What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.
Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

[Offred]

They don't come across as obviously sexist

Ah I see you mean they are not uncouth working-class-men...



How much more 'obviously sexist' can you get than purchasing sex?!

[TheSparrowhawk]

What you've identified there Marigold is the fact that idiots who say that sexism doesn't really exist any more are totally deluded. Men may not go around shouting 'nice tits' as much as they used to but that doesn't mean they don't still see women as lesser beings that they can buy. Sexism isn't about your overt behaviour it's about your beliefs and a huge number of 'good guys' believe deep down that women aren't really people.

[MrsMarigold]

Loads. I only realised the scale of it when I did a sport with all men and I would say at least 50% did it.

[NotTheFordType]

My clients come from every walk of life. I have guys who work in high flying city jobs, and guys who stack shelves in Aldi. I've got quite a few students, whose parents have no idea what they're spending their rent money on!

The vast majority of them are nice and I'm happy for them to be repeat customers. Some of them are arseholes. But not in any greater proportion than in any population sample.

Please stop repeating hurtful stereotypes about sex workers. We're not hardened criminals FFS. We're not abuse victims or drug addicts or running away from a shitty home. The vast majority of us have chosen this job because a) we enjoy it and b) it's incredibly lucrative.

Yes there is trafficking and that needs tackling but it's a very small proportion of the overall industry.

[MrsMarigold]

Exactly Sparrowhawk.

[Snugglepalace]

Dh is an uncouth working-class man he thought these men were disgusting but said every single one of these men were extremely well dressed, nice looking and drove very nice vehicles, he said they looked like managers, business men etc. I suppose the type of people this country (with its own ridiculous class system) would have the utmost respect for!!

[isthismylifenow]

I think you will find it is various types of men.

My friends h for example. Well he is a prize piece of work anyway, but from looking at him, you wouldn't say that he visits brothels in his lunch hour for a quickie. But he has moved on from various affairs, I think he finds visiting brothels more cost effective for his needs now.

[TheSparrowhawk]

'The vast majority of us have chosen this job because a) we enjoy it and b) it's incredibly lucrative.'

Total and utter BOLLOCKS. I don't see how anyone would expect anybody to believe this.

If you're an actual 'happy hooker' Ford, I'll eat my own knickers.

[RubyWinterstorm]

snuggle palace,

I can't even remember an era where "working class men" (do they still exist?!) and utmost respect for wanker-bankers or "managers" in suits

[Snugglepalace]

Thenotfordtype-but you are in control of what you do, surely you are one of the lucky ones. I am only going by my police friend who works with these women on a day to day basis and I have another friend who works with a volunteer organisation working with street prostitutes,their stories are very different from yours I'm afraid.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

No one said prostitutes were hardened criminals NotTheFordType, they said that the people behind the brothels were hardened criminals. Some prostitutes are abuse victims, drug addicts and have had difficult home lives. Some are not, which is great for them, but that doesn't mean that prostitution is great and a brilliant "job".

[MrsMarigold]

Snuggle class has bugger all to do with it.

[DeviTheGaelet]

The vast majority of us have chosen this job because a) we enjoy it and b) it's incredibly lucrative.

What sparrow said. If that's true, how come most prostitutes are vulnerable in some way? How come many want to leave? How come it's not a career people recommend to their daughters/mothers/sisters?
It's dangerous, the risks of being beaten or even murdered are high, risks of STDs or unwanted pregnancy are high. Many women do it to pay for a drugs habit.

I'm sure some have made a conscious choice and are happy to do it but "the vast majority"? Come off it......and you are selling out all those women who AREN'T happy to do it and are at risk every day by pretending that it's acceptable for men to buy women's bodies for pleasure.

[NotTheFordType]

Yes, outdoor sex work is very different, but that's not what you were asking about - you're describing indoor workers.

