Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Yes Twix is the previously-named Cockapoo! We are three months in now. Amazing. V happy, getting a bit smug now and considering my place on the thread. Gulp... And whether I am kind of inching more towards relationship territory... ish. Crazy hey...

sky that's annoying but onwards and upwards, and as you say count blessings that it wasn't a wasted evening complete with babysitter! Do you now have to do the awkward thanks but no thanks message?

prizey that's really interesting what you've said and to be honest I've always been one to swear by instant chemistry or nothing. But the other day I read a lovely thread on the relationship part of MN about whether you fancied your OH on first meeting or not and it as a real eye opener to see so many people day they hadn't! Pretty much what you've said too, and actually it's his personality I'm finding really attractive so I've accepted a second date at his house on Saturday night. He's funny and very sweet, wears his heart on his sleeve so I know he likes me and it's nice not to be wondering what he's thinking like I usually am at this point! Very refreshing to feel like that instead of the usual anxiety and insecurity of waiting and wondering. Just goes to show, it's not a certain pattern, and sometimes things are not always clear cut or happen as you expect or want them to!

This is an ideal thread for me because lots of posters here are where I'd like to be in future - open minded about dating and accepting lows as well as enjoying highs. After about two decades not dating it has really opened my eyes about OLD too Better still the answer of what is an iron is has been answered so I'll sleep better tonight!

waving 3 months? That's awesome! How exciting - enjoy your mini break a la Bridget Jones!

I'm discombobulated tonight. Rubbish date today, one for Saturday I can't be arsed with, IndieBoy is texting saying he'd found a sexy fun girl and he's blown it (he means me. Well I hope so, otherwise that's just mean!) , and my ex is texting wanting to meet up. I'm not sure I'm up for all this, it's such a massive roller coaster of emotions all in one day ....

Well itman still texting and having some very frank and interesting conversations we've swapped Twitter ids and are now following each other ! Which makes for an interesting way to find out about someone ..hoping to arrange a meet up over the bank holiday don't want to keep texting in case there is nothing there ... On wards.

To whoever said its all a game ...it is ...and one I was gonna stop playing but hey keep going for a while longer and all the success stories give me hope. Good luck ladies

Does anyone else on here find they get highly obsessed and distracted when they like a new man? I'm thinking about potential RL man, but not willing to openly flirt as I'd feel weird I don't know how. He seems keen to talk with me but it's all work based I know I should wait and see what happens and not keen to rush into anything full on, but I'm thinking about him so much and can't tell anyone in RL. People are still trying to support me over my marriage break up without realising STBXH was horrible and I've been alone for along time. I'd just like to know he likes me. Sorry this has turned into a moan!!

'A long' not 'along'!

Hi all, it's good reading all your updates, sounds like there's a lot of action going on! Plus great advice for us newbies.

likac that's great you're so into RL man, I understand what you mean you can't talk about it to friends. But so nice for you to have a distraction from what you're going through. Is the RL Man definitely single? Without needing to feel the need for something to start right now, maybe you could just enjoy his company for a while and get to know each other better as office friends?

Finally had drinks out with that young guy who fancies me and it was a big fat no. Feel relieved to get closure really. The chat between us just wasn't taking off, it was a major no go area. I did get compliments from others about how I'm looking much better nowadays, as last year was dreadful so that was bit of an ego boost.

Anyway, following everyone else's stories with interest...

Hi ladies.... Back from first date in a decade.
Went in with no hopes at all....Wasn't sure if I'd fancy him, but ended up really liking him from the off. He's dimples :-)
Totally clicked.
And he picked me up to kiss me....I was sold. Lol
Better not be a player.....I hope he's not.

Only bad thing is, even though I'm split six months with ex ( we've kids) I felt like I did something wrong.... That fades right??

Thanks ribena for advice - he is a lovely distraction really and, I know was single at start of year, but don't 100% know now so may be should be a bit more wary. Sorry it didn't work out with your RL man, but compliments sound good so you can now have fun and get some attention

star I felt guilty through my negative marriage, are you just feeling a 'run on' from your negative relationship? I loved the 'picked you up to kiss' part, sooo romantic. Enjoy it

In other news - I'm divorced!!

Morning

handy how do you feel about that? Is it a congratulations? I cannot wait for mine to be finalised but I will have mixed emotions xx

Thanks Lilac :-)
Yeah I think it's like you said, just a fun on from the negative marriage.

