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Original poster

Girl getting changed in front of boyfriend?

148 replies

Solar95 · 26/08/2019 20:00

Let me start off by saying I think I'm being overly paranoid here 🙈
My boyfriend went on a lads trip for 3 weeks, we had a big issue with a secret snapchat and him lying about some messages from an ex, still currently working through that.
He showed me a video of his mates mucking around and the only girl on the trip was just getting completely changed in front of them all. Now obviously I'm not comfortable with this, I do think it's a bit inappropriate but not for one second do I think anything has gone on between them.
My issue is with the way I found out. If a guy friend for completely naked in front of me I'd mention it to my boyfriend but he hasn't once brought it up and I've found out through this video. I don't think he meant to show me her getting undressed. Nothing has been said but I feel like a boundary has been crossed but am I over reacting?

OP posts:

LettuceP · 26/08/2019 20:07

Fully naked changed or or still in her bra and knickers? Because if she was in her bra and knickers then it's the same as a bikini really so the same as what he'd see at the beach. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable getting changed in front of any bloke apart from dh but each to their own. And if she just got changed in front of him then technically he hasn't done anything wrong IMO, not exactly his fault. Especially if there was a group, now if it had been getting fully naked to get changed with only your boyfriend in the room then I would expect him to leave immediately but under the circumstances you have described I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Original poster

Solar95 · 26/08/2019 20:13

It was fully naked, I understand people getting changed and stuff but I just thought that's somethung youd mention?

OP posts:

Birdbox74 · 26/08/2019 20:17

Seems on odd thing to film and then carry on filming!

Original poster

Solar95 · 26/08/2019 20:19

He quickly turned the camera away when he she was in the video

OP posts:

june2007 · 26/08/2019 20:20

So he was happy to show you a video he took which showed her completely naked?

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2019 20:21

They were all in the room and she was naked?

Original poster

Solar95 · 26/08/2019 20:23

He was videoing someone else and he panned the camera and accidentally got her on the video, (does that make sense? 😂) yeah there was probably 8guys and this one girl

OP posts:

Crowdo · 26/08/2019 20:24

Wouldn't be weird in my group of friends, but can see why it would be unusual.

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2019 20:25

But even getting changed you don't need to get totally naked, you can do it in stages, what was she standing their totally naked in a room of eight men? Is that what you're saying?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 26/08/2019 20:27

How old is he? And how do you know she was the only girl?
Secret groups and msgs from exes are massive red flag.
You do not need to work on your trust issues you need to work on binning this liar off.
If youve caught them lying once it is the tip of the iceberg. Where theres one rat theres always 10 more as the saying goes.

ChangeItChild · 26/08/2019 20:27

Totally naked in front of 8 men? I do find that odd, and disrespectful to all those men's GF & DP's too. She sounds like a weird one.

4storytoy · 26/08/2019 20:28

Sounds like a very strange situation. Were all the guys looking at her as she was ‘getting changed’ or was it just happening in the background and no one really noticed?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 26/08/2019 20:30

Sorry i meant lying about msgs from exes.
Fine to be friends with exes as long as upfront and honest about it.

Dippypippy1980 · 26/08/2019 20:31

Agree, I would be concerned about a woman who was completely naked in a room full of eight men, at least one of whom as filming.

What age are they, have they known her long, have you met her and is she normally a stable, rational person?

I went on mixed trips when at uni and we stayed in large dorm rooms in youth hostels, but no one was ever naked in front of everyone else. That would have been weird.

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2019 20:32

This is just odd. Where were they that she was naked and had eight men in her room?

I know one poster has said she would do this, but for most people there would not be nine people in one room, and one of them a naked woman.

Is there more to the story? Had they been for example at a hot spring in Iceland or something similar?

Original poster

Solar95 · 26/08/2019 20:37

They've all known each other since high school, it was like she was in the background and was just doing her own thing, they're all in thier early 20s and I've never met this girl. First I'd heard of her was her going on this trip. I thought it was pretty disrespectful as well but I've been in a abusive relationship in the past so my perception of things is still pretty mucked up

OP posts:

CloudyWithAChance2 · 26/08/2019 20:41

Based on them being friends since school I think no problem. She’s effectively one of the boys by the sounds.
My initial thought was one of them had brought her back and she was making her way to the walk of shame, but this sounds fine.

Dippypippy1980 · 26/08/2019 20:42

Tell your boyfriend he needs to delete the video of her naked. She might not mind, or maybe she was drunk and would be horrified.

I sound like old Mother Earth here but you are all very young. Being in the same room as a woman who comfortable changing doesn’t mean your boyfriend is cheating or disrespectful. I also don’t think it means she is disrespectful to you, she just has very different boundaries.

But, your boyfriend sounds like he isn’t the most reliable, and maybe if you are Still recovering from an abusive relationship, you need a little time alone to be stronger?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 26/08/2019 20:42

@Solar95

Im sorry. Please do yourself a favour and just move on from this as if you already have issues this will make it worse. You need someone who raises your self esteem not crushes it by making you feel paranoid.
He has proved your paranoia is not unfounded due to his LIES. Listen to your gut!

MyCatHatesEverybody · 26/08/2019 20:42

Why weren't you on this trip too?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 26/08/2019 20:43

What Dippypippy said

SignedUpJust4This · 26/08/2019 22:12

You'll never be able to trust this one.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/08/2019 22:18

I don’t think their ages have anything to do with it. When I was young I wouldn’t have even got naked in front of my female friends never mind my male ones. I know there are some women who get totally naked at the gym etc but I think they’re in the minority aren’t they?

I don’t think this is the norm, Op.

IDontDrinkTea · 26/08/2019 22:19

I think he should delete the video.

But I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve been on holiday with a group of friends, mixed gender, and we’ve all shared a room. There’s no real way to get changed after a shower discreetly really so you just quietly do your thing. Id be mortified if someone had it on film though

StarlightLady · 26/08/2019 22:24

I was born naked, l don’t care who sees me naked and I’m relaxed about changing in front of sensible “real” adults. BUT, if someone gets a camera out, that is another matter. Totally not on!

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