Many "brothels" are run by former or existing sex workers. So no, brothels are not as a matter of course run by "hardened criminals"

Sparrowhawk, you can stick your fingers in your ears all you like and refuse to listen to the voices of actual sex workers. If you want to stick to your entrenched beliefs that's up to you. I am very happy with this line of work. Would you like some ketchup with those knickers?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

As long as you get to do your lucrative "job" NotThe, you don't really care about those that are harmed by prostitution. Nor do you care about the message it sends that men are entitled to buy women's bodies as objects for them to use.

[NotTheFordType]

If that's true, how come most prostitutes are vulnerable in some way?

"Most"? Where are you taking that statistic from, please? Could you also define "vulnerable"? Thanks.

How come many want to leave?
Lots of people want to leave their jobs. Most people who do a shit minimum wage job for a start. Of the sex workers I know personally, the vast majority are happy with what we do and plan to continue for many years.

How come it's not a career people recommend to their daughters/mothers/sisters?

Sex work isn't for everyone. If I had a daughter, I'd be happy for her to join the industry if that's what she wanted. My sister knows what I do - it's not for her, but she's very supportive of me.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Prostitution is not and can never be a job.

[SparklyUnicornPoo]

I lived in a house that had previously been a brothel once, we'd moved in just after the brothel was raided and for a little while we had men that didn't know it wasn't a brothel anymore turning up, what shocked me was how many of them were extremely polite, some of them were even fairly attractive and charming, others were a bit sad and desperate but not many that seemed truly unpleasant in any other way than the obvious looking for prostitutes (apart from one drunk guy who seemed to think I was lying and got quite violent). Frankly there were a few that had they chatted me up in a bar I might have considered. I'd always assumed you'd be able to spot the kind of man that would use prostitutes but no, the majority just seemed like normal men.

[NotTheFordType]

As long as you get to do your lucrative "job" NotThe, you don't really care about those that are harmed by prostitution. Nor do you care about the message it sends that men are entitled to buy women's bodies as objects for them to use.

Interesting, why the "job" in inverted commas? #sexworkiswork

Of course I care about people who are being harmed. I support several outreach projects and have given help and advice to women who want to leave the industry.

As to "buying bodies", no, this isn't what actually happens. Clients buy my service and labour. (The emotional labour is by far the hardest part of the job for me.)

[NotTheFordType]

Well, Assassinated, HMRC don't agree with you.

[loobyloo1234]

Would you like some ketchup with those knickers?

OP - I have seen all types of men visiting prostitutes. Go to Amsterdam and you'll see the same type of men doing exactly the same there also. Just because it's legal there, doesn't mean the clientele change.

For the record - Ford can probably back this up. It's not just married men or men in a relationship that feel the need to do this. If they're single, does it make it less sinister? Maybe they just want to have their kicks and can't get it elsewhere?

[KERALA1]

My old office overlooked a square full of street prostitutes. I was warned on my first day not to take my sandwich into the park in the middle of the square. A warning I ignored and regretted!

Often worked late and whilst waiting for documents to print looking out of the window can say that most of the clients for the drug addled street prostitutes were builders. My friend and I tried to help one of the prostitutes once as she had hurt herself. She was totally out of it and all over the place - needless to say we were both totally out of our depth....

[ArcheryAnnie]

you can stick your fingers in your ears all you like and refuse to listen to the voices of actual sex workers

I do listen to the voices of actual sex workers, and they are the ones who have said that it's an utterly shit life, and not one they'd ever want for their own kids. Not all women in prostitution think like you do, Ford, but you don't want us to listen to their voices.

Prostitution appears to be the only industry where "progressive" people demand we listen to and believe the most privileged people in it, and organise ourselves around their demands, while leaving the worst-off to swing in the wind. It's nonsense.

[ShoutOutToMyEx]

Maybe they just want to have their kicks and can't get it elsewhere?

I think this is the attitude that underpins those who use and condone sex work - that men are entitled to sex, and it's their right to have it.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

You get income, that doesn't make prostitution a job. Prostitution is not work, no matter how many snappy hashtags you repeat. Your punters buy access to your body, to use. That's not the same as providing a service or labour.