Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I just had a message from a guy saying he loved my amazing hair. I have brown, straight, mid length very ordinary hair. I don't think I have ever seen more ordinary [boring] hair on anyone!

Bant Great news.
Way to go!!

So many postings in here.
I have still not caught up.
It won't be long until a new thread is needed.
My Mr Car visited yesterday.
We are both busy with work & other commitments - but somehow in the last month since we started seeing each other we manage to meet at least once a week.
I am over to his for dinner tomorrow.
Life is good!!

Infosec Delighted to hear that on-line dating is finally working for you.
The whole thing with MATCH sounds weird. They made a small fortune from me with the sneaky repeat payments from my credit card.
C'est is vie.

C'est la vie even. Urgh. ..autocorrect!

Outtogetyou, what's boring to you can see amazing to someone else. Check you and your fabulous hair :)

Bant it's cool she made a re-appearance. At least it's all still on the cards. Guess you play it by ear and see how it pans out.

Yeah Match are naughty little tinkers. That while exercise was a waste of time for me, not to worry.

Nothing else from Miss Intrigue.
No more replies from Miss Sales but she might reply after work so will see.

lettuce - I messaged my ex (after she'd winked at me, accidentally as it turned out) and said I thought she had a great smile. She didn't think so, she didn't like her smile.

It was a pretty fantastic smile. Lit up a room. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Sorry that was to outtogetyou

I have a date with MrTalkative this weekend. This is my first date since my last relationship ended so I'm a little nervous! He seems keen and we've been texting everyday. I'm not going to get too invested as although he seems lovely I'm not too sure if I fancy him so he may end up in the friendzone area. I'll see what happens.
No other irons, I was chatting to two other guys but they both barely spoke, as in it was just chit chat, I want to at least get to know someone a little before meeting & they were both giving me nothing to work from.

Bant glad missmarketing stepped up

I am still wondering about the food served at a french/greek/dutch/scandinavian/hawaian place!!! 😀
What do you think about the hour commute? I am struggling with similat distance... ok.now but hard to move forward for me

She's stepped down again :)

She's a bit inconsistent.

Dating is bollocks

(I'm in a haiku mood)

Inconsistent? Sounds a flake to me. Couldn't be arsed with that.

Bant I hate this about online dating, often it ends up being a bit of a game which isn't fun. And yes 'dating is bollox' feeling the same tonight.

Bant what's happened? It is so stressful all this dating x

Bant That's s*e

After such a fun and interesting date, why wouldn't she want to invest a bit? I don't understand some people . I mean, what are they even looking for?

I can understand being a bit scared by strong feelings if that were the case. But I cant understand leaving you feeling this way

Oh she's just not replying for six hours at a time. Reading messages, but not responding.

It's different for everyone of course. Everyone has a level of messaging they're happy with, but she'll talk constantly and then not respond, and there's no reason. And she's postponed Thursday, but we all have busy lives

Still. It's just one of those things, even after finding someone clever and funny who gels with you in person, it can still go weird after.

I'll just continue to be me, and she can become a bit more consistent, or she can not.

I expect people think I am flakey (with my amazing hair) but I leave for work at 6.20am, don't log on at work, get home 7.50pm, make tea, go to bed.

Yesterday I got busy at work so got the next train, meaning I got home nearer 8.30pm, Tuesdays I have an appointment til 7pm, so I get a train about 7.30pm, meaning I get home after 9pm, have tea, go to bed.....

Thursday I am out with a friend. I am away all weekend and home Wed night (working, but away the week days). Thu I have my Tue appointment rescheduled.....next day I am free is realistically Friday week. Unless someone wants the first date to be meeting at the anti-Brexit march on Sat!?

So, I do log on now and then.....

But that's not flakiness, outtogetyou - that's just having a low level of availability, and a busy life.

MissMarketing will chat back and forth for hours at a time, reply to messages and send a bunch of jokes and comments and questions, and then go dark, either not read messages or read but not reply for half a day, and then pop up - no pattern to it, no rhyme or reason.

Everyone is different, has a different comfort level in terms of communication, and finding someone whose level suits yours is half of the battle these days.

It's the inconsistency that bugs me, especially the cancelling the Thursday date.

Miss Marketing - she appears to be a wrong one Bant

Bant I wonder if she is apprehensive about a second date because the first one was so huge. I know I would be. I'd be thinking 'wow, that was intense and not something we can replicate every time we meet, so where on earth do we go from there?!'

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd spell it out that the next date is under no pressure to be anything other than a chance to meet again. Maybe I'd say something like 'clearly date 1 isn't going to be the norm, so how about we meet at lunchtime for coffee, or have an early evening, booze-free meal so we can just chat and get to know each other a bit more'

She might be less on and off if she knows there's no pressure to repeat date 1?

After a few hours of mulling (whilst getting on with work ) I've decided to give my bloke a wide berth. I think he's a player and I think my knee-jerk reaction of sending several messages on the trot was just as much caused by the dynamics of the relationship he was trying to put in place as my own imperfections.

Moving on....

Bant

A question about Miss Marketing.
Had she had long term relationships in her recent past. Or does she still.live with her Mum?
She sounds like she is spoilt. Or maybe just rude. Sorry for my harshness.

Still playing catch-up.
I hope to re-read the last week's events rather than just the last post before the whole thing hits the 1000 mark & goes into the archives.

Happy Wednesday Mumsnet Daters.

Lsoup

Bant have you asked her 'where she has gone?' When she disapears? She maybe busy, does she have kids? Work? Other commitments?

You sound a bit like me, I get paranoid when I see someone has read my message and not replied (Mr MOD does this), but some people have other things to do, work etc..
I would be a bit annoyed about the cancelling of the date but she could have a genuine reason and I would give her another chance, go on one more date and see how things go, if she continues to be like this then walk away.

a game which isn't fun

Yes!