At the end of my rope with DP's disgusting habits..

[ivehadenough11]

I'm not sure why I'm posting. I hope people don't think this is a joke, I feel stupid but I've reached the end of my tether with DP's farting and burping....! Ok I might occasionally burp, I cover my mouth if I do.. I don't fart to be honest! I don't know why, I probably do during the night or something but I don't register it when I do.
He literally farts most of the day. It's loud, it's annoying, obviously smells obnoxious and I can't help but find it disgusting. He does it while we are both eating and doesn't apologise. Does it in bed next to me, straight after sex 😕 before sex..!
A few weeks ago he visited the GP for something unrelated and I asked him if he was going to mention the farting, as it could be IBS. He said no and I asked why, he said he "likes farting". I can't seem to make him understand that it's driving me up the wall and I find it incredibly rude. It puts me off sex and I now find sex repulsive mainly because of the habits he has.
I'm not a prude and I can take a joke. But am I being ridiculous and unreasonable for finding this gross?? I'm looking for opinions..
Sorry this sounds ridiculous
Thanks

Only a desperate woman would stay with these men.

They have zero respect for themselves, were clearly raised in the gutter, and know no better.

There are plenty of men who don't behave in such an uncouth manner and have self respect.

OP, move on and leave this vile douche to his filth.

Even if you don't realise it, you deserve better.

"Why are you having sex with someone you are planning on leaving?" - because the atmosphere would be awful if I refused, he'd sulk. He also doesn't leave me alone if he wants sex, if it's in the morning he'll wake me up, even if it's 6am on a weekend morning. He touches and strokes me until I give in. Sorry, this sounds so sad

I can tell myself I deserve better but I don't feel it, I don't truly know it (yet)

I can't broach the subject of leaving just yet but I will once I know I have somewhere to go. God it's so scary

It is a cry but you can’t stay with someone that’s a sex pest. You deserve better.

It’s scary. (Stupid autocorrect)!

It doesn't sound sad, it sounds horrific. You're being coerced into sex - that's abusive. It makes it a non-consensual act when your alternative is being bullied, guilted, stropped at and nagged until you give in.

How quickly can you be out of sex pest hell?

I feel slightly ill thinking about being with someone like this :( I definitely agree with the territorial aspect. When I was dating my ex before we came official he used to let out silent but utterly violent ones in the restaurant or cinema.. My god.. I just thought wtf is that. When we got together almost immediately the volume cranked up. They were utterly vile, rank and horrific. I would never stand for this behaviour ever again. Its one thing if it slips out by accident when you're either laughing or sneezing.. But to deliberately break wind so loudly and he used to really exaggerate pushing it out and sometimes even lifted his leg up.. No. No.. No... No.

I'm going to look at two flats next week, so all being well I could probably leave by mid October. I don't know what to do, I can't bear telling him. I know I can do it, I'm just very scared.
I wasn't going to mention the sex thing but it's so awful and has probably contributed to my poor self esteem over the years.

Where the heck do all these farting men come from? I thought it was just him, I'm surprised there are more.

I wouldn't even tell him tbh. Just go. He's shown you no respect. So why should you show him any.

Tell him AFTER you leave. Move into the new place secretly then tell him.

It is so heart wrenching, you are being sexually abused regularly and you felt you could only complain about him farting not the sex attacks.

Can you get a place sooner as a lodger or in an Airbnb or something until your flat is free?

"Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens after being pressured in nonphysical ways that include:

Being worn down by someone who repeatedly asks for sex
[...]
In a healthy relationship, you never have to have sexual contact when you don’t want to. Sexual contact without your consent is assault. Sexual coercion means feeling forced to have sexual contact with someone."

Leave him a note! He sounds awful, more the sex thing than the bad wind (though it’s disgusting). You owe him nothing, leave him & his farty butt to fend for themselves! xx

OP, out there in the future is a life without being slimed over until you relent to horrible sex with a man who burps and farts at you. Clean air, clean sheets, sleep when you want to and no horrible touching and pestering. And once you're in that life, if it doesn't sound appealing enough, you'll be free for the possibility of meeting an attractive and sexy man with whom sex would be enjoyable. How have you been conditioned to think that's a terrible thing to want?

Love, you don't need to have a big conversation with the guy.

Just find yourself somewhere to live, pack up and go, leave him a "Dear John" letter.

Leave. Ex did this. Not all throughout relationship but def when he was no longer interested. He enjoyed seeing me uncomfortable. Million other instances of awful behaviour but this made me feel so weird. He was basically goading me. No kids? Not married? Leave. His behaviour is symptomatic of his character.
I know people who are windy but there’s a difference when someone is being a dick about it.

Be brave and leave, you're worth more than that and life's too short to stay with a disgusting pig like that.

because the atmosphere would be awful if I refused, he'd sulk. He also doesn't leave me alone if he wants sex, if it's in the morning he'll wake me up, even if it's 6am on a weekend morning. He touches and strokes me until I give in. Sorry, this sounds so sad

As a PP said- it's not sad. It's horrific. This is sexual coercion and assault, if not worse.

I can tell myself I deserve better but I don't feel it, I don't truly know it (yet)

I think if you talked to someone if you could find a way, keep going on MN and also find professionals to talk to, it'd help. We are all saying it's not ok. Even those with a higher smell tolerance must see that the sex stuff without your consent is completely wrong. We all know and are saying that you deserve better. xxxxx

Stop having sex - tell him you've got a urinary tract infection.

Get the house asap.

Pack and leave while he is at work.

Block him on everything.

FGS some posters on here need to raise their own bars.

No need to leave this twat a fucking note. Just go. . B & B?

I've been married over 25 years. We never fart in front of each other as I find it disgusting and disrespectful.

As for people saying they can't help it, that's rubbish. You wouldn't fart in the middle of an interview!!!

Don't have a conversation with him about it OP. Just leave. Get your mail changed to your new address. Get all your ducks in a row and go. He will know why and if he doesn't he's as thick as he is vile.

The farting is a red herring. The sexual and emotional abuse is the main issue. Farting is a sign of his total disrespect for you but you can't live with someone who coerces you into sex. Please leave him!

Are you with my ex? lol. Sounds grim, makes you lose respect for someone when they gross you out like that and don't seem to care that they're doing it.