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Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 21/02/2019 22:28

I found it difficult at first lifegoes although I am now wishing I’d kept multi dating to avoid over investing.

Firstly don’t feel guilty. You haven’t met them yet so it’s not real. And they will be chatting to others too. Remember this is protect you. OLD moves quickly. If you did it one by one you’d be up the creek without a paddle.

Until you have had the exclusivity chat assume they are seeing other people too.

And most importantly HAVE FUN !

user1466783975 · 21/02/2019 22:32

I would say lifegoes that chat to as many as you can fit in,everyone seems to be. But when it comes to meeting,try and be a little selective. I've done the multi dating and used to tick them off and move on. It was exhausting! I still have no idea what i'm doing( meeting an oldie with a wig tomorrow) but i'm pacing myself ( no offence to anyone older btw,i'm trying to make a joke out of a strange situation!)

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:33

@TooOld that helps, as one isn't local. I worry I'll get the conversations mixed up when I meet them 😂😂 both are ok and we have a good laugh. But I need to meet them to decide if I like them.

@Notcoolmum very good point. I'm just having fun. I'm not doing anything wrong by talking to others. I need to remember this!

Thank you both.

leonasa · 21/02/2019 22:34

I've just been inspired by you Marc (hello btw) and texted the hot younger italian iron I had a very nice date and kiss with before stupidly unilaterally whittling it down to the man child that turned out to be Mr Non-Monogamous!

Let's see if he replies... :)

WarIsPeace · 21/02/2019 22:34

Ffs another last minute cancellation from him. Never mind folks. I should have learned.

OTOH I've just matched with a right hottie on bumble revenge-swiping GrinGrin

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:36

@user1466783975 I really want you to sleep with this old one, just to see if you pull his wig off in excitement. 😂😂

I tend to find as I get talking to certain ones, I drop off the conversations with the other ones. But then come back when I'm quiet. I'll only meet the ones I feel I can get along with.

Bluezoo123 · 21/02/2019 22:38

marc can I ask you re your iron who agreed to exclusivity but hen wasn’t intimate with you - what was the honest reason for their lack of intimacy? Just wondering as went through something similar myself recently with one of my ex irons

WarIsPeace · 21/02/2019 22:40

I already have a date with Mr Substitute for Saturday I've no right to be peeved really. But I still am.

Hope everyone else is having a better night!

leonasa · 21/02/2019 22:47

Ha lifegoes I totally did that with two Italian irons - "but are you sure you're not from Rome?" "Why did I think you were from Rome?"

Because that was the other one...☺️

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:47

@WarIsPeace I love the revenge swiping. 😂 drop that hottie a message

MarcMyWords · 21/02/2019 22:48

What is it about 'double dating' @lifegoes? You're just meeting two people for a chat, right?

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 21/02/2019 22:48

Oh Comedy - I've had 14 replies within a nano second of setting up without a photo!!! It's gonna be a fun night. It's not cheating is it!
Oooo, at the modelling. I'm guessing glam modelling due to big boobs? Sorry if I'm wrong! Wink

OP posts:
user1466783975 · 21/02/2019 22:48

warls its always crap when someone cancels,like you take it personally but really we shouldn't.
I won't be sleeping with him tomorrow as will be in pub carpark saying goodnight but if we have a snog I will give it a little tug lol

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:49

@leonasa 😂😂😂. It's when you try and backtrack you just make it more obvious. I wouldn't know what to say. I'd be mortified.

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:51

@Marc I am, I need to keep telling myself this. It feels like cheating on someone I'm not even with.

I need to just keep reminding myself. I'm NOT doing anything wrong. I'm just Sampling a few free goods before I decide which to buy 😂

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 22:52

When does this post stop @TooOldForThis67 we are almost at 1000

MarcMyWords · 21/02/2019 22:56

Hi @leonasa - ha, yes I say do it. I'm going to have a rule that the other person has to mention exclusivity first, and then to be sure they have some connection with their own feelings first!

@Cocokoko123 - I wish I knew. Basically at the end they decided they weren't ready to have a relationship with anyone. What was really frustrating was that my gut said she knew that, but wasn't telling me. So no honesty at all really until it was finally drawn out of her.

I've done a lot of therapy work after a difficult break up, I'm now in a great place. My new minimum standard is for people to either not have 'issues', or to have done the same amount of work to get themselves there.

Bluezoo123 · 21/02/2019 23:22

Thanks marc - I never got a valid reason for lack of intimacy from mine so just took the prerogative myself and downgraded it to friendship only.

richdeniro · 21/02/2019 23:26

@Marc You sound like you're in the same boat of me, I went through a horrible breakup last year and have been doing the therapy thing the last few months. Have taken a break recently from dating apps and over the last couple of months have been building up boundaries and am in the same place as you, I'm only going to invest in people who are basically emotionally available and have worked through their issues. When I get back on them next month I'm going to get to know someone better before getting overly intimate with them as my attachment type leads me to fall far too quickly, plus my therapist said it builds much better respect for each other both consciously and subconsciously. Seems much healthier.

MarcMyWords · 21/02/2019 23:34

Excellent stuff @richdeniro and I'm sure that'll go well for you.
Boundaries are really important, that's why I'm so annoyed with myself for not dumping first!
OLD is a means to an end and while taking things slowly I'm very much looking forward to never visiting POF again!

Bluezoo123 · 21/02/2019 23:39

Update of sorts from me-
Finished the recommended Netflix series and have provisional date with guy I haven’t seen since adolescence (when there was a mutual attraction) at weekend 😬

Bluezoo123 · 21/02/2019 23:40

And welcome back to thread rich

richdeniro · 21/02/2019 23:41

Thanks guys

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2019 07:33

Gosh this thread moves fast! user when you said you were going to 'give it a tug' it took me a while to realise you meant his (possible) wig 😂

Good to see you back rich.

I also struggle to remember who I've told what .... so much so that I try to tell them all the same stuff. Remembering about them means sometimes a few very basic notes under their contact details on my phone ... 😳

On Fab I didn't have a face pic - only offered that once I decided we'd meet. Had an arty pic of my legs as a profile pic ...

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