Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Exactly @CocoKoko123 keep remembering the things he's not giving you and how that makes you feel.

That's what I'm doing, remembering how shit I felt when something wasn't right, or was let down

Just debating whether to head back to mr fabs after my night out to get a particular scratch itched...

And thanks life I know you speak sense

Virtually the whole point of Fab is the dick pics 😂

I used the site pretty extensively a while ago and I'm still in touch with a few people. I found the weeding out quite easy and the men I'm still in touch with are really lovely, gentlemanly men.

Hi all. Thank you so much for the messages, I really appreciate the support.

I've not gone for a specific type just who I got on with, and have expanded my horizons. In the beginning I woulfld say it was mostly me losing interest, but lately (as I've been more picky because I realised I didn't want to compromise so much) it's been them losing interest. I know I either cone across as too needy or too disinterested.

I have dtd mostly on the first night if I really like someone. As I say, it is an important part of compatibility for me but I've realised I don't want to do that any more as it's not helping.

I have also joined some groups and started going and doing new things on my own, not as a singles thing too, as I don't want my life to be all about looking for a man.

I think I'm just down in the dumps today. You lot have cheered me up more than I can say tho.

Hi dancing and welcome.i too feel down in the dumps right now.i am in taxi on way home - don’t know if fab guy fell asleep or what but probably for the best.horrible not getting a goodnight message from my iron-i know he was ultimately doing me no good but it still hurts.dont know why I get so attached.child free weekend and got bugger all in the pipeline.just need to remind myself that I deserve more.

Back from my date and I think it went well. It was a long one because we talked and talked for ages. Gotta be a good sign? He knows me very well already. Bought me a gift (jokey type but spot on!). He's a bit older than he looks in the pictures which is a tad annoying as I carefully chose very accurate pictures but it's not too drastic that it's a no. We get on SO well. Have sent happy goodnight texts so second date is expected 😬

Dancing I think doing OLD forces you to look at what you want and how you're going about getting it. FWIW I'm not sure when you dtd makes much difference, although I know other people disagree with me.

shitwith and Cantstand - excellent news.

Coco was Mr fab supposed to be calling you? Try not to think that the weekend is wasted, and do something nice for yourself, even if it's just having a long bath and painting your nails.

So, an update on how last nights date with MrTeacher went...

First the good stuff - I was a very happy TheSheep, twice He was also a very happy MrTeacher There is clearly a huge amount of physical attraction on both sides, and it just kind of worked. There were a few things that surprised me about him, but in a good way. I think I was a little bit more reserved than I would be now I've that first under my belt, as it were, but he knows I was nervous. We just kind of fitted, whether we were dtd or just cuddling, and I could have quite happily stayed with him all night, had I not had to get back home. He'd quite clearly gone to quite a bit of effort to make things nice, with candles, cheese and biscuits, and he'd done the sweetest thing in making a playlist on Spotify of the music we both like (which is how we got chatting in the first place).

Now the bad stuff - He asked me to send a message when I got home safely, which I did, and we exchanged a few messages. He said he'd like to do it again (meaning the evening), but then followed it up by saying that he'd like to meet me for another coffee sometime, which felt a bit non-committal or too casual or something. I'd had a notification of a message pop up from PoF, from someone I'd been chatting to before I turned my profile onto invisible, and curiosity got the better of me and I searched for MrTeacher - he'd been on PoF that day, so either before or after I'd spent the evening with him, which honestly made me feel a bit shit. And yes, I know I went on PoF, but I have my profile off, so I don't feel it's the same. That said, we've not discussed anything relationship wise.

So a great evening, that I think we both enjoyed, but now I'm feeling a bit flat and wondering if it meant more to me than it did to him, or that he didn't enjoy it as much as he wanted, and he's now out there trawling for someone else. And I'm not sure what to do. Whether to just keep on with the sort of messaging that we'd been doing, ask him, see if we can have that coffee and a chat sooner rather than later and bring things up, or what?

We usually exchange 'Good Morning' messages, so I might just see how the messages go today, although I have already convinced myself that he'll be moving on to the next. Although to be fair, he doesn't know my feelings/intentions either. Hmmm.

