Feeling a little bit down in the dumps about my lack of a love life...

[pinkmusicstand]

I'm a 35 year old single mum to a five year old DD. Split up with her dad when I found out I was pregnant however it was all a bit complicated as we had occasional 'reunions' until she was about a year old and I said enough and finally cut it all off.

Ex is now happily coupled up with a new girlfriend, which I'm totally OK about. No feelings between us anymore, so not at all complicated.

I've had a couple of short term relationships since then, lasting no more than 6 months.

I find it difficult to meet new men. I've tried OLD but haven't got anywhere with it. Most of the men I meet in RL are married/coupled up. I have had lots of crushes on men, even if they are single I don't think they even know I exist. I am unbelievably horny all of the time.

I just don't think it's going to happen for me. I don't think I'll ever meet someone nice. The type of guys who do express interest are usually weirdos/creeps/in relationships. Am dismayed why I attract these types and not a normal, nice single guy.

I never get asked out. I think I'm OK looking, am reasonably intellegent (have a degree and currently doing an MA), kind, caring etc. I think I'm a nice person. I just don't seem to be able to meet someone who thinks the same.

Don't really know why I'm posting, I guess just to get it off my chest. Feeling a bit down about it all at the moment. This idea that I will be left on the shelf for ever.

Oh, I'm sorry . Yes, she may be stressed but also sounds as though there are some mind games going on (the blanking and so forth). Very hard when you're feeling lonely not to 'settle' and put up with an unsatisfactory relationship. I'm sure the shelf will get busier later (just hoping no-one puts a 'reduced' sticker on me!)

Don't think they'll put a reduced sticker on you , maybe special limited edition only one in existence!

rover. I'm getting your quote printed on a t-shirt! In my local Co Op, the reduced stickers have the jaunty slogan "still fresh!" on them. I may have to (ahem) 'appropriate' a few for myself.....

Glad I made you smile 😀
Have to admit I don't feel particularly special at the moment just used and abused , think I might add a comfy chair to the shelf ,appears I'm going to be there a while ,as I try to get past all this

I'm bringing a disco ball to the shelf and we can all have ourselves a little party

phoenix. Yes to disco ball!

Disco ball. Excellent. Can I suggest a well stocked bar, and fancy coffee/hot chocolate machine? Some comfy leather armchairs and a coffee table with magazines/freshly ironed copy of the newspaper of your choice/entertaining books up the other end of the shelf from the disco ball (I presume there is a dance floor below the disco ball). I must say this is the best shelf I have ever been on.

het. Sounds better by the minute! Now who's in charge of the music? (I have to respectfully bow out of this obligation as my taste is.... not cool).

Don't choose me for the music either , would be far to heavy for the shelf ! Besides ,Slayer and slipknot isn't everyone's cup of tea ! Although my kids a cool with it lol!

How about a juke box with no more than three picks per person allowed at any one time? And no-one is allowed to diss anyone else's choice of music - the three song limit should mean no-one has to put up with stuff they really hate for too long. And a quiet zone (maybe the leather chairs). The juke box could be beside the bar.

rover. I had to Google Slipknot - fair bit of roaring going on there, so yeah, not exactly 'disco-lite' (do you wear band t-shirts? Not judging, just asking...). My taste is worse. Think late eighties/early nineties chart shite. I've never been cool...

het That seems reasonable. As long as you like Queen, Aha and, er, Busted...... No judging, right?! (Confident )

N'owt wrong with 80s/90s pop - that's my formative years we're talking about. May even trawl back to my early teens in the 70s and add a bit of ABBA. And some Blondie and Eurythmics of course.

We may also need a whole section dedicated to Horrible Histories songs too.

Could we occasionally (hesitates to suggest this because it shows how terminally uncool I am) have a little bit of classical music over by the comfy armchairs. Just for a break from Aha and Slipknot.

het. I'm completely up for the Horrible Histories stuff (mini-crush on Simon Farnaby). The need for a classical section shows how terminally sophisticated you are and I'm willing to learn - I only ever watch Last Night of the Proms because I like how boisterous it gets. I need educate caring on the good stuff. I can't enter my fifties with my secret stash of Bros/NKOTB cassettes - and I can't see DS wanting them ten years from now!

I'm happy to do madness , there new albums good, up for a bit of 80s as well .

Not heard the new album but I am partial to a bit of 'Baggy Trousers' and 'My House' (you don't want to witness me dancing to these, though!)

Lol, think I've seen enough of that type of dancing at madness gigs , on the upside they don't have a mosh pit the front there also not as violent , I got glassed in the head at a Pantera gig years ago and spent the night in hospital !
Anyway currently annoying the kids with my music while deciding how comfortable I am on the shelf tonight!

Isn't getting glassed at a Pantera gig a sort of right of passage? Better than swallowing a live bat that's what I've heard they do, anyway

And now we know why we're all on the shelf - it has nothing to do with age, attractiveness or anything else... it is simply our propensity to "dad" dancing (or the female equivalent thereof!)

het. Gotta admit, my 'Baggy Trousers' dance is far from sexy....

Only ozzy Osbourne does bats ! I used to be able headbang for a whole gig , these days about thirty seconds and I can't move for a week !
Is dad dancing the equivalent of women dancing round their handbags ?
Anybody on the shelf got a nice latte? Could do with one right now ,to think the request used to be for alcohol ,God I'm turning into an old man!

Guns 'n' Roses and Jon Bon Jovi are about as 'metal' as I get

Rover - grow a beard, buy a fixed wheel bike and cultivate a taste for latte from some sort of obscure organic single bean grind (or whatever the jargon is) then you can kid yourself you are a twenty-something hipster in Shoreditch or Vancouver, rather than an old man. (Anyway, you are not old - IIRC from upthread, you are younger than me therefore not allowed to be old because that would make me old and I. AM. IN. DENIAL!)

het. I sort of want to dare rover to ask for a 'nice latte' at a Pantera gig. And report back!

I tried for the beard ,only got so far before the itching got to me ! Might try again and grow my hair long again ,I am about the right build to become the third hairybiker lol. I try to hide my age but unfortunately my grey bits of hair give the game away !
I haven't seen your age Mostly but your only supposed to be as old as you feel! . In my case about 80 .your age is no reason to feel you need to be on the shelf !