Police just left :-(

[PestilentialCat]

The testosterone fest of the last few months culminated in DS & DH coming to blows tonight & the Police being called. DS is sleeping at a friend's down the road. We have filled in the DV paperwork. No-one has been arrested yet. It's been fairly crap for years, but nothing like this. . My big tough 18yo was in tears

I'm so sorry to hear this. It must have been dreadful. Your poor DC.
Who called the police?

I did at DS's request. Entirely appropriate I think. DH was completely out of control & I couldn't pull him off DS.

I hope you are telling your 'D'H to leave the house!

Where is your H?

Sending you unmumsnetty hugs OP
I don't know your situation, but I would hope that this visit from the police would lead to some change or realisation by your DH.

I could tell him till I were blue in the face but he would take no notice. He did agree with the policeman that counselling would be a good idea - expect he'll change his mind as he's always refused in the past.

Why has your son left and not your husband??

Reply was to Glasto

to Truth & cupcake H is here in the house, as am I. All is calm, we have a spare room, the Police have told me to ring if I have any concerns. I'm not overly worried. DS will be back in th morning.e

Get him put out! Your husband not your son.

Do you think that you'd need to give your DH an ultimatum, or would he still not listen?

You should have had him arrested.

Your poor son

I'm sorry to be harsh but by allowing your husband to stay and your son to leave, you have sent everyone involved a very clear message.

Walter - the Police said one of them had to leave. DS threw the first punch as DH was provoking him (burping & blowing the burp into his face on purpose) so assault came from both sides. DH has bitten a horrible mark into DS's arm

Easy for DS to walk to his friend;s DH has no friends & at 18 he is an adult.

Can't believe it's come to this. Been planning my escape for a while but was hoping to hang on till DS finished school.

I agree, your husband should be out of the house, by keeping him in, you're telling your son that you're okay with his behaviour, as you're willing to kick the son out for the night

I think I've misunderstood something here?

Your husband attacked your child to the point your child asked for the police to be called and now your child is the one who has had to leave his home?

That can't be right?

Your husband is a fucking animal.

Are you ok?

Poo DS didn't want his dad to get into trouble

I thought the Police dealt with it very well really.

is your DH father of your DS?

*Poor DS not Poo FFS!

Yes DH is DS's dad

I'm sorry about my previous post, do you think you can escape sooner? Do you have any friends or family that can help? Have you been in contact with agencies that can help?

Exactly what Chipped said.

I understand that you must be very shaken and probably not thinking clearly, but your husband should be the one who spends the night elsewhere, not your son.

How long has this been going on?

He bit him?!

Oh my god op, you need to get that bastard out before your boy comes back.

I'm not unhappy with DS's having to leave - it was the easier option. He is a grownup at 18 & was happy to go to his friend's. He was also violent.

Liz there has been low level DA for a long time, mostly towards me but lately towards DS - DS is much much more like me & the men in my family & not the MiniMe DH expected.