Is this a penis beaker??????

[Thereturnofthepenisbeaker]

This is in DP’s bedside drawer! We live in our own separate houses, but I stay over there twice a week. Went to get my hairdryer out his drawer and opened the wrong one by mistake, and there it was. The rest of his drawers (like his house) are neat and tidy with no crap in them, so cannot see why on earth it’s in there. and no, I haven’t asked him. Yet.
It’s a water bottle cut in half with silicone round the top. I’ve popped a vape pen in to give you an idea of size. It also some very very short hairs on the silicone.
He has ED issues and told me spends most nights when I’m not there choking the chicken. Is this some sort of cock ring? Or penis beaker?

Bloody hell 😟

He told you he spends every night wanking when you're not there? And then can't get it up when you are?

He needs to sort his priorities out, ffs! Maybe if he laid off the furtive tugging to porn he might actually be able to have nice, mutually satisfying sex with his partner. Selfish twat.

OP sounds like the best thing you've got out of this relationship is this mumsnet thread!

If he's posting dick pics on dating sites and you're struggling with the lack of sex just dump him if you haven't already.

He sounds like a right weird tosser...in more ways than one 😂.

I've had to explain to DH what I'm laughing at.
He has a couple of questions...

1. How exactly does that work?
2. How much silicone will he need?
3. Would a 2 litre lemonade bottle do the job?

Feminist10101 thank you, I was baffled as to why his eating disorder issues were relevant 😄

Sailors worm jar..... (not envy)

I hope that was his vaping device you put in there, and not yours!

I searched for the "sailors worm jar." I thought I'd heard everything. I thought I was unshockable. Why oh why oh why would anyone even consider dipping their cock into a jar of writhing worms???? What an invention! 🤮

I feel sorry for the company who actually sell Dragon Butter.
And I mean the churned milk type, not the other. I should not have Googled that 🤣

Has he decorated the outside of the bottle ?

I vote swap it with a much bigger one, let him think he has shrunk

Still, I suppose it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase DIY...

Blue Peter vag

@MurderousChicken

Good lord. On the one hand I sort of grudgingly admire his diy ingenuity. On the other hand 🤢

Choking the chicken! Never heard that expression before - I guessed... maybe incorrectly although it causes ED say some! Strange.
What's a flesh light?

Never met a man that didn't either of these things.

@achillesratty

I am the odd one out here. I don't find anything amusing about going into your partner's house, going through their draws, photographing their personal possessions and then posting it on a public forum to ridiucule them.

I can only imagine the response if a man came into his partner's home took a picture of a dildo he found in her drawer and then posted it to petrolheads/pistonheads/dickheads. There would be uproar and rightly so.

This may be an anonymous forum but this is a gross invasion of his privacy. I hope he LTB.

Oh get over yourself

FFS - you are so out of line. Stop invading his privacy - whatever it is, put your salacious glee away and leave it alone, its actually none of your business. People are allowed to do and have things in private that are not held up for public inspection and ridicule and you have no right to be in his business like this. Its nothing to do with you.

I googled sailors worm jar and found a school instruction for making a jar to keep worms in! Filters are a good thing!

What's LTB?

What’s a flesh light ?

he must have some girth on his cock to get any grip from that!

Respect to the man, no sense in judging a guy and getting holier than thou. How many of you women have rampant rabbits and 10 inch cock monster dildos in your bedside draws or what ever penis substitute you care to use. No one questions that!

I can only imagine the response if a man came into his partner's home took a picture of a dildo he found in her drawer and then posted it to petrolheads/pistonheads/dickheads. There would be uproar and rightly so

I agree, though obviously we are a very small minority on here. There is something very unpleasant about this thread. The OP sounds like she despises this man. Well, don't date him then.

If you're close enough to him to be in his house without him, you're too close to be humiliating him on the internet.

LTB is leave the bastard (but used for either sex partner I believe).

Can’t help you with flesh light. I am clearly too innocent.

What a winner!
Impotent and a cheapskate!

A fleshlight is a kind of fake vagina cylinder sex toy thing.
With a light on the end, presumably.

@Oldraver

Has he decorated the outside of the bottle ?

I vote swap it with a much bigger one, let him think he has shrunk

Oh please please please do this