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Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
lifegoes · 16/02/2019 12:02

@TooOld you haven't blown it. He's still texting you this morning.

Sex the first time, esp when it's been built up can be poor. As we build it up to be something amazing.

Apart from being drunk, was the night bad? - if not give him another chance

CantstandmLMs · 16/02/2019 12:08

@TooOldForThis67 drunk sex is often disappointing but sometimes it can also take a while to find your rhythm with a new partner so to speak.

I remember sex being a bitConfused with an ex in the early stages cause we were always getting way too drunk together. But honestly when that kind of stopped the sex got amazing.

I think you're best to just say something along the lines of sorry I said that, I'd built it up in my head and then with it being fuelled by alcohol I was confused. I know your nervy but give it another go without alcohol 😬

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 12:24

Oh TooOld you haven't blown it if he's texting you this morning.

IME I've found that sex for the first time with someone is often a bit rubbish - add in alcohol, nerves and a big build up and it can be disastrous. Like a PP, I can't imagine you being horrible to him, it was the drink.

Try and have a heart to heart about it and don't give up.

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 12:24

sorting life cant - you are all spot on. I'm ashamed of myself as I would never be so blunt normally. He doesn't drink so it's scared him.
He is lovely in every way. I think I did self sabotage it tbh.

OP posts:
Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 12:27

tooola phew glad to know you’re safe! To echo others I don’t think you’ve blown it if you’re still messaging this morning.I’d give it a second go for sure!

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 12:28

batshit - Yes, I need to talk to him. In a way it's a relief that the first time is over, can't get any worse!

OP posts:
Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 12:45

He's understandably being a bit vague in his messages. It's clear he likes me but doesn't want to get hurt. So I really don't know if it's over or not. I can't apologise any more. Guess I will have to leave him to make up his mind. Sad

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 13:00

Aw tooold you’ve apologised. There’s not much more you can do now other than let him decide if he wants to see you again.

Dtd did not go as expected with my iron. And we had really built it up so it was a shock to us both. He ended things but we talked it through, had an old fashioned date then tried again. It’s now very good and we can’t keep our hands off each other!!

midcenturylegs · 16/02/2019 13:04

@TooOldForThis67 poor you.
Give it time x

Hey all. Not really been around much, my fling of 7 weeks (set-up not via OLD) came to a proper end last weekend. Looking back, it wasn't right - the sex was amazing but so so many things were wrong for me. Was a little heart-broken but swiftly getting over it.

I have 2 irons, one MrSA but won't see him for 2 weeks or so because he's away, another I will call MrLit but I'm not so sure about him.. Think I need a little longer to get over the above twerp.

Lots of wanker idiots out there at the moment - sorry lots of you are suffering

midcenturylegs · 16/02/2019 13:05

@Notcoolmum that's a nice story!

richdeniro · 16/02/2019 13:10

@TooOld

First time whilst intoxicated. Always a chance it's going to be crap.

Also being a guy it's fairly likely he may be a bit out of practise, us guys don't get laid anywhere near as often as women do especially if he wanted to take time before sleeping together.

I think you're massively overthinking it.

Mulie · 16/02/2019 13:24

@tooold sounds like classic self sabotage to me and exactly the kind of thing I could see myself doing before I stopped drinking.

Mr BE is obviously very into you. It is definitely worth giving it another go surely?
It’s just finding that balance now of giving him space to lick his wounds and keeping the lines of communication open.
Hopefully you will come back stronger having survived this bump in the road.
Flowers

Auba14 · 16/02/2019 14:00

TooOld If ever there was an argument not to consume alcohol on the first few dates then this was it.

I just can’t believe you said that out loud to someone, you must have had some sort of comprehension as to what you were saying to the poor guy. And on the thread you’ve always been so lovely and understanding towards people and their situations! It may well be that it’ll be okay and he gives you another chance, but I hope that you learn from this experience in future. We all talk most days about men who aren’t worth the time of day due to their behaviour and think of what people would be saying on here if it was Mr BE that had said the same to you?

