Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Doofus has definitely taken me by surprise. It's definitely a lesson learnt in the difference between "knowing" someone on text and actually meeting them, cos his messages prior to meeting were sporadic and he uses text speak a bit and makes spelling mistakes which did make the pedant in me wince a bit. But then when I met him, I realised he's actually very intelligent and articulate...we had some great conversations. And he has dyslexia, which explains the spelling errors etc. And now he's stepped up the flirting and it all feels quite lovely and easy...
It's going to be the distance that scuppers it though...hope I get a breakfast in bed before that happens!

Hi ladies, long time lurker to the site but wanted to join for this thread.
After having heart broken by Stbexh I've tipped my toe into online dating.
We've split six months but really we'd split a year before that and had given a half hearted attempt at trying ( me trying him not at all) that did not last.
So here I am.
A ball of nerves as my first date from pof looms. To say I'm nervous is an understatement. But great advice here.

One question. What does irons stand for?

Oh and how long do you chat before suggesting a meet up?
I've a date tomorrow night, but also been chatting to another guy who is sweet and cute, but has not yet suggested a meet up.

Oh and I'm in Dublin. So a smaller pool here, much smaller:-S

Thanks girls.

My brother is dyslexia Freaky and funnily text speak is how he writes. But you wouldnt think that if you met him, I think it's easier for them.

starsky I'd love to know what irons means too, but thought it may be obvious to everone else

Lol, good, I'm not the only one. :-)
I figure it's guys online but just wanted to know why irons?? Lol

Hot as a steamy iron!?
Reliable enough to know how to use an iron?
Massive muscles through diet high in iron?
I may be building this up...

Haha. They're very good Lilac :-)
I've no clue. As fun as ironing???? But that can't be right.

I've far few messages coming through now, but I suppose better to ignore till I see if date tomorrow goes well, have the elusive spark.
I've been too distracted by the cutie though, and not giving actual date -asker enough attention.
I wish he'd make an online move already.

I'm not ready for OLD yet, but getting tips along way while wondering if RL man is interested or it's all in my head

Have to sleep and now will be dreaming all night about what irons means!

Hahaha.... Me too :-)
Hope you hear from RL man soon.

Ha! Those iron posts made me laugh.

Irons= potential dates/ people being dated.
Multiple irons = many irons in the fire = more than one person bring chatted too ( many OLDers realised that this was a sound strategy. Prevents getting too emotionally attached early on. Vital given some fuckwittery that happens when doing OLD)

Welcome star meet sooner rather than later to prevent rule 3. Texting builds up a false intimacy. Plus I once texted over a week with someone. He looked amazing, banter via texts was superb. Then I met him. Shorter, skinnier than I was expecting and with a very squeaky voice. I was sooo disppointed. Defo arrange a meet up before messaging loads.

Peeps of the thread, I am now beginning to see what hunting looks like in earnest. mrcalms messaging has changed completely. He's more engaged, forthcoming and direct. The switch is quite honestly unbelievable. Now either the pressure is off us both and as a result this is he real him. Or this is him in non pressurised slowly slowly catchy monkey mode. I shall continue to observe and report back.

On the flip side I'm meeting a male friend tonight I haven't seen in a while. There will be snogging

reddish I hate to say I told you so but I told you so. Sorry, I know you have feelings for her but she sounds incredibly self involved and selfish. We are all battling demons yet that does not mean anyone had the right to forgo basic manners. You have your closure. You deserve better than someone is so unbelievably rude. You sound lovely. Onwards buddy. And of course you can join the London meet up!

So that's you and freaky, anyone else?

Have fab days y'all.

Welcome to the new posters! Yes irons in the fire. I have 2 irons in the fire right now, meeting both for the first time today and tomorrow..

Eeek impromptu coffee date this morning with scottish

last & freaky thank you. Glad my story warmed the cockles....
freaky is only been 4 dates but like I say all I can see is massive green flags blowing, not a red one in sight. So it's looking very promising. Right now all I'm bothered about is that I love spending time with him, it's 100% giggles, joking around, affection and snogging. Which is a welcome addition to my life at the moment. No pressure or heavy talks (although we have both agreed to be exclusive). I'm not in a hurry to define the relationship or pan out the future. He sees his kids 50/50 and I live with mine so it's going to tricky, but we are both self employed and live locally to each other so that is handy!
Hi sassy can't remember who thought up the iron phrase now....was is gast? How did last night with the old friend go?
Hi to everyone else....any dates tonight??

