Step inside, it's the Dating Thread 94

[tanyadm]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches.

I feel oddly serene about it. I did / do like him a lot, but it was nice to have a bit of control of the situation again.

Do it eloquent. I felt a bit panicky ditching bear on sunday monday, and I do miss him a bit but already my head feels clearer. it's only thursday. I do not smoke but i imagine it's a bit like that. occasionally i think of chat or news i'd share with him, and I wish we were chatting but then it passes and I feel proud. I know i'm doign the right thing. leavinmg space in my brain.

It's good to speak to someone who understands, my mates just tell me to ditch them. But it's not that simple. I never thought i'd be this person haha.

London has been quite quiet today and yesterday. I've just asked him if he's backing off. We had a long chat sat about being completely platonic, not telling each other how long we'd be, being cooler about things, i wasn't to send him kisses and emojis etc, blah, blah. But we slipped right back into the old habits pretty much straight away. I think this guy is genuinely torn, which is such a bloody cliche and i feel a dick for even saying it!

I had a chat with travelman this morning about what i want atm. He says he's happy with whatever i decide, he doesn't want to be an added complication with how things are (family shit etc), but we've been here before, time and time again. I think a lot of it is, he has been there throughout my break up and it's kind of letting go of that.

good to be in control tanyadm

Now he knows you're not sitting there waiting to be one of his options.
did he respond?

Oh I didn't say the bit about juggling options to him. But just kept it cool. Men!

I suspended my OKC account, not because of him, but because I was getting too many dodgy messages and it was annoying me, but I'm so unsuspending it tonight!

Anyway, yes, he responded further that we should go for a coffee. I'm just ignoring now.

tanya how shit that it turned out like this with Bee.

But, I am so loving the way you are handling it!!!! I'm so loving your work You are AMAZING!!!!

!!

I'm a quick learner, Handy!

Not to mention I deleted his texts, logged back into OKC and deleted our message strand there too. Go. Me.

Now... number? could you delete that?

(realises what a huge hypocrite i am)

Ah, no, but we have agreed to be just pals, so there is no need for number deleting. But all the soul-baring messages and emotional connecting - there's no evidence of that any more, so it's enough of a cleansing!

Tanya I am with handy on this one, yes it is too bad for Bee but I too am impressed at how you are handling this!! You truly deserve today's Wise Bitch Badge haha.

314 &eloquent I think Popcorn is my personal Bear.. It was all too easy and because we clicked so much I thought for a second it was a done deal. And then he came up with that "don't want a relationship BS". Now, after taking a step back, I think he may very well have felt like he said, but all in all what it means is that he does not want one with me. Which is something I am ok with. I still want my answer so I will contact him again and get a confirmation that he is not actually into me. You know just to get closure.

Checking in Quickly. No update from dee?

This is why I cut ties with Bee. I could see that he could easily become my Bear / Soho, and that I wouldn't necessarily have the willpower to not let him. SO....

So I'm chatting with a new prospect now. Also has illustrator tendencies, but works for an art charity as a day job, so right up my street. Not Bee, not that same visceral, oh my goodness he's beautiful, reaction, but at least a new prospect.

tanya you did so well, he wasn't treating you like the prize you are and you knew it. His reaction to your text speaks volumes, your instinct was right. Some time ago, I may have pursued a guy even if he acted like Bee did, or worse. I'm no longer that person, and nor are you by the sounds of things. Well done.

On a separate note......what the actual F@#k to this picture. You know, what I look for in a guy is a pretty ex wife, nothing makes me swipe right quicker than a photo of his ex-bride. I've seen this before on other profiles and it confuses the crap out of me....WHY???

Are you sure it's not his sister or something?

No explanation if it's his sister red but the next photo is him in his groom's outfit. I agree waving, so very, very odd. What are they thinking?

absolute radio silence from Teach today...I sent him a message earlier but he's not replied...he's just busy, right?

Course he is just busy!

Try think of it as texting a friend. Would you be fussed if they took that time to reply? Probably not!

SHIT!!!
No dates for 2 weeks then 2 want to meet me on the same bloody wednesday!!! Why!?

Yep, i've see profiles with the same, very odd

Yes, he's busy (i'd be the same haha, london had messaged by 21.30 like he does and i panicked haha duh)

I'm the same, it's my vulnerability kicking in. I like the Friend comparison, that's helpful.