@TheSheepHaveEyes glad you had a good night. As hard as it is I'd just go with the flow at the moment. Look at the positive you wee messaging last night and he said he wants to do it again. I found this one of the hardest things about OLD. Until you've had the exclusive chat unfortunately most stay on chatting at least if not dating. Remember too he could have got a message just like you did. With my bf very quickly we knew that we didn't want anyone else and deleted our profiles. Be yourself with him today and try focus on the good.

We messaged this morning, he shared the Spotify playlist he'd made

TheSheep ooh I've been waiting for your update. Sounds really positive to me.

I've been in daily contact with Mr Substitute but it was several days before he asked for another date... Give him time to think about you and the evening you had.

I picked up a 2nd hand copy of the Matthew Hussey 'Get the guy' book and it was really fun to read, it seems I am already following most of the suggestions and I smiled all the way through it iykwim.

Supercali, so sorry for your loss, hope you are OK

Will try to catch up properly with the thread

Great news sheep
bat he asked me to message but he’s messaged this morning saying he’d fallen asleep.

Thabks everyone for the kind words on my granny. Spent last night with freinds, Chinese, flowers etc. Then because the doctor wasn't texting...i dunno I kinda wanted human touch and I have uncertainties about him. So I texted an old iron 🙈 and we ended up having a lovely late night hugging session 😂 it was goooood. He's asked if I want to go out (we were always Netflix and chill types). So.....its all up in the air atm!

thesheep oh I'm so pleased for you love. Yeah bear in mind .... even guys have had experiences where they have a great night with someone and then they disappear. So everyone keeps their options a bit open. Was talking to a male freind last night and he was bemoaning the whole thing. We decided the apps make you think in ways and do things you wouldn't ordinarily do out of self protection. So as hard as it is....hang tight x

Great news shit - remind me,was there an issue with mr indie before because I’m sure you said he’d
always been keen so just genuinely wondered why it’s taken this long to update your status?
supercali that’s exactly he type of old iron I need to have available to call upon!

Great news shit - remind me,was there an issue with mr indie before because I’m sure you said he’d
always been keen so just genuinely wondered why it’s taken this long to update your status?
supercali that’s exactly he type of old iron I need to have available to call upon!

Apologies for double post-phone playing up!

Thanks you lot

I'm finding the OLD thing a bit hard to fathom. The last dating I did was 20 years ago, and this is so different that I'm having trouble getting my head around it! It just feels a bit like people are always moving on to the next person, or permanently looking for someone better to come along or something. That isn't really in my nature, and although I turned my dating profiles off so that I could rewrite them, rather than because of MrTeacher, I'd not put them back on because of MrTeacher, if that makes sense? It just felt wrong somehow. Maybe I should?

I shall do as you've suggested and just hang tight with him and see what happens.

TheSheep yes it is a bit strange because it's not 'how it used to be'. But it all sounds good - he's still messenger you, so hang on in there.

Mr Sailor from yesterday is still messenging, Mr I/S is today's date - he's offered to drive over towards me instead of meeting centrally, which is nice of him. I had a first date arrange for next Tuesday which I wasn't feeling positive about but he's cancelled, so am a bit relieved!

super we all need that

TheSheep
Glad you had a good night.

The offer of coffee rather than anything else might be because he doesn't want you to think that he only wants to meet you for sex.
I'd go for the coffee and see where it leads.

As for him being on POF, could he have just popped on to check a message or even message some recent people he'd been chatting to, to say he had met someone?
I've never done POF and I think knowing when someone was last on there would send you stir crazy wondering what they are up to.

@TheSheepHaveEyes yes the last seen option on POF can drive one mad! I personally have a few friendzoned buddies so I do get messages from them from time to time, which doesn't really mean I'm looking. Could it be this?

Yes, I did realise that there would be a lot of dick pics on the Fab site but once you've seen one.....
I have a message from one with his cock in a 'Fab' ice lolly wrapper. He has a motor home.

I don't have any photos on there myself & haven't written a profile. I'm just 'woman looking for man' which is to the point I think. I have had a lot of messages from couples though. Which isn't my thing.

Who has dates today? I'm just catching up.....