Long term lurker, first time poster.
I have no one I can really talk to about this and it's driving me mad.
We have been married for 3 months (it's a strong start, I know), together 8 years.
Last weekend we went a party at a friends house. We know her and her husband fairly well. They were at our wedding and vice versa. Husband got very very drunk. I saw him kiss our friend. They were both to blame. They'd been sat next to each other very close. Friend had very recently had a miscarriage and was also very drunk and I know he was comforting her about that.
I didn't make a scene and suggested to Husband we call our taxi now. He was so drunk he could barely stand and he slept on the sofa.
The next morning when I confronted him he basically had a breakdown. His work has been awful to him recently and he just kept crying and saying he feels broken by the whole thing. He said he feels worthless. I ended up comforting him.
He then went out all day Saturday and most of Sunday to play sports. He looked like shit but still managed it.
He's booked a counselling session next week. He's actually leaving this job anyway and in the final few weeks of his notice period.
In the meantime, I just feel so angry. I feel stupid, as I thought all was fine. He's never been the best communicator but I genuinely did not realise we had problems. I feel like I can't get angry at him because he's struggling. I feel like I can't talk to friends and family about it because they will judge him and I don't want that. He just keeps saying "we will get through this and be stronger" and I just feel like a mug because I didn't know we weren't strong!
He's making an effort this week but I feel like a trip to the cinema and a couple of bunches of flowers isn't going to fix everything.
I've messaged the friend to say I am stepping back from the friendship for now. She wants to meet up to discuss but I know I'm not in the right head space. I haven't told her husband.
To make it worse we have a family thing this weekend with both of our sets of parents and in laws which we really can't get out of.
I've asked him several times what the issue is but he just keeps saying it's him, not to do with us. He doesn't fancy the friend.
I know time will help but I am just hurt and angry. I just wish I could forget the whole thing. I'm not necessarily looking for advice, just a place to vent.