Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Love have you searched for your username on there?

LM sounds much better than my Mr ? :D
I too will support anti creep movement.

I have searched my user name and nothing comes up.

I'm happy to message people his user name if they want to message him on POF or if anyone wants to take the piss out of his profile as it's quite awful.

Didn't do anything Rise because the wise people here stopped me setting off to meet him!
Said he had a chateau and a houseboat.
Asked nothing about me AT ALL except when was I coming to his boat.
Oh - I am not 12 really, promise :D

LM we could all report him to POF telling your story. That might make them check it out.

That seems to be taking the bumper sticker 'my other car is a porsche' to a whole new level, education

And 'what time are you coming to my boat?"

Yeah, that's weird

LM what an absolute idiot doing that. Blocking and reporting definitely the starting point. I know it's difficult but the sites need to do more to stop this sort of behaviour. I had similar just after Xmas, he would send me the most abusive message calling me all kinds of names, I immediately blocked and reported and then he would set up another and do exactly the same. Thankfully, he stopped after the second time but it's disgusting.

So.... reports from my second date with Mr City. I have my answers to his home set up, in his mind it's definitely over, I'm not so sure his wife is fully there yet though as he told me his eldest daughter found his online dating app and went absolutely mental at him, told her mother who also went mental at him. He told her that he's ready to move on and she's calmed down now but still very difficult.
They are coming to the end of a refurb before selling up and they obviously haven't divorced yet.

He's a nice enough guy but I don't know if I like him enough to deal with all that really. He told me he went on a date Friday night but didn't expand. I can't decide whether he wants to find something serious or likes the idea of dating - he gave the standard answer of "I'm just taking things as they come"

I honestly don't know what to do.

Ruby sounds like trouble. If you don't mind taking a chance fair enough, but probably best to assume it will only be something casual at best. I imagine he will be doing a lot of looking around before making any commitment.

Oh my goodness, i love this thread - so many experiences are resonating with me which is comforting.

However I must remember to check it daily, as there is lots to read and catch up with!

Had a date yesterday with MrSpecs who I had really high hopes for. His nerves really put me off which is a bit mean of me. Will meet again and see what happens.

Ruby I agree with Pav he is probably enjoying looking into his options and unlikely to be able to settle for one relationship. Could be fun for a few dates / friendship.

I'm confused about my iron, sometimes it feels great and other times more like friends. I don't know if it's me or him or just something missing. Most of what we walk about is general and doesn't involve emotions. When we make decisions it's very practical and I think he comes from a very practical viewpoint. I'm quite an emotional person, but find it hard to share this with him. I've just got to try haven't I?

Thank you! Having read my post back I've decided I don't like him enough to get involved with all that and no spark (again!) so I'd be forcing it so not for me! I thought maybe I'd give it time but I know from my previous relationships I know very early on if there's a spark or not and I'm not prepared to just settle for the sake of it.

Back online I go again!

Love music33 this has happened to me with three different men on POF with same MO. Harassment then you block & report and they create new accounts and continue to harrass . I suggest hiding your profile for a bit so he can't find you. I'm happy to assist with doing a reverse and mobbing his account. Although he'd probably love the attention.

I was subjected to a bit of abuse yesterday exchanged numbers with a bloke, and he called me for a chat. He asked me to send a photo, I said no there's loads on my profile. But he wanted a better look at my body . I said no and he went into a full blown rant describing my refusal as selfish and clearly demonstrating that I've got low self esteem issues, and I'm effectively trying to force him into a blind date situation. I just said "wow" ended the call & blocked his number. He claims to be ex-millitary, currently works part-time for the police (?) and he's an engineer. Another knob bites the dust!

Ruby I would deffo steer clear, sounds like he hasn't properly ended his marriage. Another liar liar pants on fire. You'll be named as the OW

Nurse that guy sounds absolutely nuts. Some people continue to shock, when you think you've heard it all!!

The normal, nice guys on OLD think we are being difficult if we don't want to give out our number too soon, or share certain personal information. I think some of the stories on this thread demonstrate why we are careful.

Nurse it's a good job you found out what he is like before meeting.

Morning all. I've not posted for a while. All ticking along nicely with wildcard, though I'm struggling a little bit with some separate mental health issues at the moment. He's just confirmed we are going on a comedy night which is in three weeks time, so he obviously feels like it's going well too. I'm feeling a bit rough at the moment, so some friendly chat on here will do the trick!
nurse what a horrible experience. I don't understand why some people think it's ok to act like this.
Lana I guess time will tell with your iron. It's definitely worth giving it a try.

Faron three weeks ahead! That is commitment ! Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks far and I'm sorry to hear about your MH issues. MH issues are why I doubt my decisions and led me from trying too long in my marriage (him leaving for OW was blessing in disguise). Now with dating I am trying to be clear on whether things are right for me, but when my perspective is off it can be harder.

Do you know how is wildcard with MH issues? I don't often talk about it in RL, and wonder how an iron would be about it my exH was less than supportive .

Lovemusic Lovemusic there really are some weird & nasty people on on-line dating sites.

Farontothe your wildcard sounds good.

ruby that would be a no from me. I got involved with someone who was 'separated but living together' and it turned into hell on wheels.

nurse you had a lucky escape there. Some of these people are so entitled. Some men just gather photographs of women best not to think about what they do with them. A watermark is a good idea to stop them being used for other purposes.

pavonia - i think the normal, nice guys on OLD understand why a woman may be reluctant to give out her number or share too much info early on. With so many knobs around, we've got to show that we're actually decent types.

nurse - lucky escape. I think some men view OLD as an extension of porn webcam sites. Best to find out if he's like that early on, I suppose

Wildcard knows about it. His sister has depression so he's pretty good with me, though I don't lean on him at this stage.

nurse that sounds horrible. I don't know why some men think that's acceptable behaviour.

Lovemusic I still have my fake POF profile so I'm happy to send something to the idiot who's harassing you.

Spent last night with Mr Gym. He's just left as he's got work to do today. He spent last night planning lots of evenings out & places to go that should keep us busy for the rest of the year! It's only been about 6 weeks but feels like we've known each other a lot longer.

Sorry meant to write lovemusic and nurse
Note to self: wear your glasses.

Runsforcake MrGym = a keeper!

Lettucesoup I hope so. For someone who said they didn't want a serious relationship he seems even more smitten than I am. Even if it doesn't last more than a few months Mr Gym has does wonders for my self esteem. I'm just enjoying the moment.