I think I might be ending my relationship 3 months before my wedding

[Alicialflorrickshair]

Crap crap crap name changed for obvious reasons

DP says that he doesn't feel he can marry me. He has developed feelings for a much younger work colleage over the last few months. We have been together 8 years and are supposed to be getting married in September. No DC.

My feelings haven't changed, I'm still as in love with him as I ever was. He says he still loves me too and still wants to be in our relationship but doesn't feel like he can marry me whilst he has feelings for someone else. I've told him that if we cancel the wedding then it is probably over for us completely as I can't see myself being able to get over that however pathetic that sounds.

Everything booked and paid for, mainly going to be letting down small local suppliers which is even worse.

I'm early 30s and also don't feel like time is on my side in relation to meeting anyone else and starting a family. I really don't a want this to be happening.

We have spent the whole weekend crying and talking about splitting up but it doesn't seem to be what either of us want. I'm convinced these feelings are in part a stress reaction from him, but he has panic attacks at the thought of the invitations being sent out so I doubt he is going to suddenly come round.

What a fucking mess.

Great update!

Just read the whole lot what rollercoaster! so nice to see your updates op

I've been on MN around 11 years - I love a good zombie thread update and even more I feel it's important that women aren't peddled this myth that they have to settle in their late 20s and become trapped in crappy relationships because of some imaginary sell by date of 30.

Although not planning any more children or breakups so this is probably/hopefully the final update

Fantastic updates 😊👏💐
It was all meant to be in the end and down to you for being the strong one.

Love this!!! I missed the dates in start of the thread and thought how is someone getting married in September in a global pandemic 😂. We didn’t see that coming in 2015 obvs. So happy for you OP.

Great updates!

omg that was a plot twist and a half! so happy for you OP

Glad all's going well OP. xxxxx

I love zombie thread updates, happy you canned the wedding and that you now have the life you have.

Such an awesome update!!!!

Wonderful updates!!

Glad you're happy with your 2 LO and DP!

Mumsnet women are very wise. Anything you can think of, one or more of us have experienced it. Plus you can be more honest in your posts since we don't really know each other on here.
Asking a friend or relative about a partner, might get a different response as they're probably too close to the situation.

Really happy for you!

Hope the women reading this know there is no sell by date for love (getting older for babies too) and there are others out there who can make a better partner. Don't have to stick around for lukewarm.

Jeeez. End it now. Seriously. You marry him and he will be developing 'feelings' for other women for the duration of your marriage. Or he will keep this woman for a longterm emotional affair for years to come.
I had a baby at 40 and if my marriage hadn't ended I may well have had more.
You have time to get pregnant with someone else

Woops just seen this was a old post.
Amazing update op, how lovely 😊😊😊

@Alicialflorrickshair aaaaah I flipping love this so, so much!! Thank you for updating, it’s wonderful to hear you got a happy ending!

I didn’t notice the date at first and I was sat here thinking oh my gosh, you have so much time, please don’t worry about not having children yet....and then boom! Well done on making the decision to split and huge congratulations on your relationship and two children. I feel all warm and squidgy inside reading this!!

Wonderful update! Happy for you

What lovely updates OP.
So glad things worked out for you.
It's hard to see what others are saying on the outside, when you are so enmeshed on the inside.
You got there though.
And are happier for it! Yeah!

This is so lovely to read. I have some friends who’ve bought into the “over the hill at 30” myth, and it’s painful to watch them struggle on with unsuitable or even abusive partners. Love has no age limit. Children do, but it’s better to have children alone than with the wrong man.