I hope he can see past it and give you another chance, because it’s clear as day you’re a great person and would be fabulous girlfriend to someone. I also hope you learn something from the experience and hopefully never repeat it - it’s looking good that he’s messaging you again and hopefully you can iron things out.

Good luck!

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 14:29

I'm sending messages and he's reading and not replying.

notcool - that's a nice happy ending.

Lets change the subject. Anyone got any dates tonight?

OP posts:
Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 14:46

I may have a coffee date with a potential fwb later today,if not tomorrow and am out with friends tonight.Have told my iron that he’s clearly not able to give me what I need so I wish to remain friends only so I figured fair game 🤔x

shitwithsugaron · 16/02/2019 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 14:57

😘😘😘 @TooOld keep your chin up and give him time

No dates, keeping away from dates for a bit.

But this will/ may make you smile.

Matched with someone Thursday from Tinder (obvs trying to still keep clear of it, but thought I'll engage in conversation ) swapped numbers. My good god!!! He never stopped. Popped out for dinner with mum and I told him. I returned to 23 messages. Just asking how I am, do I have Netflix, what's my fav dog 👀 etc

I replied late saying, sorry I've not replied I'm off to bed.

Woke up to 16 messages asking if I want to meet him tonight - I said no thank you, sorry but I just didn't think there was anything between him.

His replIES

  • you don't even know me
  • is it because I've got grey hair
  • is it because I've got children
  • why?
  • how do you know
  • YOU HAVE ISSUES

Which triggered my response of

"A) I know a enough b) I really couldn't care less if you had purple hair and were part of the Walton family. It's still a no. And finally c) the only person with issues is YOU. I've seen less questions in a 12 hour period on a full series of who wants to be a millionaire. Bye"

My word. These men?!

Auba14 · 16/02/2019 15:12

lifegoes That is brilliant 😂 I’m sure they must be getting advice from somewhere saying that women love to be asked questions. You know, like that episode of the Inbetweeners when Simon asks Tara loads of questions and makes himself sound stupid repeating the same ones! At least you found out early on he’s weird, imagine you’d replied to one and the barrage you’d have got after 😱

I’ve got my second date tomorrow, have messaged each other every day since the first date on Monday, all day every day which is really nice and I still feel like I’m getting to know her. The only thing for us both is having time at the moment - we don’t want to even tell anyone we are dating because of how it would affect my work and our mutual friend that I work with and don’t want anyone interfering. But I’m enjoying it, I really like her and feel like I can be myself around her. Pretty excited!

Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 15:14

Oh my works lifegoes. At least he laid himself bare early on!!! Saved you wasting your time!!

I’d hoped to see my iron tonight for a date but he’s been ill and I’m currently dying from a stinking hangover. What a waste of a lovely day 🙈

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 15:26

@Auba14 I'm so pleased I found out what he was like 😂😂😂 nutcase.

Good luck with your second, sounds very promising.

@Notcoolmum I just kept looking at my phone thinking is this man okay?! 😂😂

You'll need at arrange another date soon, I hate going on dates with a hangover. You just feel rubbish the whole time.

Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 15:35

I was hungover on our second date lifegoes but I’m much worse today!! There will be another date once we are both better.

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 15:40

Sounds promising, where did you meet @Notcoolmum

Notcoolmum · 16/02/2019 15:47

We met on tinder lifegoes. Seeing each other exclusively now and it’s going very well. I was seeing someone else when I met him but he grew on me and then I just wanted to see him. I think he’s lovely!

supercali77 · 16/02/2019 15:48

Cancelled my date tonight as last night I had to drive hundreds of miles to be with my granny as she died. Drove all the way back this morning as forgot about my cat. Car exhaust blew. Window on the drivers side wouldn't close. Tearful and utterly drained

Mulie · 16/02/2019 15:52

@supercali77 I’m sorry to hear about your granny. What a horrible few hours you had Flowers Hope you feel a bit better after some rest.
Your iron will understand if he has an ounce of compassion.