Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Sorry, but ROFLing at "no chemistry with Mr Science!"

goldfish I am the opposite, I am a non drinker and I don't like people that drink too often ( fine having a couple at the weekend ).

Also laughing at the lack of chemistry with Mr science

Regarding drinking. I wouldn't be put off by someone not drinking. I cut back on alcohol a lot a few years ago and it made me realise how much our culture is geared up to drinking. Obviously if he didn't want you to enjoy a glass of wine when you want to then that would be an issue. If you are only drinking in moderation then I don't think it should matter if the other person is drinking or not (and he can drive!).

Dammit - I wish I'd done that on purpose!

Let's all pretend that I did...

I know what you mean goldfish. Sharing a bottle of wine is a nice social and relaxing thing to do and it's not quite the same if it's just you drinking, even if you're not drinking to get drunk.

But I also agree with pavonia that it's probably not a reason to rule out an iron. Wait and see if you like him first.

Feel bad. I've just cancelled tonight. I don't think there's much point. I just realised I'd much rather slob out on my own than sit with some guy I don't fancy

Quick question as I'm clueless! Guy who has my number text me earlier. Is it normal to at least get to know the person a little before meeting? He wants to meet next week but is very short with his texts! I suggested getting to know each other a little beforehand (we've probably exchanged about 4 messages between us on POF) and he's not replied at all. Feeling a bit negative about it all, I'd rather meet a guy knowing at least something about him.

I'm with you MyUser and have turned down meeting guys because of this. I don't want a pen-pal and am very serious about meeting someone, but even still, I have to have had a bit of 'getting to know each other' communication beforehand (and hopefully some funny banter too). Not loads though, I have to say. It's nice to have some fresh conversation topics for the actual date.

My first POF date-to-be (I'll call him Mr Band) is phoning me tonight for the first time! We have been messaging a fair bit since I joined up last week. He says he's excited to hear my voice. Hope I don't disappoint ... feels a bit like a telephone interview!
I've never had this before ie speaking before a date. Definitely seems more of a POF thing than a Match thing.

I used to be on pof ages ago before my ex came into the picture and found most guys would want a phone call before meeting. I don't want to chat endlessly before a date but it would be nice to know at least a few things about them, even if it's through texting. I'm gonna sit tight and wait to see if he replies, if not then no big loss.
Good luck with your call later Dieu!

Hi all. Date 4 tonight and apart from the odd chaste kiss goodbye nothing physical at all. Should I write it off or go for it? Not sure that all important spark is there but thought it was worth seeing if it could develop. So far it's developed exactly nothing...

Thanks My! Will report back after the call

popcorn good luck tonight on the date! 3 dates without a kiss would drive me mad, maybe see what happens tonight. Is he shy? The guy I'm dating is so I knew I'd have to go for it or wait forever if I wanted a snog fest. Different though if you're not sure you fancy him. Report back later!

Good luck with the phone call dieu

Thanks for all the thoughts on my iron who doesn't drink. I think I'll continue messaging him and see what happens.

Dieu, hope the call goes well.

Popcorn, hope you get more than a chaste kiss tonight. I've had a couple of relationships where the man hasn't made any move for a while, usually because he was uncertain of how I felt and/or wasn't very confident with women.

Myusername, I like to chat to someone a bit before meeting too (usually on the site, not by phone - I hate that).

Iusedtobe, don't feel bad. If you don't fancy him, there's not much point.

Good to hear about everyone's dates.
I have another weekend home alone. Lots of irons but turning them from penpals into dates is tricky.
Everyone seems to be too busy to actually meet. And I got blocked on WhatsApp because I didn't reply to a message quick enough. Told me I was losing interest when I didn't reply within an hour.

I'm a non drinker too so I approach this from the other side. I'd have the very occasional drink but it just doesn't interest me so I don't bother.

I avoid anyone on OLD who has a drink in most of their pictures, chavvy looking night out photos or has the setting drinks >3 times per week. I know we'd never work together.

