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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Weird online dating men arrrgh!

379 replies

Zermbo · 02/06/2015 22:09

I am so done with online dating. Been exchanging messages with a guy for a few days, all going well, seems nice enough. We make a date for this weekend then he drops the bombshell that he wants me to record myself masturbating in public on my phone for him to watch before we meet wtaf???
Is there no nice, normal single men out there?

OP posts:
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7
textfan · 03/06/2015 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cabrinha · 03/06/2015 17:17

Am I lorn voice saying that I like a cock shot? Grin

I'm on match and I haven't received any though!

But I have from men I've met in real life, and I think there's a time and a place! Cocks themselves aren't that pretty, but if I sent a filthy text and the guy comes back with a "look what you just did to me" photo, I'm all for it Grin

Twinklestein · 03/06/2015 17:42

My friend (who is about 40) was doing OLD - forget which site - but kept getting lots of messages from men in their early 20s. Apparently, this is a thing - it must be something to do with young men thinking that any woman over 40 is so desperate for sex she loses all capacity for rational thought.

There are huge numbers of young men who are into older women, I'm really surprised by how many. This is not reflected in our culture which tells us that men are only interested in young women.

I think it makes young men to feel like a real man to be dating a grown up woman. And also I think it's a continuation of mums/teachers etc they had early crushes on...

Lovingfreedom · 03/06/2015 17:45

Could it be that women over 40 are attractive? It's not necessarily desperation.

LotusLight · 03/06/2015 18:02

Indeed and better at sex. Women (and men) over 40 can be attractive. Most of sex is in the head anyway.

handfulofcottonbuds · 03/06/2015 18:14

I agree, I know there are a lot of men in their 20s who prefer women in their 30s/40s.

Not that I have taken them up on the offer but not once have I had one think I'm desperate for sex or that I would be grateful. Some men in their 20s are genuinely nice and prefer maturity.

CheersMedea · 03/06/2015 18:15

Could it be that women over 40 are attractive? It's not necessarily desperation.

That wasn't the point.

The emails she was getting weren't "let me take you out on a date/interested in a relationship" they were all sexually focussed - ie. in high volume of young guys looking for no strings attached sex and apparently targeting older women.

CheersMedea · 03/06/2015 18:23

google ByeFelipe. Unfortunately it's an extremely common reaction.

Hazlenutt OMG!!! My eyes. I have never seen such stuff. What is wrong with some men?

Lovingfreedom · 03/06/2015 18:27

So what? Some people are looking for sex, some are looking for relationships, some like younger, some older. Does it matter? ..if someone's not matching your requirements or tastes move on. No need to take it personally or make sexist assumptions about it.

Twinklestein · 03/06/2015 18:29

There are a lot of young men looking for sex, some target older women because they fancy them... this is not rocket science.

Kirstenjulia29 · 03/06/2015 19:41

I met my DP on POF but before him I had to date some utter weirdos that masqueraded themselves as normal men! I had one guy that asked me to pick a leather outfit from a book (yes book) of options that he bought along to our FIRST date! Then there were strings of military guys who tried to 'persuade' me that having casual sex with them whilst on leave was going to fulfil me! I may be blonde but I'm not that bloody stupid! I don't mind. Casual sex laid out as casual sex, but I do mind it hiding behind dates and lies! I got very lucky with my DP though, he's ace!

BitterChocolate · 03/06/2015 19:58

I don't know about online dating, but in rl I have found younger men (in their 30s) to be flirtier as I have got older (I'm 48). I think it might be to do with some women of their own age being very eager to settle down very quickly, so it's harder for men to have a light flirtation without it being taken for something more serious. My DB, who is single and now in his 40s, found that in his 30s women his age were very keen to interpret casual conversation as flirting, and mild flirting as intention to start a relationship.

XinaW · 03/06/2015 19:58

I have been internet dating on and off for probably 5 years. I have decided that I am the world least datable woman as I rarely get anyone contacting me. I think this might be a good thing really looking at some of the posts in here.

Gingermum · 03/06/2015 20:46

My crappest online date was with a Doctor of medicine. Dinner was ok but outside the restaurant he suddenly said: 'I need a slash!' And did a massive wee on the outside wall of the restaurant. In public! I should have bolted but like a fool I got into a cab with him where he informed me that he wanted to 'truffle my hole.' The final straw was seeing his very well thumbed copy of the Marquis de Sade's Forty Days of Sodom in his stinky flat. (In my defence I was very young and didn't realise that I had the right to say no when a man asked me out). Luckily I have a great man and a lovely confident daughter who will not be making the same mistakes. (I hope)

handfulofcottonbuds · 03/06/2015 20:50

truffle my hole Shock

What the hell does that involve??

HouseOfGingerbread · 03/06/2015 21:10

I'm probably making wild sweeping stereotypical generalisations here, but I'm willing to bet the hole truffler was ex public school.

textfan · 03/06/2015 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills · 03/06/2015 21:52

Right now I have one guy who keeps sending me riddle-type questions or jokes.

I didn't reply to the first three "How did the hipster burn his mouth?" so why do you think I will reply to the fourth?

SorchaN · 03/06/2015 21:56

Not terribly weird, but I got a message from one man saying he liked my height (I'm tall). Nothing about any of the stuff I'd put in my profile about my interests or anything - just my height. There was no photo on his profile, but he did describe himself as 'God's gift to women'. I found this unaccountably annoying, and I send a reply saying I thought it was rather odd to focus on my height. I got a torrent of abuse from him in return. Nice.

chelseabuns2013 · 03/06/2015 22:03

I think I'm going to slip "truffle my hole" into a conversation at work tomorrow! Maybe in relation to stuffing my face with biscuits.GrinCake

Cat1984 · 03/06/2015 22:34

Not online dating but I was once seeing an ex squadie who used to roar during sex just as he was ejaculating, I used to shove a pillow over his face, it didn't last long Blush

LadyBlaBlah · 03/06/2015 22:38

I got off quite lightly when OD, but there was one specimen who on the first date actually said "My last girlfriend dumped me because I expect sex 8 times a day - would you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, I think I most certainly have a problem with your expectation"

LadyBaelish · 04/06/2015 00:26

Not me, but my sister had a guy who she'd never spoken to before message her at 1am asking when she could be at London Bridge station, get there ASAP. Bit creepy! She ignored and blocked!

BringMeTea · 04/06/2015 00:59

I am finding it interesting that the weirdest thing a woman has done is 'shake hands'. Grin.

MadeMan · 04/06/2015 01:02

"but there was one specimen who on the first date actually said "My last girlfriend dumped me because I expect sex 8 times a day"

Did this specimen have a job/eat food/have a bath/watch Pointless on telly? Even if you get a quick session in when you wake up before work, that still means you'll be shoe horning sex pretty much into every hour before bedtime!