Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I know, it's hard Freaky, you don't want to be remembered as a sobbing mess! But, reprimand him a little bit. Don't absolve him 100%

You'll talk to him later with your stiff upper lip but tlet him know that you hope the next man you decide to spend your sweet time with knows his ass from his elbow. Say something like ''I'll get straight back out there I think but I really hope that this doesn't happen to me again, I really hope the next man doesn't mislead me''.

That's just a side order of guilt. And really, Bacon needs that served back to him. He needs to reflect.

I'm happy with my last phone call to Bear. I asked him through tears at what point he thought my initital attraction to him, the one I TOLD him about, had died??? when we were communicating for four - five hours a week? He had no answer to that. I like to think I made him THINK. Well, I thought I had made him reflect. Until I saw he was looking for a relationship on POF That's when it became easier to think that he was no hero after all.

He said he sent me messages by text and i sent a test text and he hadnt received it. Yet i was getting messages from family. We are now whatsapping

Yeh, I feel on top of things until I sleep with them. I've actually decided that even if it means I don't have sex for the next few years, I am not going to sleep with anybody ever again until I can be certain (with the advice of this thread) that it doesn't sound like the friend zone, the casual zone, the maybe zone, the wham bam see ya zone............. so many pit falls.

Feeling a bit jaded right now. I'm still messaging a few guys and I really like the French man in his 30s, the INFP (he had it on his profile!!) but we said to each other that there is less pressure talking to each other because we aren't what the other is looking for. So with that level of honesty, I may keep chatting to him. ON occasion.

Sick of spending good money on babysitters.

Say something like ''I'll get straight back out there I think but I really hope that this doesn't happen to me again, I really hope the next man doesn't mislead me''.

Love this! Using this! And I'd better NOT bloody blub. I do feel a bit teary today but I'm putting it down to being pre-menstrual (hope so anyway!)

And ouch! Back on Tinder...matched with someone who immediately unmatched. Forgot the sting of that one...

Freaky, thanks for the MH link. Very useful and sensible advice. For tonight, its best if you work out what you want to say, and write it down even if you don’t end up saying it. That way you stop having a panic if the conversation turns. You can always bring him back with a point from your script, and it means you don’t forget anything in the heat of the moment.

Also Sassy all the best for tonight on your non date

Muddling I’ve also had problems in the last month or so with texts being delivered hours later.

Freaky I bet you anything he says some version of ''i don't want you to think badly of me".

Don't let him off completely. Tell him with a smile staple gunned on to your face ''well! you're no Mr Darcy that's for sure".

I read that link earlier and I think it's a good one for if the other person has done nothing wrong. Just, that they don't reciprocate your feelings.

Place marking.

Freaky I hope your conversation with him goes well tonight. Thinking of you

Ok, got home and checked the inbox. So MaybeMarried45 has told me his name, he's funny but I still think............. married. Also, even if he's not married, what's the point of dating somebody who lives between two cities, and does that not sound familiar?! who else did that?????????

And Coolguy46 sent me a nice message and I responded to that. He has kids and wants to meet somebody on the same page.

i'm in a real fuck it mode. i'M ME. if you think I'm weird, you're not for me, so let the door swing on your way out. Fed up of sending carefully crafted, witty, sensitive messages and hearing nothing back.

Jollly The French man in his 30s, v easy to talk to, the INFP (!) I was talking to last night told me je m'apelles *nom. Now correct me if I'm wrong but is that not a little like me saying mine aim is Pie. Very odd. How does a French person make two mistakes in that short sentence. But who would pretend to be French? And why? HOw can I subtly test that?

Oh, and I nearly forgot to tell you ladies, just as I was giving up all hope of meeting a nice man, a message from RumpledForeskin popped in to my inbox to say 'come on, gimme a go''. He is 21. Makes the man I went out with at the weekend seem elderly.

hello all!!

Been holed up in my bunker-of-an-office with no Wifi/3G or even adequate phone signal!!

Oh my, Freaky - you know with Bacon his sudden IDWAR bollox is linked to wherever that 'don't expect me to entertain you' malarkey came from. Yes baggage is normal. But baggage needs 'handling'. And if you can't handle your baggage then you CAN'T have a relationship. Not WANT. Not entitled to try and play at one either - grow the feck UP!!

