/07/2021 13:33

[quote BelladiMamma]@FluffyFluffMonster and believe me, there is an iron who'll believe you're a goddess & who won't be able to keep his hands off you 👸🏻💕👸🏻💕[/quote]
Agree with this. Life is too short to be wasting it on someone who doesn't love you as you are.
I'm 5'5 and size 18 and I wouldn't want to be with anyone who commented negatively on my size.

@areyouhavingagiraffe - Good luck with the date!

Naimee87 · 08/07/2021 13:45

@Isitreallyme777 my mistake sorry! Honestly my concentration is terrible these days. Works proving to be a little slow going which isn't a good thing as i get distracted easily ooops and even then ended up tagging the wrong person! You're the boxer that was heading home for the football. Got it! Just got back from mountain snow chains good to have a distraction for the day
@WeWantTheFinestWines it was you out at Wembley! How was the atmosphere?

Naimee87 · 08/07/2021 14:11

@BelladiMamma write back... see what he has to say for himself he sounds insane based on your description though. Who was the voice message from? What did he say GrinI'm starting to like the ones i get from MrElf even if it is just to tell me he left his water bottle on the train! So romantic!

Agree with the posts on appearance, they aren't very nice feels like being controlled or like your meant to change and only then are you eligible to 'date me' this shouldn't be the case. MrElf is far shorter and chunkier than any of the men i have dated and i would never think to bring it up as i think it is something that bothers him and obviously he can't change his height. I'm 5'4 and a size 10 he's 5'8 or 5'9.

Shayelle2009 · 08/07/2021 14:22

Thanks @Naimee87 I would consider seeing MrTrades again as I feel he wasn't trying to criticise and seems genuine so we’ll see. Nit spoken anymore today but will just see how things go.

With the others @FluffyFluffMonster it would be a definite ‘fin’ for that, especially as he’s already had the one strike with the pretty comment.

@BelladiMamma hope your dogs will be ok 💛

BelladiMamma · 08/07/2021 14:24

[quote Naimee87]@BelladiMamma write back... see what he has to say for himself he sounds insane based on your description though. Who was the voice message from? What did he say GrinI'm starting to like the ones i get from MrElf even if it is just to tell me he left his water bottle on the train! So romantic!

Agree with the posts on appearance, they aren't very nice feels like being controlled or like your meant to change and only then are you eligible to 'date me' this shouldn't be the case. MrElf is far shorter and chunkier than any of the men i have dated and i would never think to bring it up as i think it is something that bothers him and obviously he can't change his height. I'm 5'4 and a size 10 he's 5'8 or 5'9.[/quote]
The hot voice note was from Mr Beard whom I met on bumble at the same time as Mr Bear.
Mr Beard's voice is proper gravelly Essex. I think I could syndictae it as a goodnight lullaby for some of us on here 😂

Shayelle2009 · 08/07/2021 14:25

Ah and not sure my head would be turned by MrTrades in the street, but we do seem to get on well, I think there’s a connection and if he’s got a good heart and he’s kind and lovely, he could well become extremely attractive to me. Time will tell, as it always does….