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Original poster

What kind of men use prostitutes?

999 replies

Snugglepalace · 08/02/2017 09:51

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

OP posts:
Offred · 10/02/2017 11:09

What do you think wasn't understood about what shylondoner said lemon?

He said he felt unconfident re having consensual sex with women so he decided to purchase sex from sex workers.

Listening to the intellectual gymnastics punters go through to explain why they are the real victims or why there are no victims of the sex industry is entirely pointless when the whole thing can be boiled down to a very simple point - this is about male entitlement.

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/02/2017 11:09

What would you have asked ShyLondoner, and how would you have phrased it, Ineed? What do we need to find out from punters that would help understand and educate?

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:12

I don't want to hear all excuses re why a man being sad or inconvenienced means they feel entitled to pay to rape a woman.

The problem is male entitlement, the problem is masculinity, the problem is the way women are thought of, the excuses that are made by men (and often women too) for the abuse of women by men often in an established, systematic and co-ordinated manner.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 10/02/2017 11:12

Only understanding on both sides will.

Like that will happen

But its people who dont like prostitution for whatever reason that have to 'understand''

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:16

I think honestly it is incredibly naive to think that 'listening to' men talking about why sex work is ok will do anything other than just help to confirm the crap they tell themselves so they don't need to reflect on their behaviour/attitudes.

I firmly believe, the problem is abundantly clear, as it was with the suffragists and the vote. We don't need to listen to men complaining that they are misunderstood and should be entitled to power. We just need to demand governments take action to try and stop the systematic abuse and oppression of women.

Elendon · 10/02/2017 11:18

What a depressing thread.

It's quite obvious that sex work is for women and men are the one's who seek it.

Men who pay sex workers are scum, the lowest of the low in my opinion. They want the sex bot to be free of disease and never get themselves tested, they are happy to have sex with someone who has just had another man's sperm in them. They see women as sub human, animals. I don't give a crap if they have a lovely family life whose partner is not giving in to the porn crap these scum digest daily. All for the sake of ejecting sperm? I think not. The scum who pay women for sex hate women.

Sex is not a human right and when this old trope is wheelbarrowed out what they really mean is it's a right for men.

Sex workers beyond 25 rarely exist. Cue someone who says they are 30plus (but I bet they look ten years younger).

Any old wrinkly can get sex if they pay for it. Only if that wrinkly is a man.

Women are human too.

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:20

Because actually none of this is about anyone's feelings... not the feelings of the punters, not the feelings of the 'happy hookers', not even the feelings of the trafficked women.

It is about the status of women in society and the reems and reems of evidence relating to the harm the sex industry does and the failure of projects to legalise in Australia, Germany etc to actually achieve any of the objectives that they supposedly set out to achieve.

HorridHenryrule · 10/02/2017 11:24

Does anyone on here remember a programme about old pensioners escorting their services. One old lady was talking about how many punters came to see her. Their to old to give a shit what anyone thinks. That website I mentioned the other night there was a woman on their who wanted £550 an hour and she was 38 years old.

Elendon · 10/02/2017 11:28

Horrid

It's not a programme I would watch. And the rest of your post doesn't make sense.

DeviTheGaelet · 10/02/2017 11:29

But it's ok because the woman really believed the 20 year old wanted her for her right? And it's different because they are women.
There seems to be a lot of posters recently with some kind of weird fascination with older women/younger men. Odd.
I don't see the difference between an older husband and younger financially dependent partner and an older woman and younger financially dependent partner, no. And neither thing is prostitution.

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:32

I watched it.

I don't think the 'normal' rules of what is considered desirable physical attributes in a woman apply in sex work.

Literally any woman can make money in sex work because the main desirable factor is that you will accept payment for sex secondary to a feeling that men seem to have about madonna/whore stuff where they have to 'get' a socially acceptable wife and want to buy sex they think is not socially acceptable from women they are able to pass their internal conflict onto.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 10/02/2017 11:35

Shylondoner wasn't abused but rather than try and understand his viewpoint it was just dismissed and he was encouraged to tell the world what he was doing, if it was ok

Yeah, I don't have to try and understand people's viewpoints if they cause harm to others. I don't try and understand racists, misogynists, etc, because what they think and say is part of the systemic mistreatment of groups of people, and I don't think giving space or validation to their views is positive for society.

And you are right, what I said re: paedophilia and child brides. I didn't consider that, thank you for saying it.

HorridHenryrule · 10/02/2017 11:36

Well of course you wouldn't but I did. The old lady on the programme was talking about how many punters came to see her every week. I was shocked at how she was talking she didn't give a shit. She enjoyed it I think she was in her late 70's early 80's.

Older women are escorting not only women under 25. There's a lot more older escorts than what you think.

SarcasmMode · 10/02/2017 11:40

Can anyone Pm me Fords link? I'd be really interested to see it.

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:41

I think morbius' post about punters being feminists is exactly the kind of shit some men tell themselves.

If it is about thinking women should be able to do what they want with their bodies then why don't they tell their wives what they are doing and why are they paying sex workers to do things they want sexually?!

It is ludicrous... total crap that men tell themselves so they can avoid responsibility...

Elendon · 10/02/2017 11:43

This isn't about women who work in sex services, this is about the men who use them.

Horrid What do you think about the men who use the sexual services that a late 70s/early80s woman gives? And why be so vague about her age?

HorridHenryrule · 10/02/2017 11:48

It was that long ago I can't remember her exact age. Why does it matter? What do you think about it? You are of the opinion that only women under 25 do escorting work.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 11:51

There's a lot more older escorts than what you think.

Statistics please?

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 11:53

You are of the opinion that only women under 25 do escorting work.

Total misquote...

Offred · 10/02/2017 11:54

i agree re the age thing actually. Because it isn't about the sex worker being 'attractive' or 'good at sex' it is about sexual services being available at a price and for some an excitement re taboo.

HorridHenryrule · 10/02/2017 11:55

If she older then she looks 10 years younger. She looks under 25.

charlestrenet · 10/02/2017 11:57

I also don't think that the problem is that we don't listen to people who support prostitution. We hear from them all the fucking time.

Calling them out on their bullshit narrative about how it empowers women to be fucked up the arse by a stranger for fifty quid is not a failure to listen to them - it's listening and then pointing out that they are wrong. And actually it's perfectly okay to point out that someone is wrong when they are, in fact, wrong

CaraAspen · 10/02/2017 12:01

"charlestrenet

I also don't think that the problem is that we don't listen to people who support prostitution. We hear from them all the fucking time.

Calling them out on their bullshit narrative about how it empowers women to be fucked up the arse by a stranger for fifty quid is not a failure to listen to them - it's listening and then pointing out that they are wrong. And actually it's perfectly okay to point out that someone is wrong when they are, in fact, wrong"

I concur.

Elendon · 10/02/2017 12:01

Can we please keep on topic.

It's about the men. Not the women.

What man does this?

HorridHenryrule · 10/02/2017 12:07

Charles and Cara this thread was not intended to put down prostitutes. The question was what type of men uses prostitutes.