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Original poster

Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

997 replies

InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:26

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 13/05/2017 18:35

why do men put they are average build when they are technically obese?

Well....obese is becoming the average, isn't it?

educationforlife · 13/05/2017 19:03

Have pmd you just

justmeand2DC · 13/05/2017 19:14

heartbroken you are 10 years younger than me! I think it is just a numbers game as everyone says. I was feeling a bit despondent last night because it's my birthday next month and I had hoped to be in a relationship by then to be able to celebrate it as a couple rather than yet another year of celebrating with my DC or friends (the last few years with XP we were really living separate lives so it's at least 5 years since I have had any romance on my birthday). If things had lasted with Mr Outdoors then we would have been together for 4 months by then.

Out to I have no idea what any of these definitions actually mean apart from thin and stocky! I put my build down on GSM as curvy as there was another option that seemed to equal large build and my BMI is in the healthy range but I've never thought of myself as slim. But Mr Outdoors was surprised that I'd chosen curvy as he said "but you've got a really nice figure".

I have now changed my build to slim on my profile as I am actually size 8 although very short and many people in their 50's are overweight so maybe I do count as slim although not compared to many of the 20-somethings I work with

OutToGetYou · 13/05/2017 19:34

I think size 8 is slim. But 'curvy' is a nice figure - no idea what he meant!

I'm a 14 and 5'7", overweight on the BMI thing now.....and I cannot address it until I've moved, I don't have the headspace to think about it right now. Can't remember what I put though.

heartbroken40 · 13/05/2017 19:46

Justme, thanks I am normally quite impatient and I feel stupid that I ruined it with this guy.

I am really really tiny (5' 4'', size 6). I had a terrible disappointment with a man a few months ago and I lost 10 pounds since then and I can't eat, so I am worried that I come across almost emaciated which is not a good look.

I am trying to force myself to eat but the stress of my life is such that I am struggling.

Has anyone tried proper dating agencies like high end or so? I don't want a millionaire I just want a clever, decent, honest man.

countryside8 · 13/05/2017 20:18

Your not old heartbroken40 but I'm like you I don't think I'm suited to online dating. It's cut throat. It's all about looks too and just shallow. Trust me it's worse if you happen to be gay!

countryside8 · 13/05/2017 20:20

Dating agencies just prey on people who want to find the right person. I'd say spend money on yourself and do things you enjoy not give it to an agency. I would say agencies are no better than Internet dating.

rockabillyruby82 · 13/05/2017 20:23

Hey, I'm new to this thread. I've been umming and ahhing over posting in 'relationships' but I'll post here and hopefully get some feedback!!
There's a guy I really like, I've known him for just over a year and was attracted to him instantly. When I first met him I was kind of involved with someone (that someone is how we met). Anyway, fast forward 1 year, previous relationship long, long gone and I see this guy. And jeez, the butterflies in my tummy! I didn't think he'd notice me but I kept catching him looking at me, a few caught eyes and I later had a catch up with him. The evening ended bad with a bit of drama and I left early without saying goodbye. I sent him a FR on FB, he accepted and we had a little chat which ended with me. Since then we've chatted twice more, nothing said implies to me he likes me too. Or maybe it does? He called me 'sweet'
Anyway, we're at the same social event next weekend, an all day thing. Guys, what should I do???

RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 20:38

I was just about to say the same as pavonia info. You dont know each other yet so owe each other nothing. She may have had any number of reasons not to continue the conversation. If you'd already met and she disappeared then thats another matter but right now, just sliw it right down. If she comes back, be chatty and funny; if not, she's not interested and there's nothing you can do apart from wear her down. Grin

She may be nervous. She may be unused to OLD. She may be caring for a suck child. She may have fallen asleep. The list is endless. Dont guve up. Remember - it's a numbers game.

RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 20:38

sick

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 13/05/2017 20:53

Rise so you advise against sending her a message. Just back off and see if she comes back?