Handywoman congratulations on divorce. How do you feel about it?

( silly question but how do I tag users names? )

Morning Sassy

When I saw the email I had NO emotion, like all this is behind me and not current. Just paperwork.

But now that it's started to sink in I feel a bit relieved. Relieved that we are no longer connected by law. Relieved he is not my next of kin etc.. It just feels right

Am not even sad or happy, just relieved. He is now officially an ex husband. Hurrah...

Wonder if he will now marry his superficial weird (but probably very well matched) new dp... Hee hee

Morning all!
Not much to report from here. Still messaging Doofus and he's still being adorable. It's nice not to have any messaging angst. I know if I message him, he'll reply and he messages me as much as I do him. And he's on WhatsApp a lot anyway, so I have no "OMG, who is he talking to?!" stress. He's away for the weekend now, and I have a busy one planned and then we're meeting on Monday. Yay! I was swooning a bit to my best friend last night though and she slapped me right down. Just reminded me not to get carried away which was just what I needed to hear. Must learn Bacon lessons...

Handy Congratulations on the divorce! And you and Twix have been heading towards relationship status for AGES... but it's good that you are talking about introducing kids and dogs.

Starskey Yay for your good date! The low expectation ones often turn out to be the best. And dimples...swooon! I'm not sure about the feeling like you did something wrong thing. I've never felt that but then exP cheated on me and it took me 3 years to be ready to date so I defininitely had no residual guilt or anything!
(you can bold usernames by putting a either side of them...like this but with no gaps... Starskey *)

Jaffa Two dates for the weekend! Good work!

Sky Sorry about your date. But as you say, at least it was only a coffee. Need to kiss a lot of these frogs...And what's Indie playing at? I thought he'd called things off?

Waving Glad MTG meeting your mum went well and enjoy your weekend away! You are definitely a good news story.

Lilac A crush can be a very nice distraction from other things going on. Just be a little bit careful about what you actually want out of this.

Ribina At least you know where you are now with the youngster. Onwards and upwards!

Sassy Any snogging to report?

star Oh my - the picking up to snog! Proper swoon!
lilac oh. my. god. The obsessing - yes! It feels like being a teenager all over again! I'm stopping only slightly short of doodling their name on my exercise book...!
Handy Woo hoo and congratulations on your divorce! If the emotion you feel is relief, it was abundantly clearly the right thing!!
freaky awwww Doofus is really coming through!

I have a date with IndieBoy tonight I think he's got over himself to be honest, and realised that I'm not demanding a full on relationship from the get go (he was worried our busy schedules meant we couldn't see each other more than once a week). I think sitting back and letting him want me has worked lol. As did telling him about my date yesterday . I'm a bit swoony now though - somebody slap me!

Loving the Doofus news... What I have learned from forcibly stifling the runaway swooningness is - it makes you stay you. Stops you being an 'exaggerated waggy Labrador tail version' of you. And it makes the relationship better and allows the intimacy in...

That's my little nugget of wisdom. Totes free of charge!!!!! Haha!!!!

I like the nugget Handy...tis true! The swooniness is nowhere NEAR Bacon levels and all feels quite healthy at the moment but I do need to watch it. I am glad that I said no to the whole staying over thing and that he reacted well.

So yeah, we'll hang out on Monday, it'll be fun...but always evaluating, right?

Sky Have a very gentle slap. And enjoy your date. But it does sounds as though you handled it well, by pulling back and making him come to you.

sky rabbit ooh good luck for your indie date tonight! Hopefully it will go better than yesterday's one for you. Remember to update when you can, I love reading people's loo updates especially from first meetings

whatAmI I'm glad you are carrying on a bit longer and pushing through all the rubbish. I have been at this for 2 months now, April was awful, full of no shows, cancellers, fakers and liars I was so ready to give up. I went on one last date very halfheartedly at the beginning of May and it was amazing! This month has been such fun, I've had 3 different irons on the go, dates with all of them so a total turnaround when I least expected it. Keep going you never know what's around the corner!

lilacpink yes to the getting obsessed when I meet someone new, embarrassingly so. I try my best to reel it in and be cool but I'm hopeless and always guilty of over investing too soon.

ribena sorry your date was a no no for you, especially after being so long in the coming of it! Neeexxxxxtttt!!

