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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP has been liking weird videos...

135 replies

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:05

DP has been liking videos of what seems to look like women but with male bits if you know what I mean... could this be a joke? They only have a few hundred likes and he's liked lots of them. I'm starting to wonder hmm... I don't want to confront him but he's one of those that is over the top masculine, could it be a front?

OP posts:
uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:06

Just realised it says weird totally didn't mean it's weird for women to be like that I meant it's weird for him!!

OP posts:
uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:07

Out of character I should say

OP posts:
Wilsonwilson · 12/03/2021 20:11

I very much doubt its a joke

Wilsonwilson · 12/03/2021 20:12

Is he very into porn? Seems like a bit of a progression

Umbivalent · 12/03/2021 20:13

Yeah, that's not a joke. Take a little look at his browsing history...

That must be a big shock for you OP.

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:13

@Wilsonwilson

Is he very into porn? Seems like a bit of a progression
I'm not sure we don't really talk about it. He has watched porn with girls in before though so I always assumed he was straight especially considering I'm a woman...
OP posts:
uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:14

@Umbivalent

Yeah, that's not a joke. Take a little look at his browsing history...

That must be a big shock for you OP.

It is a shock, although I'm not angry, just shocked. We have a baby.
OP posts:
Porridgeoat · 12/03/2021 20:14

Talk to him? Might be his friend?

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:15

@Porridgeoat

Talk to him? Might be his friend?
I will just not sure when's the right time. Definitely not friends there's lots of videos.
OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 12/03/2021 20:17

Depends on context. What type of 'videos', and under what circumstances is he 'liking' them?

Is this an 'in-joke' thing he's doing with his mates, or is he spending time on his own browsing videos and commenting/liking them?

I don't believe it's common for straight men to have any sort of sexual interest in trans people, but it's certainly not unheard of, and it doesn't necessarily mean they are closeted homosexuals.

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:18

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Depends on context. What type of 'videos', and under what circumstances is he 'liking' them?

Is this an 'in-joke' thing he's doing with his mates, or is he spending time on his own browsing videos and commenting/liking them?

I don't believe it's common for straight men to have any sort of sexual interest in trans people, but it's certainly not unheard of, and it doesn't necessarily mean they are closeted homosexuals.

They're masturbating videos. Can't be a joke with any mates because he doesn't have any, I doubt he's laughing to himself now thinking about it. I really don't know how to bring it up to him.
OP posts:
WouldstrokeTomHardy · 12/03/2021 20:19

There was a recent thread that was very similar. Apparently it is a kink for some men.

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:23

Just realised some are men too

OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 12/03/2021 20:23

I really don't know how to bring it up to him

Well if it's making you uncomfortable, perhaps you could broach it from that perspective and make it clear you are after reassurance about something, and not that you are attempting to shame or embarrass him?

Presumably this is something that he believes is still private, and you have found out via internet history or something, rather than him doing it openly in front of you?

Kelly345 · 12/03/2021 20:24

Why didn't you just say he likes chicks with dicks?

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:26

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

I really don't know how to bring it up to him

Well if it's making you uncomfortable, perhaps you could broach it from that perspective and make it clear you are after reassurance about something, and not that you are attempting to shame or embarrass him?

Presumably this is something that he believes is still private, and you have found out via internet history or something, rather than him doing it openly in front of you?

I'll try approach it best as possible but it is a real shock. He had his twitter open on the laptop I'm guessing he forgot to close it.
OP posts:
uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:26

@Kelly345

Why didn't you just say he likes chicks with dicks?
Would have been better.
OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 12/03/2021 20:30

Well then he needs to be a bit more discrete and circumspect with his laptop usage, if nothing else Wink

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:31

I know right haha. Trying to laugh because it doesn't feel real. I shouldn't jump to conclusions though.

OP posts:
Umbivalent · 12/03/2021 20:31

@uhmmm

Just realised some are men too
Sounds like you need to have a conversation with him.

And you need to find out if he's acting out his urges IRL.

uhmmm · 12/03/2021 20:36

You're right. Is it weird that I'm nervous about it? If it's true and he is gay then I've had a baby with someone I never really knew.

OP posts:
CoffeeRunner · 12/03/2021 20:38

So some of the videos are of chicks with dicks masturbating & some are of men masturbating?

If that’s right & I found DH had been viewing & liking similar I would be thinking gay or at least bi/curious.

Whiskeyontherocks · 12/03/2021 20:40

I'm sure we all have some dodgy search history. If my partner quized me on what l like to get myself off to I'd tell him to mind his own business. Why do you need to bring it up at all?, we are all entitled to our personal fantasy

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 12/03/2021 20:44

Well most hetero porn scenes feature penises doing what penises do, and nobody jumps to the conclusion men who watch them must be gay or bi-curious.

I'd suggest the fact that he's described as OTT masculine, lives with a woman, has a child with a woman, points to his hetero sexuality, and that what he's watching on Twitter is a sexual kink for him.

I'm in a relationship with a woman, have had relationships in the past with men, but when I do watch porn I watch hetero stuff because lesbian porn does absolutely nothing for me whatsoever. Nobody suggests that makes me 'straight curious'.

BrilliantBetty · 12/03/2021 20:48

Well. I'd be very suspicious. I wouldn't expect to get a truthful answer if I questioned him, given he hasn't ever mentioned his interest in this.
So I would be looking through his devices to see what is going on.

If you think he would be honest if questioned then no reason to do that.

I would be worried that he had acted on this desire in some further way. We see it all the time "aibu - husband cheated" "aibu escort site" etc etc.

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