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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At the end of my rope with DP's disgusting habits..

183 replies

ivehadenough11 · 14/09/2020 19:58

I'm not sure why I'm posting. I hope people don't think this is a joke, I feel stupid but I've reached the end of my tether with DP's farting and burping....! Ok I might occasionally burp, I cover my mouth if I do.. I don't fart to be honest! I don't know why, I probably do during the night or something but I don't register it when I do.
He literally farts most of the day. It's loud, it's annoying, obviously smells obnoxious and I can't help but find it disgusting. He does it while we are both eating and doesn't apologise. Does it in bed next to me, straight after sex 😕 before sex..!
A few weeks ago he visited the GP for something unrelated and I asked him if he was going to mention the farting, as it could be IBS. He said no and I asked why, he said he "likes farting". I can't seem to make him understand that it's driving me up the wall and I find it incredibly rude. It puts me off sex and I now find sex repulsive mainly because of the habits he has.
I'm not a prude and I can take a joke. But am I being ridiculous and unreasonable for finding this gross?? I'm looking for opinions..
Sorry this sounds ridiculous
Thanks

OP posts:
MadameMeursault · 15/09/2020 00:11

He has no respect for you OP. He sounds vile. Why would you stay?

TitsOutForHarambe · 15/09/2020 00:15

This isn't about the farting. It's about the fact that you have raised an issue with him and he doesn't care. He hasn't acknowledged that you are negatively affected by this. Your partner is supposed to care when you tell them that they are doing something that bothers you.

And you say if you asked him to leave the room he would probably get annoyed or refuse? How are you supposed to be in a relationship with someone so inconsiderate and stubborn?

SoulofanAggron · 15/09/2020 00:26

Maybe being single is alright

@wildcherries I've no complaints. Smile

To those saying they're happy with their OH's farts, I suppose it would depend on the frequency, and the intensity of the fragrance.

Everyone has their limits. I have a very poor sense of smell, but being nose level/near enough to feel the velocity of the fart was more than enough for me. Grin

CoolYourBeansMySon · 15/09/2020 00:50

My ex was very proud of his farts and smelly shits. When we broke up and I was doing some self-therapy I read an article that said that these are territorial signs. It's a deliberate show of lack of respect. Get rid OP you can do so much better.

TheVanguardSix · 15/09/2020 00:56

There's something wrong with men like him. I couldn't/wouldn't deal with this at all.

Italiangreyhound · 15/09/2020 01:23

ivehadenough11this sounds so hard.

I'm so sorry,

"...I''m viewing a flat next week (I'm not sure I'll actually take it, I'm just having a look) so we'll see." Be open, can you afford it, do you work, I'd look for something that will be a good location for you to meet new people and make new friends because you said you were lonely. I wonder if being with such a pig of a man has exacerbated your loneliness.

"Its not just the habits, it's other things. Terrible sex mostly. And the fact that I don't want sex with him. I'm really craving sex with someone I fancy - I know that's awful"

It's not awful. What is awful is that this man is treating you so badly.

XXXXXX Thanks

I need to be brave

DaddyCool60 · 15/09/2020 01:24

Get the holy fuck out. He's a man-child. As a man myself, I can safely say the more enlightened among us blokes also despise these juvenile cave-men type morons. And no, they don't change, that's him for all time. He's displaying the fact he has the brain of a hamster, the humour of a three-year-old and has absolutely no respect for you. Be thankful you're not married and even more so that you have no kids. You deserve better.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 15/09/2020 01:51

God there are some minging people on this thread. There is nothing wrong with the odd fart slipping out, but asking to do it when giving oral? Fucking hell! That has actually shocked me, as has holding arse cheeks open, and farting in your face. I'm so glad I'm not married to a fifteen year old boy. I'd rather be single than put up with that! Please OP, just get the hell out from this gross specimen, there are better men out there, non-repulsive ones.

1forAll74 · 15/09/2020 02:37

It's best to leave sir Fart a lot, especially as he finds it a pleasurable pastime, and does not care about what you think of his smelly ways. If he drinks a lot of beer at night, that can cause a shit load of farts all the time.

MrsPworkingmummy · 15/09/2020 03:00

Yuck OP, that would put me off too. Utterly disgusting. I bet he stinks! I've been with DH 12 years and we still don't fart/burp in front of one another. I want to be his sexy wife, not a goofy room mate.

RaisinGhost · 15/09/2020 03:32

This is so repulsive! I actually think it's not about the farts though. You said the relationship has other problems too, and I think you've gone off him. Once you've gone off someone, these types of habits go from unnoticed/eye roll to unbearable.

