Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I've just cancelled tomorrow's date. I was feeling like he wanted me to sleep with him. I did consider it but I can't do it. Casual sex isn't me at all.

He's just been really nice and we've agreed to take sex off the table, so to speak. I feel better now.

iusedtobe that's great that you've renegotiated and he's happy to do so, sounds like he's interest in you for more. Well done for not going ahead with something you were not comfortable with

Thank you. I don't think I'm interested in a relationship with him really (plus he's moving to Canada in six months) but I definitely didn't feel ready to have sex. I made a few promises to myself and it raising my self esteem to enforce them. 1) I don't pursue men who are not showing at least an equal level of interest. If they don't confirm a date or text, I make other plans. 2) I never ever go back to someone who has rejected me in any way and 3) I don't do anything I'm not comfortable with and I make what I want clear

Well done Iused...I'll follow your promises too!

Remember that must have hurt after 16 years :(

Blocking an ex is easier said then done sometimes...my bastard one had the cheek to text after over a year...I previously blocked then unblocked then blocked then unblocked previously ..God knows why...for the torture I guess...I didn't respond...he must be one of the worst tight fisted liars that has walked on this planet!

I had a date which was a nice day and which he added at the end of the day...I thought he may text but nothing four days after...I'm not really bothered there was no real chemistry and he mentioned he was tight..I can't do that again...my ex has put me off from any man remotely tight and I am no gold digger! Where do you all stand on tight men/women? Ex made me foolishly pay for everything...even if it was just cooking for him..never did he buy me chocolate or a flower.

I've tinder matched...speaking on the phone already...that's not my favourite pastime lol...Date set

Iused, I reckon those should be added to the rules of the thread, I am going to screenshot them to keep as mental notes, they are ace rules to go by.
I just got back from a great first date with Mr pizza. He was really funny, intelligent, seemed emotionally available and looking for a relationship, and wants to meet again and I was attracted to him. Feels like the holy grail after a run of meh recent dates . Shall not oi but he is just my cup of tea!

Please do add those rules to the rules of the thread. They are excellent!

Guess what, I have a date next Saturday night! He seems really nice and we have been messaging a fair bit today. I do like funny men, with whom I can enjoy giggle inducing banter. There hasn't been so much of that, but he still seems lovely.
He has a great job and is very tall (I like tall men). 6'5!! Intelligent and articulate too, as well as sweet. He has suggested bowling and then drinks for our first date. Not sure how I feel about the former activity, but something different I s'pose.
Only thing is, he seems quite active and outdoorsy. Asked me today if I was into any sports, such as swimming or running. Truth is, I'm a total couch potato, but told him I like walking (lame I know!) . So I'm not sure how much we'll have in common, but let's see ...

Dieu, he sounds great, maybe with spring in the air some good one's are starting to reveal themselves!

Thanks Plenty and here's hoping!

Sheesh. It's annoying enough when someone's online dating photos always have them in groups of various people, so you've got to try and work out which one they are.

It's more depressing when they're there with their horse and the horse is actually more attractive..

(Notice how I used 'they're, there and their' correctly in the same sentence. This an another bugbear)

Bant my profile actually says ... so if you know 'your' from 'you're', feel free to get in touch.
My new iron says that he may fall in love with me, on the basis pedantry

I think I might be in danger of becoming OI!

I started chatting to someone on Pof the other day. We spoke on the phone last night and did so for ages. We haven't met yet but conversation was easy. We are planning our first date; we both have children so there are logistical challenges.

bant I am often drawn to people by their photos of them with their horse. Mr Drone has a horse which is why I swiped him on tinder , his horse is beautiful (he's not too bad either).

Been busy working this week so haven't had much time for dating, I text Mr Drone a couple times a day but trying not to message too much, hopefully we can meet up next week when we are both free.

I have a date with mr drums today! We spoke for over 2 hours last night, first time talking on the phone. He's so kind and easy to talk to and I made him laugh a lot, always a good sign I think!

I really hope there is chemistry when we meet. There is mental chemistry for sure

remember I joined old 3 weeks after splitting with dh, our marriage was over years before really so didn't feel wrong. A week after ex dh joined too, he's on his 2nd relationship with OLD now and seems happy.

Loads of good dates and positive posts this morning!
Bant i agree on finding it annoying when every photo is a group shot. It's like a "where's Wally" contest

Bant agree the group shots are annoying, not least because I seem to have an uncanny knack for spotting someone else in there that I find more attractive than the person I'm supposed to be viewing!

I'm also put off by the 'adventurer' profiles - skiing, skydiving, canoeing shots where you can't see the face. They also make me feel quite tired looking at them, makes me wonder if that person would ever be happy having a lazy pj + Netflix day with me!

Bant, is it ever okay to send a message to a profile with only group shots saying "if you're the brunette on the left, I'd love to talk... If you're not can you let her know please ?"

Things going well with Miss Dancer. Just a gentle back and forth messaging at the moment which is nicely spaced out without constant back and forth. We seem to have a lot in common to talk about as well as lots of differences to explore. I'm enjoying chatting with her actually. Seems very natural and unforced.

Happy Friday all !

RLD.

Happy Friday all! I'm more than happy for my rules to be added to the thread, they've helped me immensely. Nothing feels better than doing what is right for you and rejection loses its sting when you don't cling on to something that just isn't working. No date, sex or relationship is worse losing your dignity for.
Sounds like it's going well for everyone. Some good dates going on! I'm meeting MarksandSpencer man on thurs (he looks like a an M and S model )

I'm 20 mins early for my coffee date with Mr Drums! Really excited to meet him, he has the potential to be everything I want in a partner... oh dear, look out OI!

RLD your iron sounds great. I know online chat can be a double-edged sword, but it's always nice when you find someone whose conduct on chat strikes a good chord.

Just place marking for now.

Still on/off with ex so not actually OLD yet but don't think it will be long.

Just back from date with Mr Science - no chemistry there but a lovely chap. Hooray for everyone having lovely positive dates/chats!

I'm joining the thread. A friend encouraged me to sign up to POF so after some thought and a couple glasses of vino I have done. Not that long out of a break up so not looking for anything serious straight away but it'll be nice to have a few dates and see what happens.
Exchanged a few messages with one guy, we arranged to meet for a drink, gave him my number and not heard anything since. Will sit tight and see if he contacts me.

I had a lunchtime coffee date today. I wasn't really looking forward to it as, perhaps unkindly, my name for him was Mr Dull. But it was better than expected and we had a nice chat. I'm not sure if he has the get up and go that I'd like, and on reflection I have a feeling we could have quite different political views. But if he suggests another date I'm happy to see him again - and if he doesn't, I won't be too disappointed.

A question - an iron I've just started talking to has said he doesn't drink. I'm not a big drinker, but I actually felt a bit disappointed. I quite like sharing a glass of wine with a partner after a long day, or going out for drinks - and it's not the same if the other person just has orange juice. Would this bother anyone else or am I being really silly?