Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

It’s just boring isn’t it, where’s the excitement?!?? Nope not one match sweet!!

Yeah, sooo dull...and 90% of the men aren't even worth talking to.

Goodness this is depressing 😕😄

I’ve swiped right a few times but I must either get lefted all the time or I’m just right at the bottom of the barrel 🙁 so never get seen, either option is a wonderful confidence booster 😟

It’s weird though because when I’m out and about I get attention. But zero on the apps 😒

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards In the post I quoted you said I think my time to know my worth will come once I find a man who wants to be with me

That to me read that you only feel your own worth if you have a man.

Apologies if you didn't meanit like that.

@Eesha Has your new job started yet?
Is it full time?

@Misty9 oh no! i agree with it being too early to tell about being ghosted yet, but it's not a nice feeling when something begins to feel 'off' but you can't quite put your finger on it. Definitely don't let it take over your day. Take @BelladiMamma's advice and throw yourself into something new that's just for you. Since getting some 'just for me' hobbies on the go i'm much more unavailable and it's the best distraction from wondering/waiting for messages. Step away from the phone, it'll do you the world of good!

So my friend was here last night and we reactivated one of the apps together, she's intent on finding me someone now that she is all nice an loved up with her 'surprise' blind date she had a few weeks ago. Their already smitten with one another. But have totally jumped head-first into a relationship, i'm crossing fingers it works but moving that fast hasn't ever ended well for me. So far i've not made any connections on the app was late when she left so maybe later.
@bangheadhere40 that message made me laugh.... what a knob! Clearly not worth your time at all.

I'm currently reading Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, I can't get enough of it and wish I had some days off to read it rather than just the evenings.

I've had about 100 lightbulb moments and I'm only about 200 pages in.

I realise now that my husband was emotionally unavailable and that I seek emotionally unavailable men as I am also emotionally unavailable 🤯

I'm not sure what this means for Mr K and I but I'll just carry on reading and absorbing and await the chapters which are all about me and why I am like I am.

Love it when you get a great book like that @SortingItOut and you can’t put it down!!

Also love that book sorting! I too was the fallback girl and it was like reading my own diary.

I'm probably EU too even though I don't think I am- I tend to go for EU men though.

What are your hobbies @Naimee87? Out of curiosity ☺️

So I found Mr Confused on Facebook, he has a very unusual name so it was easy enough. He is a clinical psychologist. He said to me last night he doesn't want to go out on dates and doesn't want to stay in and when I said what does that leave he said deleting the app. So I woke up this morning expecting him to have disappeared but he hadn't. He is living up to his name.🤣

@Shayelle2009, may sound a bit daft but seeing as we're all still working from home I workout every morning. I bought a skipping rope and weights and choose a workout from Pinterest. It has done wonders for my motivation and puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. You're doing it only for you and can set your own goals and the harder i push myself the better i feel afterwards. Through doing these workouts and chatting with friends about them I also got invited to 'cross-fit' classes which has made my 'social circle so much bigger.' I have an admin/office job so super 'boring' and i have to sit really still/concentrate (not easy for me to do ever, hence why i am currently on here ooops! ). Great team but not 100% what i see myself doing forever. This leads to my next hobby which i touched on earlier given one of the the girls on here is seeing a 'lorry driver.' I decided to go for the license. This involves so much studying for thoery tests, plus taking practical lessons which are over 2hrs at a time and involve learning all different types of driving skills. I never in a million years thought i'd be able to do this but seems perseverence paid off. I love driving so this is an amazing 'hobby' for me to be able to do. Both of those hobbies don't allow me to have my phone close and my focus is on what i'm doing and doesn't wander. This was my main issue i think before i had nothing i was doing for myself so my 'search' for a man became my focus and that got me nowhere. What are you interests? hobbies? have you got any pets? we have a little dog and she totally keeps us on our toes too, when i'm on a walk with her i never have my phone with me, the more dis-connected i can be the better. We're expected to be reachable at ALL times during working hours so my free time i try as much as possible to be 'offline'

Loved reading your post @Naimee87. Well done on the driving 👍👍 i also do a lot of sport. Im a really busy and active person have a time demanding job and travel so don’t get to look at my phone all the time but I have a mind that likes to be constantly active so swiping just passes any free minutes for me ☺️☺️ I can never just sit and do ‘nothing’ always have to be reading something interesting etc. I have a cat shes amazing 💗💗 id love to have a dog, I walk a lot it would make sense to have a dog but unfort cant with my job. Maybe one day 😊

@Naimee87

Gosh *@Isitreallyme77* our situations couldn't be more similar... really horrible feeling! I hope yours soon starts to fade and you get some head-space back. It's crazy how some people feel they can treat other people. They must have no consciences at all.

@Naimee87 I meant to reply to your post yesterday, it really is a horrible feeling. I know I should do what everyone says and block and delete but I just can't. I think the problem is he has a conscience and he is genuinely a nice guy. If only the timings had been different. Oh well as a friend said if it was meant to be he'll come and find me. For now I need to get on with things.

I really have no clue where we are going wrong then with finding someone to share our crazy busy lives with. I use my skipping rope more than my son does What's your job, no need to reveal details if you prefer not to. And travel, you must have missed this with the chaos of this year. It's my birthday on Monday and part of me is excited more so than last year but then part of me thinks wow another birthday 'still single'... yay!!
I shall let you know how the swiping goes later when i get the chance! But even after having been off the app for so long i still see some of the same faces...let the funandgames begin i guess

@SortingItOut i start next week or potentially end of this one. Its full time plus very flexible with the child care. I only hope it works out!

Hi everyone,

All I can say in regards to this morning's replies to my posts last night is that if you've never ever had a man be properly interested in you without getting bored of you, then you'll be feeling a bit insecure as well ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards All we are trying to do is remind you are worth it even if half a dozen flaky men have you feeling a bit insecure. We are all human and their rejection will sting, but it doesn't mean you should spiral into 'I am not good enough or worthy enough' or be eternally thankful to the one that does show attention because a few man want to play the field a little.

@Isitreallyme77 i think i'm the same. I haven't deleted or blocked mine but i prefer it that way as i think it'd mess with my head more. At least i know that he isn't reaching me but has every possibility to do so just confirms i mean nothing to him really. And for some reason this morning i remembered the very first video chat we had, so nervous and giggly! I feel a right fool where he's concerned. My friend said if you can't change anything about the situation but also can't accept it the way it is then you just have to forget it. Saying is so easy... doing is just the opposite!
@Eesha Hope the job works out well for you!

I've never had a man. That's the whole point. They get bored of me.

I mean, I'm enjoying chatting to Mr. HR, but he'll get bored eventually, so I'm not expecting anything from him.

@Eesha hope the job works out for you too ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I agree with what everyone else has said, I had the same conversation with a friend the other day and he told me off for thinking like that. We are worthy of good men and a good man will arrive at some .

@Naimee87 yes I suppose it does prove that he doesn't care about me as he hasn't been in contact, either that or he doesn't need me to be his shoulder to cry on. My actual guess is he has gone back to his ex and in a few months the cycle will start again.

*some point

Of course I agree there's some good people on this thread. (It's why I keep coming back)

I wish I was a bit more like you lot ❤️