Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SingaporeFlamingo

Thanks SpringlikeBunk, I keep checking the rules, I’m guilty of over investing too early. Got my bullshit radar on and skin thickener. Hope your search is enjoyable and everyone else is successful at finding their person. Mr Ceramic is texting the most at the moment.

@SingaporeFlamingo don't worry, I over invest sometimes too. It can easily happen. Looks like you're getting into the right mindset, so just keep going ❤️

@SingaporeFlamingo and welcome to the thread ❤️

Quick update - date with MrTall OK, I do feel I have to do the heavy lifting with the conversation though, he has none.
He also talks really quietly and I can't hear well in busy places so can never hear him.
But it was nice to be able to just go for a drink more spontaneously, and we had tapas snacks. He pays his share without trying to insist on paying it all which I like.

Went back to his for a cuppa and I needed the loo and his house is a TIP! I mean, I know he's doing a load of restoration, but I couldn't even shut the bathroom door for my wee because the room was so cluttered and there were clothes hanging all over the door.

More snogging which I could tell he wanted to take further and I didn't. Well, certainly not enough (I had already said I needed to get back as had an early start walking today, and it was due to be hot so didn't want to be over tired).

Even if things went further it would most certainly not be at his house - ick!
He's texted me what days he is free in the week - I think I have to send him the 'not feelin it' message now, as it's not fair on him, even if nothing ends up with MrWG then I'd not want to continue with him.

Decorator - well, he tried to help me with my non-draining bath yesterday. No luck. I said I'd take him for a drink to thank him, then today after my walk, I had a shower and when I came downstairs there was water pouring through the kitchen ceiling - think he has cracked a pipe or forced a joint open with his air gun thing. Anyway, he came rushing over to help, not that anything could be done and I have logged an insurance claim - no shower in this heat!
So, I'll see him tomorrow for a drink anyway.

I got sunburn today, which was stupid of me. And four weeks ago I cut a huge chunk out of my finger, decorator had to put a plaster on for me and I ended up at hospital - well, the plaster has only just been able to come off properly and it's all deformed. MrWG did change the dressing for me a week ago (first aid trained for one of his many jobs).

I'm a bit wiped out, bed time I reckon.

Thanks OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. Quick update on Mr Ceramics had a text exchange, now this is an interesting angle, after a flurry of enthusiasm he goes a bit quiet so I’m thinking slow fade. It turns out he thought I had rejected him now cleared up that misunderstanding so we are going to talk on phone tomorrow and organise a coffee and quick chat to see if we get on. Will try and not get too carried away.

Why am I getting no matches on Tinder? Every time I go on, I’m seeing the same people. I’ve deleted the app and reinstalled it.....should I close the account, and maybe use a different email address? I can’t find anything online to help me work out why I’m not getting matches.....maybe my pics are awful 😞

@SingaporeFlamingo

Thanks OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. Quick update on Mr Ceramics had a text exchange, now this is an interesting angle, after a flurry of enthusiasm he goes a bit quiet so I’m thinking slow fade. It turns out he thought I had rejected him now cleared up that misunderstanding so we are going to talk on phone tomorrow and organise a coffee and quick chat to see if we get on. Will try and not get too carried away.

Fantastic news, @SingaporeFlamingo! ❤️

@Mylifestartstoday I see the same faces on Tinder too, not sure what I'm doing wrong. I get very few matches, I'm getting people above and below my age limit and I'm getting people 25+ miles away when I have my distance set to 16 miles.

@VanGoghsDog so sorry to hear about the plumbing nightmare and consequent water through the kitchen ceiling 😩, that would stress me out soooo much, i always find kind of thing so unsettling. I wonder what the hell it is?? Poor you about your injury too. I dont blame you for thinking of finishing things with Tall he doesn’t sound very inspiring. Hope youre ok x

Ladies why don’t you try bumble? At least the distance works well on that. I’m chatting to Mr Shack off there.

Crikey VanGogh that's a helluva update! Good luck with the ceiling and the finger, let alone the dating. I could not bear a filthy or cluttered place either, definite no, don't care how hot you are...

Because I'm such a baby at ending things, I did some Googling, thought this was a handy "pull out and keep" guide:

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28638581/breakup-texts/

@vangoghsdog that is such a hand guide. Going to bookmark it for future thanks but no thanks texts.

