Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I'm going over tonight.
They both know I'm seeing someone else so I'm not lying to anyone. And it's been a rotten week, I need a hug and a squeeze. Naked ones will do just fine.

Enjoy WarIs!

Good luck warls

I'm having convs on fab.... One starts all his messages with 'hmmmmm.... Sexy lady!'
I think I need to put a stop on it, as amusing as he is, I don't think I'm the 'sexy lady' for him

Hi Rich - lovely to hear from you and glad you're OK. More than ok it sounds. A few weeks out isn't going to make any difference at all.

Nice one Warls.

Oh.. shitwith I have another, after a day long convo - nice photo. Nice convo. Then - 'I'd try anything with you, I'd stop it at disgusting or painful'
Allllrightie... Let's go. Not.

I told him he'd lost me at 'disgusting or painful'

@ComedyBoobs I'm crying with laughter at that

Mr Nicebutdisgustingandpainful back tracked & asked me if I'd prefer something else.

Thursday night on fab is interesting.

Comedy - I'm thinking of going on just for the laughs!

I would highly recommend it for laughs tooold

Ugh I've messed up. I've been chatting a lot to someone, loads of conversation but loads of questions from him which I found a bit overwhelming. He also mentioned that he was undiagnosed autistic and came across as quite blunt. This set me on edge a bit as he reminded me of my ex, who was autistic, and couldn't give me what I needed and I was very lonely. So I shamefully put him in the same box and made a bit of a song and dance about needing emotional support in a relationship (when he asked what was important to me).

So after planning to meet up he bailed, saying that he was sorry but he couldn't give me what I wanted. I had sort of over egged the sensitivity thing probably because I was self sabotaging and worrying that he wouldn't be what I was looking for.

Anyway we kept chatting and we met up last night for a drink. I think just as friends in both our heads. That's what I was thinking until I met him. He is completely different to what I imagined and nothing like he came across on screen. I felt an amazing spark and he's just the loveliest person. We got on so well. I am now kicking myself for being too guardeed and putting him in a box. I'm such a bloody idiot. I feel awful. We've arranged to meet again but I think I'm permanently friendzoned.

Ugh no idea how to play it now. Do I just put this down to experience and move on or should I try and pursue it? We talked a lot about both feeling a bit frustrated and he could probably be a FWB but I just know that I'm going to end up feeling crap if I do that as I will just get the feels.

Going to eat ice cream.

falaff I don't think you're in the right frame of mind to be doing this right now.

falaff how about messaging him and just being honest. I would probably say ' I stupidly judged you before we met but found you to be so lovely and really the kind of guy I could be looking for. can we see where this goes and put a smiley face'.

This is why it's never a good idea to exchange too many messages or chat for more than a week, two at most falaff. You either over invest or put them in a friends box.

However, it doesn't sound like all is lost. Why not have an honest chat with him and tell him seeing him in the flesh has made you think about him differently and see what he says. He obviously likes you and might just be saying what he thinks you want to hear?

Comedy - Do you have to put your face on FabSwingers or even tell the truth in your profile, if it's just for laughs?

Good grief, lots of action getting reported on here

Well I had two months of rubbish dating, she was happy to agree to exclusivity while cutting out intimacy and being unable to be honest about her feelings. I can't blame her as she wasn't being honest about her feelings to herself either. I'm only disappointed I didn't dump her first.

So after that crap, back to OLD. The one (Ms Hilarious) I had been dating before the 'exclusivity' kicked in said she was happy to see me again after some explanation

Meanwhile I'd lined up further irons, first date with Ms Rural last Sunday and two more next weekend, so was feeling much better already!

Ms Rural was ok, but first date conversation felt slightly like hard work, not sure there is enough of a spark. Agreed to see each other in two weeks after her holiday conveniently giving time to see other irons first

Then it was Ms Hilarious again this evening, third date after going slowly. Basically it was brilliant. I've never met someone who completely shared my sense of humour, we seem to spend the entire time cracking each other up, even or especially about difficult or awkward topics. So a huge mental connection. Then a juicy snog at the end of the evening. Looking forward to the next rendezvous next week LOTS.

Definitely not putting my eggs into one basket just yet though, so keeping going with the other dates too.

Hope y'all have a great weekend

As us Mum's with kids on the spectrum would say - if you know one person with Autism, you know one person! They are all have different strengths. It's natural you are cautious given your history tho.

Ok, so someone is going to help me through double dating.

I've never in my life chatted to more than one person at a time and now I'm chatting to quite a few and potentially 2 dates next week. That I've tried to push back, as I'm unsure on this double dating malarkey

I sound 12, you wouldn't think I was over 40 👀😂

😂😂 comedyboobs that's brilliant, I just laughed inappropriately loudly on the train.

Rich, sounds like you are in a great place, good to hear :)

Falaff do you think you could talk to him about it? Tell him you freaked a bit because of past issues with your ex perhaps?

tooold I don't have any photos on the Fab site & have a very basic profile which reads somewhere along the lines of: woman looking for man for FWB.

In real life I have a professional job, but I also model part time so it would be easy with a bit of jiggerypokery for anyone to track me down.

Yeah. I'm a complete idiot. We had a laugh about it though and he admitted he probably overstated some stuff too. It's not as bad as I've made out but I'm just quite cautious after two shitty relationships and I've done quite a bit of internet dating where they don't turn out how you expect, but usually the other way, and I was surprised.

@ComedyBoobs why do you say that? I really enjoyed meeting someone I liked. I've moped aound for a few months and I'm feeling really good and pretty empowered right now.

@TooOldForThis67 I honestly don't know if he likes me now that he's met me! I would have said yes but I'm probably being hopeful. I completely get what you say about overinvesting, this was the opposite though, I was dreading meeting as I thought it would just be another date where I don't feel anything for the other person. But I just really liked him!

My last post sounded really rude - sorry

I meant; can someone help me. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Marc - all that sounds pretty normal for OLD, lol. Your MsHilarious sounds great but I understand seeing other irons helps you not to over invest.
lifegoes - Yeah, double dating. That got me into a pickle at the beginning of this thread! It works well if you don't like one or either of them but when you like both ...... My problem was that mine were both local so if your's are not, then, go for it! Enjoy.