Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Corydora - my swiping criteria:

No to naked torso shots
No to blokes with no profile info
No to cliches like 'easy going/fun loving'
No to 'School of Hard Knocks' or 'University of Life' in education section
No to pics with attractive/young/pissed women draped all over man
No to drugged tigers
No to gasping carp
No to pics of sunsets, dogs, cats, motorbikes but no pics of the man
No to pics of tattooed biceps (with no face pics)
No to profile copy that sounds bitter, ridiculously choosy ("petite blondes only!") or aggrieved about OLD (erm, stop doing it if it pains you that much)
No to blokes trying to look like tough high rollin' gangsta with cigar or spliff

Picky, much?

I don't think I actually want someone 'fun loving', it sounds asinine!

I agree with your list. I called out a guy recently who messaged me but his profile was all negative about the women who don't respond (after describing himself as 'laid back'!). I said whining about women not responding is not likely to encourage women to respond, it makes us feel uncomfortable whatever we do. He also said he wanted someone 'feminine and fragrant'. I said I wasn't sure I could live up to his expectations and good luck! He did amend his profile quite a bit.

Apple PMSL @ sweeping criteria and agree with everything if you're picky so am I

I'm just trying to work out if 'gasping carp' is a euphemism

Out
I think you might have missed me, I missed some of the thread as I was off doing late night housework.
Note to self, get out more!

Oh god, the carp!!! Not a euphemism, I think - the photos?

Men. Grasping carp. So many large fish being molested. Their silent eyes imploring you for mercy.

Bant - you can let your imagination run wild re gasping carp/floundering cat fish/expiring perch/perishing pike.

Also - I like your list Appleblossom!!!

Apple I'm picky too in that case!

Half the time I'd rather date the fish than the man grasping the gasping carp. I'm sure some of the poor fish have been on different profiles...you start to recognise their faces.

If you're planning to meet up IRL will you still keep this thread going? It's been cathartic reading knowing I'm not alone trying to navigate this so-called dating malarkey

Oh yes, the fish. Why the fish, why?

Mind you, I saw Bant's list of stuff on women's profiles on another thread and I suppose their fish is our cupcake? No cupcakes on my profile.

Sorry Lettuce! The group message doesn't work anyway it seems. I'll have a think how else to do it. There is a meet up section on MN but not sure it's any different to just being another board (might be fun if the DM turned up though).

Have I missed these pictures of fish or just bleached them from my memory?

Sent a reply Out

Oh yes Nurse! Of course.

Thank you Cover, that's nice of you to say.

Here is a short list of the things I reject in a profile, probably why I never message anyone 😂😂

Just ask
Will fill in later
Job = none of your business
Job = I have one
Car = No or Prefer not to say
Pictures with drinking in every pic
Pictures looking like the clampets.
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Profile filled with what they don't want.
Profile filled with passive aggression.
Sob stories of being hurt and married men blah.
Anyone who self declares as attractive.
Awful chav sounding phrases such as 'jog on' or the twat in tin foil one.

There will be more I'm sure ha ha.

I thought Corydora might like a chap with a John Dory though? No?

Buckets - the fish are out in force on Tinder.

Infosec - oh wow YES. Great list.

InfoSec21 what are clampets? I'm pretty much the same although sometimes feel it's harsh on grammar/spelling grounds as I get messages from friends etc that can fall foul, although generally not.

I'd ignore the car one and probably the job one, I guess people just don't want to say (though "I have one" comes over as trying to be a bit too clever).

I'd hate my profile to sound like other people's so I note all those little clichés and make sure I don't have them.

@OutToGetYou I prefer my fish in tanks, not being molested by strange faced men in extremely practical trousers :)

@AppleBlossomTimeNow Some of them DO look familiar!

Apple I definitely haven't seen fish pictures on Tinder! I tend to swipe left at any hint of fishing though as it is definitely not something I would enjoy doing and I'm not a teenager/in my early 20s and happy to sit and get drunk.

I can overlook a typo or two (I'm not immune myself!). But any "should of"s get binned.

@InfoSec21

This is also an excellent list.

I might not bother with actual dating and just start collecting lists.

The clampets. Well. Imagine if you had a family at the end of the street that had an overgrown garden, clapped out old eyesore caravan on the drive and just generally looked like they didn't give a shit. I avoid people that look like that.