DP has been liking weird videos...

[uhmmm]

DP has been liking videos of what seems to look like women but with male bits if you know what I mean... could this be a joke? They only have a few hundred likes and he's liked lots of them. I'm starting to wonder hmm... I don't want to confront him but he's one of those that is over the top masculine, could it be a front?

It sounds like he's either gay/bi/pan and either hasn't accepted it himself, isn't ready to tell you or hasn't even noticed that it's unusual for a 'straight' man to be watching porn like that.

It could be harmless, that he's just seen it and has been interested/wanked to it because porn is porn. Or he's discovering something about himself and isn't sure what's going on.

You can either tell him you'll give him time and if he needs to tell you something he can, or you demand he tells you what's going on and then you decide from there.

I’m a bit baffled as to why it’s described as women with men’s bits rather than men with boob jobs?

Surely that’s the correct way to look at it? Weird.

@RocketHog

I’m a bit baffled as to why it’s described as women with men’s bits rather than men with boob jobs?

Surely that’s the correct way to look at it? Weird.

Agree.

Presumably it's because they want to be seen as that and push those labels.

because porn is porn

Mmm, nah.

You can either tell him you'll give him time and if he needs to tell you something he can

Not saying this man is gay but the above would leave numerous women as a beard for decades.

Its not just the fact he’s a supposedly straight man watching stuff like this, it’s whether you are comfortable at all with any porn going on. Don’t feel obliged to say you are cool with it if you aren’t OP. I certainly wouldn’t be cool about my H watching this and would presume if was doing so frequently and ‘liking’ it that he was at minimum bi— something I would want to know.

I don't use twitter, don't know how it works, so this might be completely irrelevant - if so I apologise!

Is it like Facebook where people can see what you like? So my fb friends get a 'weatherwax liked this post/video/page' do his twitter followers(?) have the ability to see if that he's liked xyz videos? So work colleagues/family/mates?

@RocketHog that’s exactly how I feel about it.

Is it really a big deal though? I mean unless he is straight up gay and op is his beard, what does it matter what he likes to slap himself happy too?

Because it reflects his preferences, turn on's, sexuality, values etc.

Because it affects op's opinion of him.abd feelings towards him. As another poster said,.it's a kink and noone is obliged to accept links they are uncomfortable with or that turn them off..

Women on here are advised to leave if they get the "ick" about s man over a lot less than this. This discovery has given the ol the ick, and j don't think she's unusual in that.

Why do women.alqsys advise other women to subvert their discomfort over sexual things their partner is doing ...
I cannot imagine men saying "so you've found out your wife watches and gives SM likes to trans men (or women dressed & styled as men) having sex with women with either surgically formed genitals or strap ons; what does it matter mate, as you were ..".They would be more likely to say "eh, maybe she needs to estsish her sexuality and see if you're ok with that, why is she interested in/turned on by women who've transitioned to live as men, or who dress and present themselves as men? Etc.".

(establish).

And that would be the most gentle things that would be being said to a man in.this position.

They're all men, OP. Men with boob jobs, and men without boob jobs.

This is a monumental thing to find out in a relationship. I hope you're OK.

@uhmmm

Just realised some are men too

Sorry, meant to quote this.

I guess you're in shock over all this, OP. I know I would be.

I cannot imagine men saying "so you've found out your wife watches and gives SM likes to trans men (or women dressed & styled as men) having sex with women with either surgically formed genitals or strap ons; what does it matter mate, as you were ..".They would be more likely to say "eh, maybe she needs to estsish her sexuality and see if you're ok with that, why is she interested in/turned on by women who've transitioned to live as men, or who dress and present themselves as men? Etc.".

Have you met any men?
As long as they were regularly having sex, the former is exactly what I'd imagine, followed by an inquiry into the potential for threesomes.

Well he left the tab open and was clearly giving them likes. You need to decide where your boundaries are op. You know he was doing it and you know he is now lying and pretending he didn't, and you can't picture ever having sex with him again. So where do you want to go with this now?

You've seen it with your own eyes so how has he not lol. Oh dear OP

As a straight, but open minded male, it's not something I'd have the least bit of interest in watching. Maybe if he'd just watched the odd one, it could be simple curiosity for him. But to watch loads of it, and tag it with 'likes' as well, that suggests he's quite an interest in this stuff. It's either turning him on (which, again is a not something I could imagine personally), or he's watching it for research purposes. The 'ott masculine' also suggests he's trying to mask some inner feelings that he's not quite comfortable with too.
And he's very obviously lying about it when you've confronted him. May be just out and out embarrassment, but more likely to be more to it I suspect. Just tell him you know what you saw, and you need him to talk to you about it. But give him some time to open up to you.