Slightly different but I once had a bf and the relationship started to go downhill. I noticed that he constantly sniffed. The sound drove me bonkers and filled me rage. He couldn't understand as he said he'd always done it. I guess it hadn't bothered me before.

CodenameVillanelle · 15/09/2020 05:54

@Time40

Me and my partner fart and burp in front of each other, leave the bathroom door wide open, go to the toilet while the other is brushing their teeth I thought that was what most people do

Errr, no. No, it's really not.

Couples like this are utterly boakworthy. No it's not what most people do. Grim.
FlapsInTheWind · 15/09/2020 05:55

RaisinGhost is right. It's not about the farting any more.

You have the ick OP. There is no way back from the ick.

If you don't jump, you can't land.

CodenameVillanelle · 15/09/2020 05:55

@CoolYourBeansMySon

My ex was very proud of his farts and smelly shits. When we broke up and I was doing some self-therapy I read an article that said that these are territorial signs. It's a deliberate show of lack of respect. Get rid OP you can do so much better.
Exactly. Like the poor woman whose horrible partner liked to fart while she was sucking his dick. It's pure dominance. Leaving their shitty stink in the air to show who's boss.
SunshineCake · 15/09/2020 06:54

@Bananalanacake

How about dating him but not living with him (if you want to).
Why?? Hmm
SunshineCake · 15/09/2020 06:58

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1

God there are some minging people on this thread. There is nothing wrong with the odd fart slipping out, but asking to do it when giving oral? Fucking hell! That has actually shocked me, as has holding arse cheeks open, and farting in your face. I'm so glad I'm not married to a fifteen year old boy. I'd rather be single than put up with that! Please OP, just get the hell out from this gross specimen, there are better men out there, non-repulsive ones.
Don't start with the implying 15 year old boys behave like this. My boys are 15 and 19 and both know not to behave like this.
alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 15/09/2020 08:10

SunshineCake, of course I'm not saying not all teenage boys behave like that, I've got one myself and I wouldn't tolerate this behaviour for a moment! But some do behave like this, and clearly they never grow up. And some women marry them! Takes all sorts.

FlapsInTheWind · 15/09/2020 09:25

I too am a bit - What did I just read?

If I said to my DH that something he does turns me up, he would stop immediately and vice versa.

LTB

TheFormidableMrsC · 15/09/2020 10:53

No. None of this is ok. My ex-h used to do stuff like this. Lifting his leg up too when letting rip. He also used to wait until I got in the bath and then come in for a dump despite having two other toilets in the house. It's just disrespectful, rude, uncouth. I'd run like the wind. No pun intended Wink

WildfirePonie · 15/09/2020 11:30

@NellyJames I actually gagged reading that. Gross!

HoldUpALightFprMe · 15/09/2020 17:14

@CodenameVillanelle I don't understand why its so bad. We are both comfortable enough around each other to burp or fart, I think after 10 years together if I wasn't comfortable enough to fart in front of him I would be second guessing my relationship!

If your not fully comfortable farting in front of your DH/DP after a number of years then I would think there was something wrong with the whole relationship.

My DP even farts and burps in front of my family Shock shock horror!

CodenameVillanelle · 15/09/2020 17:19

[quote HoldUpALightFprMe]@CodenameVillanelle I don't understand why its so bad. We are both comfortable enough around each other to burp or fart, I think after 10 years together if I wasn't comfortable enough to fart in front of him I would be second guessing my relationship!

If your not fully comfortable farting in front of your DH/DP after a number of years then I would think there was something wrong with the whole relationship.

My DP even farts and burps in front of my family Shock shock horror! [/quote]
Farting and burping is gross but shitting with the door open is the worst. Just why??

Barryisland · 15/09/2020 17:32

Why are you having sex with someone you are planning on leaving?

TorkTorkBam · 15/09/2020 17:39

Of course you don't have a support network. How do you make friends when coming to your house or going out with him in a group would be so disgusting?

I'd not want to make friends with a woman who gets off on that in a man. NB: if you are with him then it is totally reasonable for other people to assume you find his behaviour not just acceptable but desirable. If you told me you hate it but then continued to tolerate it, again I'd be thinking we aren't going to get along well.

Leave. Build support network, aka get more and better friends.

HoldUpALightFprMe · 15/09/2020 17:53

@CodenameVillanelle it's just something we are comfortable with. After all these years he's seen me do a lot worse than sat on the toilet!

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