Bless you. You are just awesome. You are probably gonna feel v upset after tonight's convo but you are gonna be kick ass, and to-the-point, and give him the MH talk and when he goes all self-pitying you can call a halt to the convo. Definitely write down the stuff YOU NEED to say. and then and obviously [thread] for after.

Datingbarb welcome good luck with your iron.

Foxtrot I would give it another go. I really would. Treat it like a 'new' relationship and take it slowwww.

to muddling waving and tanya

Sassy have a lovely non date and report back!!

314 I love the 'no Mr Darcy' line!!

reddish where are you at with your situation??

JollyX go you on judging the Karmic sitch with such precision accuracy.... Continue with your master plan....

So, Twix.... OMG. Blow me if am just not the most smitten kitten in town. Just had the most A-MAZING time, walking, shopping, cooking, laughing, chatting - just perfect. Still not slept, for ahem other reasons (including among others not wanting to miss out on a moment of 'being with him' I knew I was about to go over the edge with my feelings. Now am just gone. Dropped off a cliff. And smiley and secure and happy and calm. S-M-I-T-T-E-N!!!

Gotta dash and cook tea/walk the neglected dog...

to those who I've missed. Back later....

Freaky, yes, Bon Courage
Not checking inbox until after I've done 30ds level 2 and the last 3 circuits of nmtz That's a good work out. Gotta "Rock a bikini" ha ha

Handy, so all's good again?!

Forgot to to ocelot

And thank Freaky for our new home. We do need that glossary.

Yep 314 all good. It's the shift in me. Am so much more relaxed after that big therapy sesh made so much sense last week. I think he feels it - he asked me what happened in therapy last week - I told him but didn't tell him how it applies to me & him. So he is none the wiser. But really quite affectionate and communicative. And complimentary.

>>> that's me

Glad you're happy again Handy!!

Oh god, now I am blubbing! You lot are so lovely, thank you! Remember how you were all coming with me on the first date? Now you're all coming with me on the break up call.
I just messaged him as he's turned off his last seen on WhatsApp and I panicked that he'd blocked me and he replied and said fine to talk at 9.
But, gym first! Will updated later, you lovely lot!

Handy, so so happy for you! Really, you and Twix sound so perfect for each other!

back here after exercise and shower to catch up.
x

You should Scarftown. Now I am NOT going off to meet this French guy in real life, as he is only 32, but after clicking with him, bypassing the small talk and going STRAIGHT to the real stuff., later I googled and esfj and infp is a good match apparently. I would like to find an infp in his 40s :-p
Right, off I go, I'm pressing play in five minutes.

... and as if my smittenness weren't joyful enough, i also gotta love how I actually successfully willed my period not to arrive until this morning

#feelingsmug
#loveitwhenaplancomestogether

Right, dog walk......

Marvel has just asked me if i still want a 2nd date i said yes!

Hello everyone

So, i'll update on my various irons. One who was the most local to me who I met on Tinder and was keen for a cinema date, was keen for 24 hours but has waned considerably. Hasn't messaged me today, and was so half hearted with his replies to me last night I haven't bothered.

Another one I'm chatting to regularly, he's ill at the moment so no chance of meeting up quickly but that's ok. We seem fairly similar - but his photos are over 5 years old and he won't send me a new one because he's ill. Bit ofa red flag if you ask me! We will see.

Couple other irons I've mentioned previously have turned to nothing!

Then there is the almost famous electrician who is yet to call!! if you want to know more get onto my "So... can i ask my electrician for his phone number?" thread!!

I have still not heard from my date with violet on tuesday. Nada.

AND - I did another brave thing - I messaged a gorgeous gorgeous guy on Facebook who works in my local supermarket - I chickened out of face to face exchange. I happened to be flicking through an old local mag today and saw his name mentioned in it regarding something - so I looked him up and it was him! He accepted my message request - no idea if that means he has read my message - but if he has he hasn't yet replied. I'll update when appropriate. If he never replies i will avoid that particular supermarket in future!!

Need to run but:

314 that guy is not French. Or pretty much illiterate. Do you know what he does for a living? Higher education is very strict on grammar/spelling and with that he could not have graduated in anything in France.

I hope Bacon does spill the beans.

Yay handy that sounds like a perfect date - so happy you are back on the smitten bench!

Traffic two ballsy moves a day? Omg you are my hero!

..will be back later!