Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

sunshine I hope you have a great holiday, put all this behind you

@Sunshineandflipflops Hope you have a great time. The weather is superb there this time of year. I know it's hard but try not to think about him too much. He's not the man for you. Don't accept any breadcrumbs he offers you, you are worth so much more. You did have good times with him there's no doubt about that but they don't outweigh the fact that he didn't want to be committed to you in the way that you needed him to be. It does get easier - I was with Mr Abs for 4 months, got dumped in the middle of March and barely give him a second thought these days apart from when I think, "thank fuck I'm not with him anymore". It's amazing how you can go from someone being the be all and end all to a footnote in your life in a fairly short period of time.

Looks like the BBQ may be called off due to bad weather, so I get MrC all to myself - the encounter with my arch nemesis (in my head at least) Beach Lady will have to wait for another day, unless she decides to spring a surprise visit tomorrow.

shitwith sounds perfect - except the Ikea bit 😱

Can I join in. On my own a couple of years now and signed up to tinder and match.
I sometimes find problems with every profile I see. Wearing skinny jeans, gym pics, car pics, horrible comments about women... tho some seem ok.
Been talking to what seems like a nice guy from the next town on. We are going to meet up soon. The only issue I have any inkling of is that he has a 3 year old at the weekends ( not a problem in itself) but last night at 11pm he messaged saying finally got him into bed... now kids are fine. Disney dad's who don't say no etc and let them run riot are not. Kids go to bed at 730 in my house. Apart from this he seems nice.

@Jessicataylor welcome! Ask away!

@bullyingadvice2017 hello and welcome too

@shitwithsugaron thanks...I'm actually ok. Theres something pretty empowering about realising what my part was in it all ...I don't have to do that again. Really glad to hear things are going well with Mr bookworm! Enjoy IKEA:)

Hello @jessicataylor - you may want to name change before asking your questions and talking about dating.

@bullyingadvice2017 I don't think it's reasonable to insist your rules apply to him. But see your point. Judge him how you find him over time - you only get glimpses of people early on via messaging.

supercali every time something has gone wrong it's because I've ignored the actions and listened to the words. It's so easy to see this with hindsight but really hard to do in practice. There's a quote I like for people like me and you ;) let me see if I can find it!

rich I am so so pleased for you! How far you've come since the first threads we were on :)

I like reading this when things have gone wrong!

@DaffoDeffo thanks for that. Yes! It makes so much sense....I've been reading the blog post Male syndrome..though equally helpful for the chaps on here I'd say. It's made so much sense of how boundaries operate, and my own part in teaching people how they get to treat me early on.

Welcome @bullyingadvice2017 - I agree with hairyarsed - I wouldn't see that as a red flag. All hail to you if you can get your kids to bed at a set time, everytime, lol.

That's lovely Daffo. Thank you for posting it.

@Jessicataylor - I think he means, is that your real name?
What is your background with your b/f?

Bumble make sure you check in with a loo update for us

I've just downloaded the app so I can!

I love that quote @DaffoDeffo it's true. @supercali77 it's good to think about what we didn't see. But don't overthink it too, I have also done the same. I do believe it just makes us stronger and aware of what to look for the next time. The hurt/disappointment we face now, is what we certainly won't accept next time.

Welcome all newbies.

@Jessicataylor I would def change your name, posts and threads can be found so easily just from google. So you don't want anyone to find what you are typing. ESP if you think he's cheating.

@shitwithsugaron Ikea on a bank holiday weekend, you’re brave!!

@Ant330 I hope you have/are having a nice morning.

Had quite a nice time with MrNoName last night, he brought over Bandicoot for the switch and I managed to persuade him to leave it here before he went to the train station. As someone who has never done OLD I used his phone to have a good look at Tinder last night, it wasn’t particularly appealling.

He’s off to Brum pride today, he’ll be watching FWB perform... I was wondering the last couple of times if I should tell him (as I knew he was going to brum pride) I did last night as I didn’t think it was appropriate to keep it a secret, especially as I’m seeing him at disney next weekend. He didn’t seem to mind, so we’ll see.

It’s my sons birthday party today, I thought setting up for hall would take ages but I finished about half an hour ago and it doesn’t start until 11, so almost another half hour before I’m subjected to hell on earth.