starskey oh my that's just lovely!! Bit jealous of that lovely kissing action how gorgeous! Roll on the next date, any plans yet? Have you heard from him since? Ooh keep us updated!

handy congratulations on the divorce hope you are ok, relief is good!

freaky I'm very much in the go doofus camp and I'm quietly confident he is going to be the one to blow away the bacon cobwebs! Going slower is lovely, a first date with no kiss, building flirting over messager, anticipating the next meeting and that snog...ohh it's all happening in a lovely way and I'm going to be hanging out for your bank holiday loo update! Hope the kissing is excellent

In my ever complicated 2 iron life, I have my second zeroith date in 2 days this evening. Yesterday was the coffee date with scottish today is drinks with disney I have a second date booked in with scottish on Saturday to see if the chemistry is going to improve, or be a bit more of a spark but I'll see how tonight goes obviously! Not sure how I feel about either iron to be honest, my gut tells me neither is right but I like both to chat to and will have a better idea once I've met disney later obviously! Loo update number 2 coming up!

Hi all and welcome newcomers (sorry I will miss someones story, but I will try and catch up on a weeks worth!).
Just checking in with you after a very busy week of moving and painting, and realising I have missed checking out this thread!

Barb sorry to hear about the guy who went on holiday and you heard nothing from. At least you found out now rather than a few dates in when it would sting probably a lot more!

Skygood luck tonight with Indieboy!

Last Good luck with all the dates and definitely provide loo updates!!

Freaky Lovely updates on Doofus! Agree with Last that he may be the one to blow away any ashes left lying around from Bacon!

Handy RE the divorce, congratulations are the wrong words completely, but if you are feeling relieved, then I am happy for you that it is another door closed, because plenty more will now open! It is almost a feeling of being at peace with yourself again isn't it?

Waving Enjoy the weekend break with MTG, also glad to read the meal went well! Another thing ticked off the list to feel happy and content about I am sure! :)

Someone asked about *YPT ~(sorry missed who!). It certainly isn't ME stopping things progressing. I spoke about him to a couple of male friends. One labelled me a 'rebound' and the other labelled him a 'fuckboy' (the new term for a player, apparently).

You know what I think it is with him? I genuinely think I intimidate him a little (I don't mean that in a big headed way AT all, just the vibes he gives us), and the fact I do, I think he then plays up to the fact he knows I like him to remain in control of the situation (which shows his immaturity). I am older, successful in my career, own my own house, I am direct and don't play games. There is no pressure on the situation and I am not desperate to pursue him, but he is just finding his feet and I don't think he really knows what he wants in life.

It is actually ridiculous because we have openly discussed IN PERSON the chemistry and that we want to see more of each other to see where it goes, and then he pulls back again. So I am calling quits. I am checking out and putting this Iron back on the pile, which is so disappointing.

Cherry on the other hand... We went for dinner with another mutual friend the other night. Mutual friend read between the lines and quite quickly asked 'what the deal was' between us and when I said 'just friends' he genuinely looked a bit wounded. We are close again now as friends (it's lovely!), nothing else has been said between us re FWB/dating, but his face told a thousand words. I am seeing him this weekend, so I think we need to chat about it.

I have neglected Tinder due to no internet at the house, but I have a ton of matches from the previous week I may drop a message to to rekindle things. However with a manic month at work, a house to do up and a sunny holiday abroad booked, I don't think I have time!

Sorry anyone I have missed!

Dashing in. Sorry is a quick post.

handy in that case huge congrats Hun!!!!!

freaky yes there was snogging. It was very good snogging. He has complicated matters a little however. By saying he wants to date me!!!! . I said no. Hasn't seemed to put him off however.

lastnick yes it was very nice kiss action and caught me by surprise. But laughed alot. He was great at putting me at ease.
He was in touch earlier today and apologiesed for being too forward ( he wasn't, he was just the right amount of forward) and asked how I felt about meeting again. So we have to sort something out.

Well impressed with your multiple irons
Hopefully the spark will be there with one.

freaky doofus sounds lovely, and the slow burn is always better. This is what my mam is constantly telling me.

Ooh like your updatestarskey yay for him getting in touch and asking to see you again!

Waiting to hear from my date of this evening before I get ready as last message I had from him he was stuck in London. Am not even dressed or anything and meant to be meeting in an hour!