I think if you enjoy a drink with a partner then don't go for someone who doesn't drink. Eventually I'll find someone who isn't fussed about drinking and we'll both be fine :)

I don't drink much at all (only on three occasions since Christmas, and one of those was just one glass of wine) but I would prefer a partner I can share a bottle of wine with.

I also worry that non drinkers are ex alcoholics and that they would want me to never drink, or wouldn't want to go to pubs, or might relapse.

Fair point but not all of us, I just don't care much for the taste!!

I've had a few bottles of ale in the fridge for weeks because I'd always rather have a cup of tea!!! :)

NYE though I had seven bottles which is unheard of for me and had a really good night so it's possible, just rare for me :)

Wrong as it may be, I do a double take at someone who states they are a non-drinker. It shouldn't be an issue but it can be. And I think that's fair enough. If it's something that makes you incompatible, it is what it is.

Runny I had the same thing, only mine was 1 hour 42 mins... fuckwit

I'd had a conversation with a woman on bumble, who hadn't responded to my last message for two days. I can't be arsed deleting out of pique. Occasionally I'll do a sweep and delete the old irons.

However, this woman then sent me an apologetic message for going quiet, after 2 days. I saw it, but was at work so couldn't really respond.

An hour later she followed up with 'aren't you taking to me anymore?

Then an hour later she blocked me.

..okay..

Some people have a hugely self inflated sense of their own importance in the grand scheme of things.

Well, we moved on slightly from the kiss - lots of touching and stroking of arms and legs when we were out drinking and longer kisses, more often too. Nothing overtly sexual but if he's playing a game to turn me on over a period of time then he's got it spot on - the build up is good OTOH, if he's just not that into me then it's all a bit meh and frustrating. Time will tell...

popcorn sounds great!
And progress too. I'm sure he's into you after 4 dates. See what happens next, hopefully he'll be along today to firm up another date and things will continue to go as well.

Anyone else dating this weekend?

out I'm sure most non drinkers are not alcoholics , I don't drink because I don't really like the taste of most alcohol and I hate feeling drunk. I would prefer to date someone who's not really bothered about drinking. I'm happy to share a drink in a country pub but my going out and getting drunk days are over (though I have only done it a few times anyway).

Feeling a bit fed up with online dating, I have 4 or 5 irons but none of them are really doing it for me at the moment. Mr Drone wants to meet up at some point but I'm not really finding his messages very interesting, they mainly consist of him telling me when he has got out of bed and when he's going to work. Plenty of MB offers from old irons but I don't think I want to go there. I need new irons but I can't be doing with re joining POF, Tinder and Bumble seem dead, had one message last night but he's miles away so I didn't reply.

Bant, I did chuckle at that ( quietly, still a little hungover )... It's hard, but not taking things personally is a real trial with this lark isn't it !

( quick update on the whole ex situation, not to drag the conversation back up but more as a final closure )... Got brave after a bucket of red wine at a friend's dinner party last night and removed that iron from the fire. Told her that I don't want to hear from her again, blocked and deleted her, hidden and blocked her on GSM, and feel a whole lot better apart from the small dwarf using a pickaxe on the inside of my skull )

Next week I am child free. If I don't get at least two dates in over the next week I will have failed at life !

Well done RLD!!!

I'm in a different Tinder/Bumble location....next to 2 major cities instead of my usual In the Sticks location......o.m.g. The choice, it's just not fair. 50 pre-likes up on Bumble!!!

spring it makes such a difference doesn't it, but it's so frustrating! I was in a major city for work last week and Tinder didn't run dry like it usually does. Matched with some people who I felt were right out of my league, and messages from them too. One thought an 80 mile distance was okay, but it's not really, is it? Still feeling happy about last night, pleased we moved on even if we're not at MB stage yet. Perhaps this slow build might work out, just not used to it really. RLD well done, it's a hard thing to do but it's got to be done to move on. My ex made that call and blocked me on everything. We were completely ND but I still did the odd bit of stalking. I was a bit when I realised but with hindsight it was the best thing he could have done for me.