Am I a “slut”?

[SShaming]

NC because I’m a regular MNer and don’t want people to know!

I have been single for the first time in over a decade.

This past year has been filled with dates, almost relationships and generally testing the waters again.

One of my dating partners turned into a FWB. And recently I met someone who is lovely but a lot younger than me and so I have zero expectations of it turning into anything serious.

I am having no strings sex with both men. Not exactly regularly with either but enough for me to feel that my sex drive is being satisfied.

Neither men have asked to be exclusive and I have been completely upfront that I’m just having fun after a difficult LTR.

However, I told my sister about it and she was really shocked and asked whether I was worried about being a slut!

I was annoyed by her use of language but at the same time wondered if there is something in what she is saying.

I hate that word.

I would say as long as all parties know the score and you're being safe and taking care of your sexual health, go for it.

You are NOT a slut ( shame on your sister) You are a fully functioning woman making your own honest choices. Tell her to go to hell! Seriously. Enjoy your life and have fun.

Slut is a horrible word used to control female sexuality through shame. If your happy, being safe, and honest about the situation with your partners, you’re doing nothing wrong. Carry on having fun!

As with numerous other things, your body your choice. Good for you taking control and ensuring you’re satisfied. Nobody is being harmed, the men are consensual and you have been honest with them.

Enjoy yourself!

No of course you aren’t - I’m surprised at your sister for judging you by some outdated misogynist stereotype.

Tell your sister to haul her attitudes into this millennium.
You sound like you are living an adults life, how could that be wrong?

Well that would make the men sluts too? Or is that different?

No you are not a slut. It sounds like you have been upfront with the two men. But I think you should ask yourself whether either is hoping for something longer term, even if they have not said so, as you could be unknowingly stringing them along.

Also if you were to fall pregnant, would you know who the father was, and what would happen.

STIs needs thinking about as mentioned by a PP.

Of course you aren’t and shame on your sister for calling you it. Controlling derogatory word.

My take on the word slut is more the 'couldn't care less attitude' rather than being sexually active with whom ever you chose

One thing to do it, another to shout it from the roof tops

You have nothing to be ashamed of - my sister is similar and it's a much healthier attitude

I thought that word had gone out with the Ark.

Your life and your choice..

Who are you hurting? No one.

Are you doing what feels right, and being honest? Yes.

‘Slut’ is a misogynistic hate word. You should feel pity for your sister, because she has internalised the language of patriarchal oppression. Do not let her affect you.

Christ, who cares? Are you happy? Is your treatment of others decent? That's what matters, not what labels small minded eejits want to put on you. I feel sorry for your sister and her limited perspective.

There is no such thing as a slut, so you can't be one.

No.

Now enjoy your life and challenge your sister on her use of the misogynistic word 'slut' rather than doubting yourself.

As long as you are using condoms and are safe, I really see no issue. You are a sexually active adult woman. Your sister needs to ask herself why she's such a misogynist.

Slut is a hateful word used to put women down and make them ashamed of their own sexuality. You are an autonomous adult making the decision to enjoy your own sexuality. That’s all.

I presume she also called the men having no-strings sex sluts? What, she didn't? What a surprise.

Slut is a misogynist term used to denigrate and control female sexuality.

I thought this was going to be about not doing the housework!

Ring your sister and tell her that you are not a slut, you are a slag and proud of it!

[Grin]

fail!

Your sister is being silly. You're happy and that's what matters.
In fact, once I separate from H, I will only be looking for this kind of arrangement. Who needs all the drama of 'proper' relationship?

I was called a slut recently on Snapchat by a guy - framed as some kind of weird compliment. I blocked him and haven’t spoken to him since.
It’s a horrible word.
You are definitely not a slut. Enjoy yourself. Why not?

I really hate that word.
I think as long as your honest with both parties & being safe then there's no issue with it. Fair enough it may not be the relationships your sister would choose but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy with your own choices.

So your openly non exclusively dating two men. Both of whom you have told that it's not serious for you and your sleeping with both of them.

Why ever would anyone think that there was a problem with that! You are an adult and you are single and you are not hiding it from anyone involved so they are able to make a choice to be ok with that and have other partners themselves.

Of course your not a slut.

The only comment I have is I hope you are using contraceptives that will protect you from sti's as the chances are higher the more partners you have.