Is this a penis beaker??????

[Thereturnofthepenisbeaker]

This is in DP’s bedside drawer! We live in our own separate houses, but I stay over there twice a week. Went to get my hairdryer out his drawer and opened the wrong one by mistake, and there it was. The rest of his drawers (like his house) are neat and tidy with no crap in them, so cannot see why on earth it’s in there. and no, I haven’t asked him. Yet.
It’s a water bottle cut in half with silicone round the top. I’ve popped a vape pen in to give you an idea of size. It also some very very short hairs on the silicone.
He has ED issues and told me spends most nights when I’m not there choking the chicken. Is this some sort of cock ring? Or penis beaker?

@Soubriquet

I was doing alright till I had to stupidly google sailors worm pot.

Even then I was ok until I read “your protein load will keep the worms fed”

Can you give me a PG13 description so I don't have to Google?

I don’t think there is a PG13 description...

It’s basically a flashlight. With worms in it

@Soubriquet

I was doing alright till I had to stupidly google sailors worm pot.

Even then I was ok until I read “your protein load will keep the worms fed”

Need a link!!

@Soubriquet

I don’t think there is a PG13 description...

It’s basically a flashlight. With worms in it

Eek

To clear up a bit of confusion. It's wide but I'm guessing there is a disposable/washable insert to add to make feel snug 😬. There won't be sharp edges, its silicone not plastic, actual plastic will be covered by said insert. (Knowledge gained from seeing a diy video on Facebook- if i remember rightly it was a flannel and a disposable glove). It does seem rather short though ....

Are you sure @PyongyangKipperbang?
link not for the feint hearted

I have no words (not envy)

Pour some superglue in there Time to move on, you deserve better.

@TimeTruthandHearts

The penis beaker was for rinsing. That looks more like a makeshift fake fanjo.

Apologies if it's his year 5's pen storage homework project.

😂😂😂😂

@rosiethehen

At least it wasn't a sailor's worm jar

Eeeew! any port in a storm!

@ViciousJackdaw

I reckon his peter would go a bit blue if it got stuck in that contraption!

Down Shep! 😂

@BluePeterVag

😂😂😂

Great name change 😂

Brilliant thread!

Sorry if this seems a weird question but if you don't ever have sex with him OP then why aren't you just mates rather than DPs?

I read years ago in an Irvine Welsh novel about a guy who fashioned his own vag out of a melon hollowed out a bit filled with squirty cream - talk about getting your 5 a day! 😂

Pop some pencils or a few daffodils in and leave it on the kitchen window sill.

Apologies if it's his year 5's pen storage homework project.

Ha ha. The things you learn on Mumsnet (and wish you could unlearn!!)

I thought it was chopped liver in a jar that sailors had.

Hence the phrase “what am I, chopped liver?”

Maybe there were a range of types. No I won’t be googling.

Wow, he sounds like a catch.

"Never google sailors worm jar" will become the new "Never google dragon butter"

Gdesdghrdvb jgdddddfccd 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

@achillesratty

I am the odd one out here. I don't find anything amusing about going into your partner's house, going through their draws, photographing their personal possessions and then posting it on a public forum to ridiucule them.

I can only imagine the response if a man came into his partner's home took a picture of a dildo he found in her drawer and then posted it to petrolheads/pistonheads/dickheads. There would be uproar and rightly so.

This may be an anonymous forum but this is a gross invasion of his privacy. I hope he LTB.

I agree. It’s non of OPs business I hope when she questions him. He tells her quite bluntly.

MN never fails to offer something new and unexpected!

OP I’m glad you updated re the insert as I was wondering about that. So is the inner part in the washing machine perhaps? Or maybe it’s something disposable.

He’s not very good at covering his tracks is he, you know leaving his home made lady love in the bedside drawer.

OP he sounds charming... Hope you are okay, some of his behaviour can’t have made you feel great. Hopefully a little (lot) of mocking of the penis beaker mark 2 will make you feel better x

Why the fuck didn’t the sailors and this guy just have a regular wank? Callouses?

Why would you just not buy a fleshlight ? The majority of people here knew what it was so it’s not as if he’s made it “stealth” in any way.