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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 16:01

supercali I’m so sorry about the loss of your granny. Hope you are now home safe xxx

TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 16:24

koko - Glad you've ended it with him, it's for the best.
shit - Hope your ex turns up.
life - Got to feel sorry for someone like that! Love your reply, lol.

MrBE wants to see me again. Smile

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 16:26

Good news tooold!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 16:34

Yay TooOld so pleased for you.

And Notcool and Auba - all sounding very positive.

super I'm so sorry about your granny.

lifegoes oh my god you dodged a bullet there 😂

I had a quick coffee date with Mr Sailor this afternoon. I like him and he likes me, so we're going to go on another date. And he only lives a couple of miles away, which is a bonus.

TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 16:44

@supercali77 - So sorry about your Granny. Missed your post earlier. Sending (((hugs))) and Flowers. x

OP posts:
LilyRose88 · 16/02/2019 16:52

@supercali so sorry to hear about your Granny.

I am hoping that my date with Mr Much Younger goes well tonight. He is very good looking so I do wonder whether he just fancies shagging an older woman! I don't want to dtd with him tonight so if he starts suggesting anything I will just be very polite and leave. We are meeting in a restaurant and I will be driving, so I won't be drinking. Is it silly that I have bought a new dress? I am pretty certain that the date won't lead to a relationship, but I need an ego-boost after being dumped a few weeks ago by Mr Love Bomber.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 16:55

Not at all Lily go and have fun and flirt.

Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 17:06

Sounding positive auba and batshit
Enjoy your date tonight lilyrose

TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 17:07

Lily - go for it! I did and I also thought the same as you but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Update required!

OP posts:
shitwithsugaron · 16/02/2019 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSheepHaveEyes · 16/02/2019 17:18

I've my date with MrTeacher later. Bit nervous Grin

DancingWithWillard · 16/02/2019 17:25

Hi everyone. Can I join please? I've been following the thread for months but never joined in, so feel like you are all friends and could do with the collective support.

I've been separated well over a year, online dating on and off a year almost and just feel so demoralised. If I form a connection with someone they disappear or turn out to be nutters. I have been on plenty of dates, some 2nd or 3rd just no compatibility.

I know I am bad for dtd too fast, as I like to know we are compatible in that regard, but it's not working for me. Im losing hope of ever finding anyone, and that I'm just not worth dating.

Im normally a bubbly fun and confident person, but I can't form a relationship. I have taken a break from dating here and there, but ultimately, I want a partner.

Anyway, sorry for the huge pity party. I am not usually such a downer.

Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 17:34

Good luck with your date sheep
Welcome dancingwith. I have found the rules and support from this thread amazing. It moves very quickly but knowing the. Rules and reading other people’s experiences has really helped me. Is there anything about the men you swipe on that might give clues? I was a very strict swiper!

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 17:35

@supercali77 sorry to hear about granny.

@LilyRose88 go for it. New dress, new man. Enjoy it and keep us updated.

@TooOld knew he would want to see you again. Great news 😘

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 17:36

Welcome @Dancing I've found this group really helpful. Just reading replies and stories has helped me.

Plus they've been a huge help to me personally with starting OLD

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 17:56

Good luck TheSheep Smile

wishywashy6 · 16/02/2019 18:00

@DancingWithWillard I found this thread so helpful when I first started OLD, welcome! ☺️

Do you seem to go for a particular type of man? Does it tend to be them losing interest or you? How quickly are you dtd?
I know it sounds cliche but I think if you try too hard to find 'the one' it never happens, it happens when you're not looking.
I tried to look at OLD as a chance to just meet new people, whether that lead to friendship, a relationship, just a shag or just a hilarious disastrous date story to tell was kind of irrelevant to me at the time. Having no expectations really helped me.
It is a bit of a lottery sometimes, some people seem to find someone they click with early on while others have to slog it out a bit longer!

MarcMyWords · 16/02/2019 18:39

Hi, I'm fairly new here and to OLD - it was barely invented last time I was dating - last century!
I find also there is a huge difference between the sites. If you don't mind meeting liberal lefty types, and you live in a fairly big city, then Guardian Soul Mates seems to have way less of the flaky/nutter types. In fact women I've met on GSM in the past 3 months have all been lovely and more attractive in real life.
Whereas POF, in contrast... OMG. Apart from the nutters, the obvious prostitutes, the endless emails from non-existant/fake profiles, the can't-be-arsed website admin. Worst money I've ever spent. It seems about 5% of people on POF want a conversation, so it really is a numbers game :( Then there are the women on POF who complain that men are after only one thing, but post loads of pics in their lingerie... or complain that they never receive messages longer than "Hi hun"... but after sending what I like to believe was an amusing, respectful, chatty message to them it gets deleted without being read! But I can imagine for women it's even worse!

Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 18:55

Sorry to hear your news super
👍 tooold
Good luck lily
As for me - I have made my feelings clear to iron that friends for the moment as he clearly can’t offer what I need.
Had my 1st meeting with someone from fab (I deleted fab on the same night I installed it as super scary!) had a good honest chat&cuddle,wasn’t awkward at all and potential for fwb if I want it-just not sure I do with him so I will have a think 🤔.

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 19:05

What's fab like @CocoKoko123 ?

LilyRose88 · 16/02/2019 19:05

Just about to leave to go to meet Mr Much Younger. Will report back tomorrow. Good luck to everyone out tonight, and for those of you who are at home with Netflix and wine, have a lovely evening in. x

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 19:07

Good luck @LilyRose88 I'll have a glass of wine for you

Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 19:31

life I honestly wouldn’t know as my experience is limited to a couple of hours on there the other night,lots of weirdos,be prepared for people to be very upfront sexually and in to kinky things,also saw duplicates from tinder and bumble on there and one who was a friend of a friend who is had 2 dates with in the past who I wouldn’t have expected to be on there!
As applies to all OLD I’d say it’s hard to weed out the weirdos from the normal ones as some can appear normal at first and then go psycho on you and other can be have sexually charged convos but be true gents in RL (just in touch with their sexual side). Also lots of dick pics and lots with no pictures...
The only other one I saw on there that I was interested in I found on tinder today so swiped right there and will have to wait and see if we match.

Already missing my iron but I’ve got to remember he wasn’t acknowledging or giving me what I needed. So hard not to send him a message asking if I can stay the weekend as was originally planned but I know it would just be more of the same.

TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 19:39

Batshit - I hope your MrSailer isn't my MrBirdsEye! Shock Grin. It's great having someone local isn't it.
TheSheep - Good luck tonight! Update awaited.
Dancing - Welcome. All I can say is keep trying and adhere to the rules.
Marc - Welcome. It's nice to have another fella on the thread assuming you are a fella. It's a numbers game whatever site you are on. Have you tried Badoo?

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement today. It really is good to have feedback a few home truths. x

OP posts:
ComedyBoobs · 16/02/2019 20:02

super so sorry to hear about your gran Flowers

I'm still struggling with the Fab site.... Lots of dick pics & fuckwits.

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