Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

997 replies

InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:26

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2017 20:40

He replied 😁😁

justmeand2DC · 15/05/2017 20:43

And??

Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2017 20:46

We are messaging still, no date set but he said he would like to meet up, sent me a photo of himself (as tasteful one).

MadameGlamour · 15/05/2017 20:53

"if you want someone of the same age to be interested they have to have something that makes them less appealing to the majority of women i.e. very overweight or short or ethnic minority."

HmmHmmHmm

justmeand2DC · 15/05/2017 20:55

I didn't mean to offend, it was following on from someone's comments upthread that said that it had been shown that ethnic minority men had more problems with OLD

justmeand2DC · 15/05/2017 20:56

In response to my comment that I was getting interest from older Caucasian men but younger (35-45) Asian and black men

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 15/05/2017 20:57

I have to say I've never found age an issue. I'm 36, wildcard is 32. Last ex is 33. I don't find it a problem at all and usually end up with slightly younger men. Maybe it's certain sites.

Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2017 21:01

I get the same just, messages from younger ethnic men and older white men.

Mr Facebook is only a year older than me, I usually date older ( a lot older ).

MadameGlamour · 15/05/2017 21:02

Maybe seeing it as less of a compromise on an unappealing characteristic and more of simply something as meaningless as eye colour will increaseyour chances of happy dating...

I mean, you fancy who you fancy, but lumping ethnicity in with overweight as an unappealing characteristic is problematic.

Pavonia · 15/05/2017 21:04

Lovemusic excellent! Suggest a day!

Justme perhaps it is just more obvious on GSM because my list of so called matches does not take into account their age preferences. On OKC you can set the search to only show people that are searching for someone your age.

Pavonia · 15/05/2017 21:11

Faron maybe it becomes more of a problem in our forties and later when the men hit their midlife crisis. Obviously there will always be exceptions. Of the people I have dated so far the only one that I went on a second date with was 3 years younger than me. I think it makes sense to be with someone within a few years of my own age in general, as we are more likely to be at the same life stage. Too much older and some of them are retired. Much younger and they may be wanting kids.

justmeand2DC · 15/05/2017 21:12

Madame you are right, unappealing was the wrong word to use for all of those attributes, as you say they are simply filters that people use to choose who to date and a subset of people will actively seek out people with those characteristics. Should I ask for the post to be deleted as I can see that it could be construed as offensive.

Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2017 21:12

I don't like dating overweight men, don't mind if they are tall and a bit chunky but not obese.

Allthembuckets · 15/05/2017 21:23

OKC keeps not working for me, it did that a while ago then seemed to sort itself out.

Yes LM Mr Facebook sounds the way to go!

I've had 2 dates with guys I met on POF 29 and 31. The date this Thursday is also a guy from POF but 37.

I have been chatting with a local gut on POF but he called me "hun" in the last 2 messages... makes my teeth itch and haven't replied, not sure of a polite way of saying please don't call me that.

Allthembuckets · 15/05/2017 21:24

*guy I hate autocorrect!

countryside8 · 15/05/2017 21:31

The amount of crap you have to sift through to find someone half decent on websites is awful. I've resigned myself to the rest of my life single and I know 34 isn't old but I just bored of the dating scene. I joined an outdoor interest group and the gym so I'm doing things that make me feel good.
Good luck to those that continue with websites.
I don't see it as giving up by deleting apss/sites and if something isn't working why continue doing the same thing hoping to achieve a different outcome.
I tried Eharmony and Match and found them no better than the free ones.

countryside8 · 15/05/2017 21:33

Do you ever video chat prior to meeting people online via Skype or Face time? Anyone found it a better indication of having chemistry in person?

OutToGetYou · 15/05/2017 21:39

Well, I blocked MrOi, it was just one Oi too many!

fortunacookie · 15/05/2017 23:36

Ah well another bites the dust Sad

Managed five weeks with mr private n saw each other a lot in that time n even had weekend away...sex was really good, had really good laughs but yet still didn't work

I don't think the right one is out there Hmm

Bluegirl25 · 16/05/2017 07:31

Oh no Fortuna what happened? Hope you're ok. There will be someone out there for you x

Lovemusic33 · 16/05/2017 07:32

What happened fortuna ?

Mr Facebook messaged me first thing this morning, hopefully we can set a date later for next week.

Haven't heard much from Mr Boat and nothing from Mr Machanic.

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 16/05/2017 09:07

Sorry to hear that, fortuna. Any indication as to why?

I've not been back online for a while now - wanting to see how it pans out with The Nurse. We're just about to hit the 3 month mark of chatting and just over the two month mark of dating but that means nothing going by so many experiences I've read about from others. I'm not sure I'll bother if it doesn't work out: so many truly unappealing matches to trawl through, so many weirdos.

LanaDReye · 16/05/2017 09:20

Missmove ignore friends saying it's moving too quickly. If you're enjoying it and he's being nice then you just have to go with it?

Having said that, although I'm still seeing my iron I have "been here done that before" assumed it could be long term for it to fail at 2 month stage so I'm half expecting it to end in a month and other half is enjoying it.

Fortuna did you initiate or agree with reason behind ending it? just wondering if he's had cold feet and may be resolved or if you agree too

rockabillyruby82 · 16/05/2017 09:45

I have to say I can't get on with OLD.
All the men I've dated (married one) in the last 8 years I've met online and most of them there was no initial attraction, a few grew on me (EXH inc). And I really don't want that anymore!
I want butterflies in the tummy, that 'spark' and can't stop thinking about them.
I kinda feel like the chances of getting that with OLD are slim Sad

lettucesoup · 16/05/2017 10:17

Missmove it sounds like things are going really well, best to ignore your cynical friend.
I hope you are okay Fortuna
Lovemusic Mr Facebook sounds great, keep us posted.

I am meant to be on date number 2 tomorrow (date has been away with work since 1st date)