DP has been liking weird videos...

[uhmmm]

DP has been liking videos of what seems to look like women but with male bits if you know what I mean... could this be a joke? They only have a few hundred likes and he's liked lots of them. I'm starting to wonder hmm... I don't want to confront him but he's one of those that is over the top masculine, could it be a front?

Have you ever wondered why the money shot is so important in a porno??
Why are anal cum shots and anal cream pies so popular in heterosexual porn?? That’s just cock and anus’.

@DedlyMedally

I cannot imagine men saying "so you've found out your wife watches and gives SM likes to trans men (or women dressed & styled as men) having sex with women with either surgically formed genitals or strap ons; what does it matter mate, as you were ..".They would be more likely to say "eh, maybe she needs to estsish her sexuality and see if you're ok with that, why is she interested in/turned on by women who've transitioned to live as men, or who dress and present themselves as men? Etc.".

Have you met any men?
As long as they were regularly having sex, the former is exactly what I'd imagine, followed by an inquiry into the potential for threesomes.

I don't think you've read or understood my post.

Most heterosexual men would not want to have threesomes with a trans man.

This is not other women we're referring to. This is biological women who've possibly has sex change operations & hormones to have body hair, stubble, a penis they form an erection with by using a pump installed in a formed scrotum, who wear male clothes - and who want yo have sex with women "as a man".

That is the equivalent of a trans woman.

Do you not get this?

We're not talking about lipstick lesbianism and threesomes which centre men.

Back on the main topic, when a men who identifies as hetero and is in a hetero relationship and who can watch millions of videos of women having sex, the fact that they'd go out of their way to find and watch videos of trans women or transvestites (aka men) with intact male genitals having sex; is significant.

One has to wonder about their sexuality.

Incidentally, the fact that he actually liked the videos on SM is significant to me ...
Because liking videos opens up the possibility for responses/interaction. If someone didn't want any interaction with the products or subjects in an image of video, the last thing they'd do is like it with their SM profile. It invites a response, if the maker/subject is do inclined. They now know that user enjoys their content, they have their profile to communicate with and may feel communication would be welcome. That's the extra bit that makes me really wonder about op's partner.

*producers

@MarshmallowAra
I think most men would not be particularly perturbed by their partner watching porn with transmen (if it had no impact on their sex life).
That is what you were talking about.

On the threesome point, I think men might surprise you if you asked them.

[quote DedlyMedally]@MarshmallowAra
I think most men would not be particularly perturbed by their partner watching porn with transmen (if it had no impact on their sex life).
That is what you were talking about.

On the threesome point, I think men might surprise you if you asked them.[/quote]
I think you're wrong on both points.

Some men have a fantasy about lesbian/bi women ...and might be open to threesomes with two women with female genitals and presenting as women.

That's very different from their partner being sexually aroused by trans men, and the idea of a threesome with a trans man.

You're just jumping at the old cliche "most men would love a bi partner and would jump at this chance of a threesome!".

That's not the (reverse) situation I've outlined.

Oh and btw I know men who've found out their partner was a lesbian - they weren't delighted and suggesting threesomes; they were shocked, perturbed and wouldn't have had much of a chance to suggest threesomes given they were left for another woman quite quickly.

In any case the exact reverse of ops situation is a woman being aroused by trans men having sex.

I think you're missing the point.
The thread is about a man who watches porn involving transwomen. The fear seems to be that he is gay or might be having sex with transwomen in the side.
From my experience with men, provided their partner is not an obvious lesbian (i.e. clearly not enjoying having sex with their male partner), they would not care if their partner watched lesbian porn habitually, let alone as a one off.
I don't have much experience with the transman aspect, but I doubt a man who is unconcerned about lesbian porn that his partner watches would suddenly become concerned when it involves transmen instead of women.
Men seem to be much more accepting of their partner also being aroused by homosexual acts than women are.

but I doubt a man who is unconcerned about lesbian porn that his partner watches would suddenly become concerned when it involves transmen instead of women.

Couldn't agree.

In any case - on the simple lesbian porn (which doesn't really apply because ops DH is not watching simple gay porn bit fir the sake of argument ...) I think the man might be paying a bit more attention if his wife were liking lesbian vids on social media.

You seem to have v cliched, v shallow views on mens feelings in monogamous relationships.

You remind me of an ex work colleague who said all attached men would happily jump.ar the chance of a threesome with two women; I asked my partner if he would and he answered "I'd think something was seriously fkg wrong with our relationship if you wanted me to have a threesome with you and another woman". I'm sure you'll think he's in a vast minority; I wouldn't be so sure.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree

@DedlyMedally @MarshmallowAra

I think Dedly is from Mars and Marshmallow is from Venus

He swore on mine and the babys life that he didn't masturbate over it but can't tell me why he liked it... I feel sick

You’ve probably embarrassed him; but I feel like watching transsexual porn isn’t a big deal.