I'm a new poster. Been single for 7 years
Not dated for a whole year now either
Don't go out much and online dating has never worked well for me
I'm only in my 30's though but feel like there is no point now. Let the kids grow up then see how chunky I have got and if anyone is interested when I am 45!

last good luck for this morning ! Impromptu dates are the best - no time to agonise or have time to do self tan etc ! More real !

I've got a coffee date too with Sirens - I have a sneaking suspicion we've over texted before meeting. He is a bit short for me, which I have ignored, and I'm not sure how keen I am if I stop back from it, but we'll see!

Prizey That all sounds bloody lovely! Hurrah for no red flags!

Sassy It will be interesting to see what unfolds with MrCalm now that you are unbothered.

Starskey80 Welcome! I like meeting up as soon as possible. Well, as soon as you've established a bit of a rapport anyway. A week is usually plenty. Keep the first date easy to escape from (coffee or a drink), let a friend know where you are, and keep expectations low. Sassy's right...texting does build a false intimacy. It's good to establish whether you might get on but you need to meet to see if there's any actual attraction.

Guy I'm meeting tonight I don't have high expectations of, but he is nice and does seem 'normal'.... I'm driving, for easy escape, so I'm thinking couple of hours to see how it goes. If there's no spark, then there's no spark.
Cutie guy still not asked, but feeling he's building up to it.
Thing is I'm making mistake of building him up in my head. Urrgghh.... And I'm only on this just over a week, lol

Thank you for the welcome :-)

Sassy enjoy your snogging tonight and Last , have a great time with Scottish and don't forget the loo update!

Prizey, such a lovely story. I'm starting to get a little disillusioned with OLD so you are giving me hope that there are some decent ones still out there I just can't seem to match with any at the moment

Starskey, I agree about meeting up as soon as possible. I did a number 3 with a really hot guy after chatting for 3 weeks and kept waiting for him to finalise a date but he never did and has ignored my last message on Sunday.

I have cut my losses with Mrball and have 2 potential new irons. Mrchef who I have a date with in Saturday and Mrclever on Sunday. I've been put off Mrchef though as apparently he was on POF a couple of years back when my sister was on it and they nearly met up. Mrclever and I have a lot in common with work but he seems awkward at texting and hasn't revealed much about himself, plus I practically had to ask him out myself as he couldn't take any hints.

At least I'm getting back on the dating horse so to speak after a month of nothing so I'm looking forward to the weekend

Blissfully happy in a very feet-on-ground way after yet another even more gorgeous Twix night.

Can't explain it except it's all just peachy. Spent a good while chatting about how kids fit into the whole Twix/Handy thing. Not planning any intros but just getting a real feel for each other's viewpoints.

Just lush. Simples and might even introduce the dogs soon

to all the lovely daters.....

skyrabbit how was your coffee date? Update please!!

starskey and good luck for your date this evening I'll be watching out for your loo update! Fingers crossed for chemistry there

jaffa really impressed with your news, well done you for cutting your losses with mr ball, and even more so for the 2 irons and 3 dates lined up! Go you! I know you were really keen on mr ball so really good stuff

Well I'm back from my coffee date, it went ok I think. He's definately keener than I am, he's already messaged me to say nice things and show he's interested in seeing me again. I liked him, just on the fence as to whether I fancied him or not. I like an instant chemistry and fireworks which there wasn't but then I enjoyed his company and do think he may grow on me. I have another first meet up tomorrow with my 2nd iron disney so I'll wait and see how I feel after that

Hi last I think your date went better thAn mine, although I know what you mean about instant chemistry - I like to be thinking that I want to snog their faces off
My date was meh ! He was fine but pretty dull bless him. His photos were also either VERY well shot, or of some age. Zero chemistry, and I barely got a word in edge ways while he told me about all the problems with his ex wife and child contact, his planned investments and all about his job. Ach, at least I only wasted coffee, rather than a precious Friday night!

Jaffa thank you! Glad it has inspired you. I just hope he continues to be gorgeous.
last I totally understand what you mean, I actually sent Mr Blue Eyes a text to say thanks for lovely date but no thanks and would he like to keep in touch as I enjoyed his company. I didn't think there was that spark on our first date and couldn't imagine being intimate with him at all. He sent me the loveliest message back, so lovely, totally understanding and sweet that I completely changed my mind and decided a second date would be a good idea 'just to see'. I don't know what i was thinking after the first date but thank God I gave him another date because now I fancy him so much and can't keep my hands off him. So I'd say definitely go for another date or two to make sure.
Handy so pleased for you and Twix (is Twix the previously named Cockerpoo?) If so I totally remember your first date and how you hit it off, so pleased things are going well. Yay!!

Sky he sounds like a nightmare....why do they think this an attractive way to behave? Taking about himself is so off putting & Slagging off ex = major red flag......Next!