Is this a penis beaker??????

[Thereturnofthepenisbeaker]

This is in DP’s bedside drawer! We live in our own separate houses, but I stay over there twice a week. Went to get my hairdryer out his drawer and opened the wrong one by mistake, and there it was. The rest of his drawers (like his house) are neat and tidy with no crap in them, so cannot see why on earth it’s in there. and no, I haven’t asked him. Yet.
It’s a water bottle cut in half with silicone round the top. I’ve popped a vape pen in to give you an idea of size. It also some very very short hairs on the silicone.
He has ED issues and told me spends most nights when I’m not there choking the chicken. Is this some sort of cock ring? Or penis beaker?

My husband has just said 'poor chap, he's clearly a frustrated engineer' 😬

@FippertyGibbett

I feel sorry for the company who actually sell Dragon Butter. And I mean the churned milk type, not the other. I should not have Googled that 🤣

I have had to google so many things from this thread. Everyday is a school day

@Bishybarnybee

I can only imagine the response if a man came into his partner's home took a picture of a dildo he found in her drawer and then posted it to petrolheads/pistonheads/dickheads. There would be uproar and rightly so

I agree, though obviously we are a very small minority on here. There is something very unpleasant about this thread. The OP sounds like she despises this man. Well, don't date him then.

If you're close enough to him to be in his house without him, you're too close to be humiliating him on the internet.

She isn't humiliating him because no-one has the faintest idea who he is. And presumably you missed the OP's remarks about his naked photos on dating sites.

Looking more closely at his ...erm contraption, does he get much work? He's not very neat with a silicone gun

FFS - you are so out of line. Stop invading his privacy - whatever it is, put your salacious glee away and leave it alone

Salacious Glee should be the name of the thing

A man who liberally sprinkles his elicit dating profiles with dick pics probably isn't going to be that arsed about how homemade Sally being posted anonymously on a forum

He's not very neat with a silicone gun

Well, his hands would be shaking with anticipation.

@Moonmelodies,

It's shaped like a flashlight (torch), hence, the name. (Don't ask me how I know this!)

I'm shocked at the comparison with a homemade "Blue Peter vag" to vibrators and dildos that can be purchased, some of which cost a fortune. Not quite the same! 😆

I hope he hasn't got any allergies. That silicone could bring him out in penile hives.

@firecracker69

I hope he hasn't got any allergies. That silicone could bring him out in penile hives.

I just burst out laughing at that

Why are you with him and calling him your 'DP' if he is on dating sites?

If it is what I think it is (like most of the other posters on her)e I hope you're not going to be using the vape pen again...

Just checked on lovehoney and you can get fleshlights from £40-70 - maybe you could buy him one? They have ones that help build up stamina which could ease his ED?

I've also just seen that there are shower wall mounts for fleshlights. Grim ideas now running through my mind🤭!

This thread is great. It has opened my eyes to a whole new world!

I am laughing at all the posters saying throw away the vape. I am sure a huge amount of us have a mouthful straight from the source so to speak. I am sure a rinse and it will be fine.

@FunorFitness I’m absolutely howling 😂😂😂😂

Blue Peter Vag
Definitely something Anthea Turner would have made

What's a fleshlight? Scared to google

"I've also just seen that there are shower wall mounts for fleshlights"

How do they even get the angle right to get a good rhythm? Knees digging in to the hard tiles, belly slapping on the wall 🧐

Surely that's more faff and pain than it's worth?

When I read ‘do not google’ I wish I had the willpower to not actually google!

Some days my google history reads like a pervert’s dictionary.

Bishybarnybee

And not because you are a man - the following question could be if you were a woman too.

• You are in a relationship with someone for some unknown time of more than 2 years

• you dont live together but one of you goes to the others 2 nights per week

• In the last 2 years you find your female partner's libido has diminshed noticeable making you feel frustrated - either she does not want it or if she does she goes off the idea half way through the act, says she cannot carry on, disappears to the bathroom etc leaving you frustrated and unsatisfied

• one day you are looking for your toothbrush or something in her bedside table and you are very curious to find a whole little (or should I say range from little to rather large) cucumbers in her bedside table , many have condoms on them and some of the condoms have lipstick on them.

• shocked, you go to the bathroom and you are bewildered to notice one of the Cucumis sativus stashed complete with condom behind the cistern of the toilet.

Is your response:

(a) My partner loves the veg isle of Tescos more than she loves me and that is ok; she is creative, saves money buy not breeding rabbits in her bedside table; and I dont mind that for the last two years she appears to routinely get off on the green phallus family much more than she wants to with me;.....OR

(2) OMG - I am a BAD person; I should never have opened her bedside cupboard I should not be "prying" in my partners house everyone is entitled to their privacy...

PS - later you discover some photos which are unmistakably of your partner topless giving one of her little green fellows some affection posted to a few other guys on the internet.

The answer is (b) isnt it???

Hands up, who else has just Googled this??

🙋🏼‍♀️

This is the least funny thread ever

Lol @Bubblebu.

I am the odd one out here. I don't find anything amusing about going into your partner's house, going through their draws, photographing their personal possessions and then posting it on a public forum to ridiucule them

Sorry i also find this thread wrong, if roles were reversed something so personal posted to a site would be humiliating and would gather different responses.
If he has treated you badly ( which clearly he has) leave him. Find someone who teats you how you Deserve to be treated. Don’t put up with this.

I'm surprised this will still here.

@AnyFucker

This is the least funny thread ever

The original PB was a load of shite and so is this one.

If this one ends up in classics, MN has truly lost its way.

I agree, though obviously we are a very small minority on here. There is something very unpleasant about this thread. The OP sounds like she despises this man. Well, don't date him then.

If you're close enough to him to be in his house without him, you're too close to be humiliating him on the internet.
She isn't humiliating him because no-one has the faintest idea who he is. And presumably you missed the OP's remarks about his naked photos on dating sites. ^
^^

Plus he has refused to have sex with her for 2 years claiming ED^