Women tend to watch the women in prom more than the men; this is because we know what it feel like to be touched on our bodies. But we can’t possibly know what it feels like for men; so my conclusion would be; the person had a pretty face as your DP is attracted to women, but they also had a penis which he knows what it feels like to be touched and porn is partly about using your imagination in how things feel for those people.

In other words; your DH had the best of both worlds in that video. It doesn’t mean anything. People have little turns one and that’s ok.

I don’t feel like it’s fair to shame someone on their turn ons. Sex is different to everyone and porn is not an emotional relationship.

@LifesLittleDeciders

You’ve probably embarrassed him; but I feel like watching transsexual porn isn’t a big deal.

Women tend to watch the women in prom more than the men; this is because we know what it feel like to be touched on our bodies. But we can’t possibly know what it feels like for men; so my conclusion would be; the person had a pretty face as your DP is attracted to women, but they also had a penis which he knows what it feels like to be touched and porn is partly about using your imagination in how things feel for those people.

In other words; your DH had the best of both worlds in that video. It doesn’t mean anything. People have little turns one and that’s ok.

I don’t feel like it’s fair to shame someone on their turn ons. Sex is different to everyone and porn is not an emotional relationship.

Thank you for your input you've made me see both sides

@uhmmm

He swore on mine and the babys life that he didn't masturbate over it but can't tell me why he liked it... I feel sick

Swearing on people's lives in children is generally not a good sign.

As many women who've experienced infidelity etc on here have stated.

It indicates an extremity and desperation that is not in line with calm truth.

His inability to explain why he likes those vids - you said he watched and liked lots of them .... Is disingenuous. It's not an inability really, it's that he can't say what he feels because he knows it would most likely end your relationship.

The post above is bullshit imo by the way.

I know it makes you feel better because you can stay and don't have to break up your relationship & family in its current form but I actually think it's irresponsible. I'd worry what else your h has done and will do. He clearly has a fetish for transsexuals.

the person had a pretty face as your DP is attracted to women, but they also had a penis which he knows what it feels like to be touched and porn is partly about using your imagination in how things feel for those people.

Mate, heterosexual men fantasise about their penis being touched by, sucked and put in women (and they know what that feels like) ... Not in men with implants.

as your DP is attracted to women

People who are attracted to solely women - generally don't get off on men with a penis and testicles,no matter how much slap or lingerie they have on.

As I said above, I actually find the liking of the videos on social media even more significant than just watching transexual porn ... Because it invites/opens communication with the producers/uploaders of the video and other watchers.

Op, this is a shit situation and I would fully understand why you'd want to think it's a harness fetish a d carry on.

If you do so, the only thing I'd is to - when the incident has passed and he's no longer on alert - monitor your he's activities pine and elsewhere.

The idea of this will outrage many posters who are very anti snooping. They ignore the fact that snooping esp when you are uncomfortable with something has saved dozens of women in here from unfaithful marriages, from being beards, from prostitute users etc.

It may be v difficult now that he'll be careful about his activities but I'd do it and see what else turns up.

This is very strange behaviour indeed for a heterosexual husband and father.

Sorry about the typos.

Completely agree with every word @Marshmallow says.

Also, the pretty face senerio upthread is actually hilarious. Hetro men do NOT get off on men with breast implants. It repulses many hetro men. To be honest I've looked for research purposes and it's disturbing to think a so called hetro father and dp would get off on it.

This is a massive discovery OP. I don't understand why so many seem to be trivialising it.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. It sounds like you need some resolution/answers as to his reasons and you’ll need to persevere. Obviously if he keeps shutting you down, you’ll have to consider other options. Maybe give him a day to get his thoughts together and schedule time for a conversation? It won’t be easy but it might help clear the air?

I think I'd be quite devastated.

You're feeling vulnerable and have gone through some big life changes having a baby.

I think you need to push him here......... sorry. I'd want the truth.

Also, the pretty face senerio upthread is actually hilarious.

Yeah Ive still got a wtf expression ... He gets the best of both because the man has a pretty face and a dick .. and he's attracted to the pretty face and he knows what having a dick feels like ....

But a man in heterosexual porn had a dick - that he is having stimulated (hand, oral, penetrative sex, whatever) and he knows what that feels like .. and the female actor usually has a pretty face .. and is actually female.

The main reason hetero men are attracted to and aroused by women is that they don't have dicks & testicles, you know?