Feeling a little bit down in the dumps about my lack of a love life...

[pinkmusicstand]

I'm a 35 year old single mum to a five year old DD. Split up with her dad when I found out I was pregnant however it was all a bit complicated as we had occasional 'reunions' until she was about a year old and I said enough and finally cut it all off.

Ex is now happily coupled up with a new girlfriend, which I'm totally OK about. No feelings between us anymore, so not at all complicated.

I've had a couple of short term relationships since then, lasting no more than 6 months.

I find it difficult to meet new men. I've tried OLD but haven't got anywhere with it. Most of the men I meet in RL are married/coupled up. I have had lots of crushes on men, even if they are single I don't think they even know I exist. I am unbelievably horny all of the time.

I just don't think it's going to happen for me. I don't think I'll ever meet someone nice. The type of guys who do express interest are usually weirdos/creeps/in relationships. Am dismayed why I attract these types and not a normal, nice single guy.

I never get asked out. I think I'm OK looking, am reasonably intellegent (have a degree and currently doing an MA), kind, caring etc. I think I'm a nice person. I just don't seem to be able to meet someone who thinks the same.

Don't really know why I'm posting, I guess just to get it off my chest. Feeling a bit down about it all at the moment. This idea that I will be left on the shelf for ever.

ouch , that's not good . Don't give up.

We can easily extent the shelf if you dangle the promise of baked camembert, onion marmalade and port, Mums. I am quite a dab hand with a power drill (in fact, have usually been power drill and DIY monitor in most of my relationships). And welcome, MostInept, make yourself at home.

Hang on in there, Rover, sounds like the right decision if a sad one.

Thinking of improvements/extensions to the shelf, what with winter coming on and Christmas and all - should we install a toasty open fire?

Roverman there's a lot of life out there. (Was I dreaming when I read Braintree ffs?) It'll happen when you least expect it..this goes for all the MN ladies on this thread. Christmas is around the corner. No OLD for me. Being bitter isn't worth it. Could write the equivalent of War and Peace regarding my divorce but not worth it, esp for the children. I only kept a man, highly talented one at that, for 17 years! So nothing shocks me! More hinges needed on the shelf, and someone bring white Manon chocs from Leonidas....

Mumswallet ,what's wrong with Braintree? Actually I already know ,never really settled here to be honest.
I was thinking of a wood burning stove and a nice comfy sofa but we would definitely need a much bigger shelf !

Mums - you and I are a match destined to be - I like the dark and milk Leonidas chocs - we can share without ever falling out with each other! How about a platonic, non-romantic match made in heaven based on Belgian chocolate?

And yes, yes to a wood burning stove and comfy sofa, roverman. The great thing about the shelf is that because it's virtual we can extend it at will.

Thanks for the welcome

I've been reading a couple of absolutely wonderful threads written by people either in that lovely early relationship stage or in a clearly wonderful established one. Just to really remind myself what I don't have 😭

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry last night. The bar staff were very kind and facilitated my exit after I had to

1. cancel the food we'd ordered since he was asleep
2. Pay the bill for the wine we'd had (I suppose I could have been evil and left the bill for him to pay when he woke up) Oh and they also kindly replaced the full glass of said wine that he spilled over the table, my phone, my tights etc

Sounds like a date from hell to be honest ,lucky escape

MostineptThatEverStepped sounds like a nightmare. We don't need chaps like this....

Roverman75 apologies regarding Braintree. Good chippy there. But I'm a Colchester gel myself. We've even a Fenwicks now...Lots of home furnishings for the shelf.

As for sharing my Leonidas, well, white ones mine, the rest of the 70% cocoa ones for everybody else.

And hey ho. Back to work I go on a v cold, frosty Sunday night. But then, I've two sets of uni fees to find...

NN MNs

I think it was! I guess I'll laugh about it one day...

I've built my own shelf and decided I'm not coming down off it. Been single 6.5 years, haven't had a date in 5 years, done every OLD site going, got lots of hobbies, friends (almost no family), never meet any single women. The loneliness is horrendous now. Didn't think I could be lonelier single than the last 4 years of my LTE (sexless) but it is. I've stopped socialising in some groups because I'm the only singleton and makes me feel worse somehow. So, sympathies to you all and we'll done for keeping trying those of you who are.

rover. Well done. I hate the word 'closure' but sounds as though you needed some. Welcome mums, most and shatner (how come you get your own shelf, shatner?!)

most. Wow. That has to go down in the Guiness Book of Bad Dayes, surely?

I'm feeling lots better today. Have a counselling appointment tommorrow and have been advised to contact Cafcass. The reason ex comes here is because he lives a 90 minute train ride away, neither of us drive and he claims he can't afford to stay anywhere locally. I'm not keen on DS staying all that way away, especially as he has ASD.

Bad Dates even, but my Old English spelling of Ye Olde Bad Dayes also applies...

My own shelf so I have room for all the chocolate

shatner. Are you Official Guardian of The Chocolate or just hoarding it for yourself? I'm afraid my tastes are less sophisticated than het and mums - I'll survive on Cadbury's Buttons, Rolos and Smarties (and indeed, sometimes have...)

Share? Chocolate? Don't be silly...

Hmmm, shatner - is your shelf above or below ours? If it's below, I will dangle my unwashed feet in your face so as to put you off your chocolate stash. If it's above, then budge over because I'm coming up.

It definitely was a Bad Daye

My shelf's location is secret. I don't want anyone stealing my Green & Blacks

most . I'm now imagining Daniel Powter singing 'So Thou Had A Bad Daye' whilst strumming on a lute. Ye Gods. What an arse! (your date, not DP - who may also be a bit of an arse, who knows?). Tell him to go thither, and perchance you'll see him anon.

shatner. Green & Blacks is a bit posh for my taste. Unless it's the butterscotch one (drools)

Well I thought I'd made a clean break ,even that hasn't worked out properly , arrgh!
Think I'll move from the shelf to wardrobe and lock myself in it !

rover. I suspect it's your bloody phone that needs locking away! Hope you're ok.

Her 18 year old son doesn't like me be around because he doesn't get as much attention and thinks he is the "man "of the house , so threatened me if we got back together, I definitely need to walk away I think , it's now just too much hassle .,won't be on the shelf tonight ,having a film night with the kids and all phones disconnected!

Sounds like a plan. Very tricky negotiating teens, and it's up to Mum, really, to reassure him and set boundaries. You definitely need some space and a bit of quiet contemplation. I'm better at chess than relationships (and I'm not fab at that). Enjoy your evening, absolutely disconnect phone - might be back later (attempting a toy amnesty at the moment).

Anyone around?

Yes. Dreaming of chocolate of which there isn't any in the house