Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Of course ask. I live with ex still (in my house) and it's a pain, it I'm not bothered if people ask about it.

Definitely ask about it. I think it's a common fib for men whose wives aren't actually aware that they're 'separated'

De-lurking to say I agree you should ask.
I once dated a guy who revealed his living with soon-to-be ex wife arrangements. At the time I never heard of this before (I was young), and he claimed to be in a well paid job. So my questioning his motives behind his living arrangements when he could afford to move out shamed him into making the move. He moved out after a month of us dating.

Well I've bitten the bullet and started talking to people! I currently have 2 irons Mr Ink and Mr Hotel and I think Mr Clay is about to join them!
I've already agreed to meet Mr Ink next weekend for a coffee, I'm worrying that if the other two want to meet up as well it will get a bit complicated!
How many irons would you talk to/date at any one point?
Will also be needing advice on dating as I've never done it!! Only been in one relationship (that lasted 33 years!) and that started in school!!!

I'm pulling out of OLD for a while, can't be doing with it.

Had a conversation going with Miss Chic. Going super well, she even said I was making her laugh already and it was good. Conversation last night going well and then just nothing from 7pm. I can see she was on last night and today. If she was fuck yes, she'd have kept talking.

Part of me wants to ask her for research purposes what went wrong but I won't lower myself. I'd love to have known.

I was already thinking of backing out and now it's what I want to do. Had enough of it all.

All good though, this isn't a feeling sorry for myself message, just a this isn't for me anymore message ☺️.

She might have been online just to read messages but not felt able to reply, Info. I wouldn't write her off yet.

Possibly but the way it was going, she would have replied last night if she'd wanted to. She was just at home with her young daughter so she was able to.

I would love to know what happened though as it was going so well.

info I've got one like that. We were chatting on Thursday and he seemed to be hinting that we should meet up. I messaged him yesterday and nothing. He's been online yesterday and today. He already disappeared on me before and when he reappeared I decided to give him another chance. Not this time.

So weird isn't it. As much as I'd love to know, there is nothing to gain from it so I won't ask. Even if she did reply it could be a softened response so it's not helpful research anyway.

I was already thinking I'd had enough anyway, this just makes sure of it really.

Would be interested in knowing how long people give someone and allow it to be reasonable? Let's say for example, she replies on Monday like it was just a flow. Would you reply or think nah, something else has gone wrong and now she's come back to me?

Info if she popped up again on Monday I would just carry on as you seemed really interested in her. If she had got distracted by someone else does it really matter at this very early stage in the proceedings? It isn't really a reflection of how she feels about you as you don't know each other yet.

I sometimes don't reply because I have run out of interesting things to say. It's hard to keep thinking up stuff to talk about that isn't just 'today I was at work, tomorrow I will be doing laundry'.

Mind you, blokes often just go quiet on me, I assume they've moved on and I move on too.

info I have no idea, maybe she thinks she's replied and hasn't? That's what happened a few tines with Mr Xbox but I knew it wasn't going past friendship so wasn't bothered.

educationforlife the floor downstairs is laminate so there would be a trail of muddy paw prints. I've cleaned them up enough, usually just after I've cleaned the downstairs floor as, sod's law, it usually rains just after.

I think because my intent is to find a relationship that could last for the remainder of time, I'm put off if someone doesn't seem as keen.

Let's just say I did roll with the idea that she'd thought she'd messaged already or whatever. What would you say if you sent a follow up tomorrow or something? I'd never ask why she hadn't messaged but is it best to just continue the previous conversation or just do a hope your weekend is good special?

I'd go with the latter; I'm looking for a LTR too so not sent a 2nd message. Did with my FB but obviously not with a view to a relationship!

I do think I've replied sometimes but 1.my memory is terrible 2. I have 2 mobiles and use FB messenger on both so have thought I'd replied to a friend on one and not. Never been asked tho.

Fankoo, will have a think about it and might drop something tomorrow evening.

Deffo gonna stop using it beyond that though, it's time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Mr I'm so cool, who at 57, has set his age range for women as 25 to 35.
The latest prize addition to GSM. I have no words.

He's gonna have to have a few zeros on his account to pull that one off.

I have never wanted an older man, my FB was 29 and my last 2 dates were 31 and 29. Think it helps that apparently I look 24/5. My age range for searches is 29-37 although ideally I would prefer up to 35.
So Mr I'm so cool wouldn't get anywhere with me or any women I know in that age range!

Can I please ask you for some advice (especially from the men on the thread?). Had a date with a guy who sounds like a bit of a player.

The date went incredibly well and he asked me to see him again. I was about to go when we kissed and I asked him to come up for some cuddles but no sex.

We kept kissing outside for a while and then he went and he disappeared, didn't mention meeting up again etc.

He likes the "chase" and I feel that once he had that he wasn't interested any more. I should have played hard to get, I guess.

I am not upset just want to understand better if possible. Thanks in advance!

Info I would send another brief message soon that goes along with the other messages. She may have been distracted by other things and you haven't met so at the moment you won't be a priority. It isn't letting yourself down it's raising your opportunity. When I have had periods of writing to multiple men the ones that write more do catch my attention. Funnily enough my current iron and I can go most of the day without messaging, but I'm finding that easier than getting the regular "are you ok?" messages that I got from previous iron.

Heartbroken you may have answered your own question - he likes the chase!

Thanks Lana, so many games to play in this dating world. Never mind, I learnt my lesson.

education yes I saw Mr Cool looking for 25-35 also. He does look good for 57 but will be ruled out of many women's search criteria on the basis of being only 5 feet 9 - let alone the age range! Although he is affluent so that may help. Good to see he is optimistic about finding someone.

education yes I am in London and would love to compare notes. I went out for a coffee with Mr Professor this afternoon. As I thought I didn't fancy him - he is 10 years older than me and overweight - why do men put they are average build when they are technically obese? Mr Outdoors has a bit of a belly but at least was honest and chose stocky build. However I am glad I went as he was fun to chat to and knows the dating rules - keep first date to an hour and don't ask about second date until later. Also we went to a lovely restaurant called Ottolenghi for cake and coffee and he wouldn't let me pay half. He has messaged to say would I like to meet again and I think I would although only as friends.

So far in 4 out of 4 dates I have been on from GSM the guy has wanted to see me again so maybe I come across better in person than in my profile. However there has only been one, Mr Outdoors, that I have fancied. I capitulated to Mr Teacher's request to speak on the phone first and messaged him my number saying that I would chat on the phone if he was too busy to meet. He has been back online after 2 days and read my message this afternoon but no response. So I think he may be seeing someone else and I am on the reserve list.

Ditto what Lana said Heartbroken

I'm puzzled by it all, not sure I should feel better (as I'm being proactive) as my mum has been on at me to try OLD for over a year. But hey ho!

Thanks All, I don't really know if I am suited to online dating. Problem is, I am quite old (40) and I work with either married men (who are obviously off limits for me as I want a long term partner) or with very young guys.

I go to the gym but normally do yoga so not many men there. Where else am I supposed to meet these potential partners?

My friends are not being too helpful either. So it is either online dating or being single. So difficult!