OP posts:
RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 20:54

rockabilyruby Go to the event and flirt with him. Leave the rest up to him. He may not want to date a friend's ex though and the sweet comment needs context. What was the drama? Was it between the two of you?

Speaking of overweight 'average' men, one of my irons disappeared for 4 months then turned up out of the blue 4 stone heavier (he said he'd put 30kg of winter weight on but now summer was here he'd lose it.) Confused

Lovemusic33 · 13/05/2017 20:54

Just had to report the guy that has been stalking me on POF, keeps setting up new accounts, sending me abuse and then blocks me. Claiming that people are talking about me on the forums and that I'm a cock tease ( lovely ), his messages are getting quite abusive and nasty.
I don't know what forums he is referring too? Is there a POF forum?

RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 21:02

info I would for a day or two yes. Maybe try again on Monday (send her something funny). Somebody is doing this with me at the moment and I like his persistence in the face of my indifference! I admire it as he's not getting stroppy, he's just gently amusing me as the weeks go by. He's very attractive & charming (we've met) but we have nothing in common so I'd rather persue other options but still, he makes me smile ... Dont give up on OLD, just maybe change your pictures, expand your search or update your profile; this will often trigger the sites' algorythms to move you closer to the top of the search results.

RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 21:05

livemusic what an utter knob. Can the site block his IP address? What's his problem? does he know where you live? Yes, I think there's a POF forum or there was a while ago. Ask the mods to delete any references to you (or all his posts).

rockabillyruby82 · 13/05/2017 21:27

I can't really detail too much. The drama was a fight my sister had.
The sweet comment was in relation to me listening to his radio broadcast, at the time I wasn't sure if he was being condescending or paying me a compliment!
Why is it so hard to know if a guy is into you?
I've got a terrible history, I actually thought I was done with men! It's been a very long time since I last was this attracted to someone

rockabillyruby82 · 13/05/2017 21:30

And I'm rubbish at flirting Confused

Lovemusic33 · 13/05/2017 21:34

Rise this is the 3rd time I have reported him, 2nd time he has set up a new profile. I have found the forum but can't find anything ( though I guess it's hard to find ). If he doesn't back off I will just send someone to his work place to give him a little reminder to back off.

Mr Boat is trying hard to get me not his boat, it is tempting but I don't like the idea of driving almost an hour away and then feel the need to stay if I don't really like him. A couple years ago I would have just gone but I'm a lot more careful these days.

Bant · 13/05/2017 21:37

lovemusic - while it's obviously hugely unethical, you do have a pubic forum here with lots of people who, I'm sure, would love to send the wanker a message. I'm sure the same message coming from a dozen different profiles at same time would unnerve him a bit.

I'd happily send him a nice friendly message asking him to leave the site.

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 13/05/2017 21:50

Gosh, Love - that's incredibly unpleasant. Can you talk to the police about it - it's deranged behaviour and no one deserves that kind of crap

educationforlife · 13/05/2017 21:50

Love Mr Boat?
Could it be the one I called Mr ? because he had dodgy written all over his posts?
Barge on the river Thames with a stately home in France by any chance?
If it is, I would stay well away.
I cancelled POF because I was a bit freaked out.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 13/05/2017 21:55

LM what Bant said.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 13/05/2017 21:56

Not the same one but probably just as dodgy. I seem to attract men that live in cannal boats, he has no money or house in France, just a run down old cannal boat Grin.

Lovemusic33 · 13/05/2017 21:58

I can't find him on the forums, have searched his user name but nothing comes up but this could be because he has changed user names so many times?

RiseandGrind · 13/05/2017 22:01

rockabillyruby that's a tough situation then. I'd generally just stay in his orbit then and slowly charm him.

lovemusic I remember you first posting about him. How awful. I'm loving bant's evil suggestion that we mob him on POF. Grin

education what on earth did he do? dish the dirt please.