Hope you're ok, @VanGoghsDog. Thinking of you. ❤️

Vangoghsdog, a really useful link for the dreaded thanks but no thanks texts. I always used to use ' we' instead of 'I' , so something like ' it seems clear that the spark we were hoping for wasn't really there ' I'm sure you will find a way to be kind and clear.
Bit of a brain dump update from me.
Things here with Mr V going well. No further financial issues as yet surfaced. He's still waiting for the council to investigate a potential issue with the house - crack on an interior wall- so that is holding up any formal application to buy as clearly it needs to be fully checked before he proceeds. Mostly I am letting his living situation be his business because it currently doesn't impact me directly. I am deeply smitten though, he's a lovely person and we get on very well. I still feel a bit anxious at times and worried how I might feel if things go pear shaped. He's become a very important and integral part of my life.
After 3+ months of NC with Mr Cocky I sent a very light email checking in asking about his family, work, vaccinations etc I told him I had been seeing someone but kept it brief. I said it would be good to stay in touch occasionally and re iterated how his presence in my life had been very important to me for the last 7 years. The tone was light and affectionate. This was about 10 days ago and as yet no reply. So 80 % of me is fine with that. I was expecting a light affectionate response because that's what we've done numerous times before when having a bit of a break from chatting. He's known about other guys that I have seen and never really ignored me before. So mostly I feel it's best just to leave it, I wasn't expecting to resurrect chatting on a daily basis. But the other 20% of my thoughts are, why is he not replying ? is he okay ? It feels a bit like being ghosted, by someone who I have known and been close to for a long time. It's left unanswered questions and made me feel concerned and then annoyed that he feels it's okay to not respond. I want to send another email but what purpose would that serve. He's clearly happy not to be checking in with me at all.

@VanGoghsDog - so sorry to hear about your plumbing problems and water through the ceiling! What a nightmare. Hope you get it sorted soon

Update from me - still totally over invested in Mr Jujitsu. Texting and speaking on the phone all the time, although I am strict now during work time in the day! Meeting tomorrow for first date face-to-face. so nervous - at least I think it won’t be quite as hot so I won’t melt.

[quote VanGoghsDog]Because I'm such a baby at ending things, I did some Googling, thought this was a handy "pull out and keep" guide:

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28638581/breakup-texts/[/quote]
Haven't read but I'd hate to receive one 'off the shelf' so to speak - bit of a red flag

@GaraMedouar

Update from me - still totally over invested in Mr Jujitsu. Texting and speaking on the phone all the time, although I am strict now during work time in the day! Meeting tomorrow for first date face-to-face. so nervous - at least I think it won’t be quite as hot so I won’t melt.

Good luck, @Gara! Hope it goes well ❤️

Thank you so much @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - I will report back tomorrow evening

Wow @VanGoghsDog maybe just do a Tinder ad asking for men "good at DIY" to come sort it out for beers and dinner one night! hope you're ok

Got a couple of nice chats last night from Hinge though nothing earth shattering. Bumble seems to be "same old faces". Must remember not to get too cynical - only takes one good contact.

I got a bit bored of swiping and bit the bullet and paid for one month of Tinder Gold to see what it was about.....as we can "do stuff"/suggest spontaneous drinks etc I don't mind meeting more people now rather than slow burners

naturally it mainly looks like a Crimewatch wall of shame, but also some promising leads.

It was about £20 for a month (which I expect is all I can stomach) and although I'm tight, it saves time so hopefully will be worth it.

Just a random thing I've done on my Tinder profile, not sure if it's going to help anyone or not.

I put a single question:

"Guess what recent thriller film I'm off to see in my main profile photo?"

It seems to have got some good replies, and it's also a check to see if they're actually reading the profile or not.

@GaraMedouar

Thank you so much *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* - I will report back tomorrow evening

@GaraMedouar you're welcome 🙂 looking forward to reading all about it! ❤️

One guy who has liked me on Tinder has a photo of him with his hand between his legs whilst he is in a hospital bed with one leg in a plaster cast.

Dear Readers, I did not match with him...

Well, I've done it. I've joined Hinge. Thank you to @Shayelle and @Dancer for

There's some good looking men on there too. I shall let you all know if I get any results from it. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻❤️

The unfinished bit from my last post should read Thank you to @sheyelle and @Dancer for the recommendation ❤️