If aside he has a porn issue OP. When someone watches so much porn they become desensitised to it and look for more extreme versions to get their “hit”. Talk to him. He will deny, pass blame, play dumb. Probably embarrassed. But he has porn issues.

As a straight woman that only really watches lesbian porn I can confirm that this doesn’t mean he’s gay..

Why don’t people just out right ask? “Is this just something you’re into or is it something more? - how do you feel about pegging?”

I agree it doesn't nescesarily mean he is gay, when straight males are watching hetrosexual porn how do we know their gaze is not firmly on the male of the couple.

We have no idea what people are thinking, but I do know for women it is generally a massive turn off to a woman to think her male partner is attracted to other males. Politically correct or not.

It does not seem to be the case with women with women, most men I've found do not mind that, or that their female partner likes it.
You have said, it has pretty much turned you off sexually so really theres not much to be done about that as it is firmly in your thoughts.

Does he have Linkedin, as I believe Twitter and Linkedin are linked in some way.
ie: if he has this through work, some buisness/employers can access Twitter accounts through Linkedin.
Could be potentially embarrasing for him, enough to warn him even.
Apparently Twitter allows quite graphic porn, unlike Instagram and Facebook.

I do hope you find the truth of the situation.

Oh op my ex was doing the same, I found he'd been watching chicks with dicks porn. And he said it was curiosity. He was the most amazing boyfriend ever little gifts thoughtful.texts....then one day he was driving and he got a text and asked me.to read it cause he was waiting for a work text and it was a message confirming the time for his visit and signed off with her name (a pornstar name)and kisses. there were several of these messages...turns out he had been visiting a transgender prostitute and each time he'd been buying me a fancy gift was corresponding to him.visiting this prostitute...trying to ease his conscience.

I actually think he was full.on gay but so many of his family were homophobic especially his dad that he couldn't accept his.sexuality and probably felt it was easier if the other person identified as a female but with a cock. I actually felt quiet sorry for him because he really wanted kids and a wife that he pretended to be something he wasn't...we broke up and I really thought he was going to be true to himself...nope he now has a girlfriend and 2 kids, I feel bad for the girlfriend because she has another child from a different relationship so she must've felt all her Christmas's had come at once he really did put up the act of the perfect boyfriend...the kicker was she used to tag him.on fb with pictures of the gifts he'd randomly bought her and I used to just wince because I knew what that meant.

An ex of mine watched some of that porn too along with heterosexual porn. I did wonder about his sexuality but he has always had straight relationships and isn't at all homophobic.

I know a lot of women here admit to enjoying porn with just women in it. I can't see the attraction myself.

But maybe porn is just like fantasies, stuff you wouldn't want in real life?

Anyway, it would make me a bit wary but I wouldn't think too deeply into it.

As a straight woman that only really watches lesbian porn I can confirm that this doesn’t mean he’s gay..

You can't confirm anything about his sexuality - your sexuality is yours, his is his. Yours has no relation to his.

The only person who can confirm anything about his sexuality is him, if he chooses to be honest with himself and his partner of course.

Incidentally I've read that studies suggest women respond to much wider, more general range of sexual stimuli (in terms of porn/images) than men on average; while men tend to be more set in "grooves" as to what images/porn they are aroused by. So you also simply cannot compare male and female sexuality like that either.

When someone watches so much porn they become desensitised to it and look for more extreme versions to get their “hit”. Talk to him. He will deny, pass blame, play dumb. Probably embarrassed. But he has porn issues.

Men who watch hetero porn, if they develop a porn addiction, generally excavate the volume, frequency, extremity (still hetero porn), and sometimes add camming etc.

It's not necessarily the case at all that they "escalate" to gay or transexual porn.

*while men tend to be more set in "grooves" as to what images/porn they are aroused by.

I should make it clear that the "grooves" were aligned with their sexuality.

I really thought he was going to be true to himself...nope he now has a girlfriend and 2 kids

There have been numerous women on here in this situation, and their mental health is wrecked by men like him and their lying and gas lighting.

(Those men are also risking their sexual health if they have sexual contact trans prostitutes (or civvies) and other men off hookup sites etc.).

I know men who've come out in spite of the negative reactions of family etc. Takes a particular type of person to do the above to another person.