HOBBIT’S BAR – still finding it hard to move on…part 9

[bobs123]

Welcome to Hobbit’s Bar, owned by Hobbit, open to all and run by anyone who wants the job!

This is the place to come if your marriage/relationship has come to an end and you are struggling to come to terms with this. It is a place to vent, ask for advice, relate to others in the same situation, take a break and have a laugh, whatever.

There are people in this bar at all stages of separation – just separated, negotiating, mediation, court, divorced - and all reasons for this, whether it is abuse, general breakdown, financial worries, OW/OM involved, or coming to terms with a new life.

It is a place to come to for support. You are never obliged to give support to others or reply to any posts. It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles if you are having a tough time. No apology necessary. No one will have a go at you for what you are feeling and share on here. Divorce is a rollercoaster, we are all at different stages, so feel free to jump right in.

Some glossary terms:

1. Jess is our mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she might do requests if there are enough sausages in it for her.
2. Izzitinis are a revolting cocktail created by Izzie that only she drinks!
3. No 6’s are what we are/were married to, after Hobbit’s Twunts list. Some of us also have “pet” nicknames for our exes
4. KOKO – keep on keeping on (used a lot on here along with SHIT THIS IS HARD)
5. Ignore any exclamation marks posted by Izzie or Roz that might make their comments sounds a bit…dodgy. Something to do with their iPads having a mind of their own!
6. We all listen to WWK aka WellWhoKnew aka Mother who keeps us under control.

Our theme tune is

My name is bobs, 55, married 22 years, 2 DDs 21 & 18 who have NC with their Dad. Nisi granted last April on the basis of 2 year separation while living in the same house. Tried solicitors for over a year to sort out the financials, then mediation for 5 months which didn’t work as due to his PA nature he is all but supine and unable to contribute. Sold our family home over a year ago and have been living in rental as he had the house proceeds frozen. He has now been given a choice of accepting my proposal or going to arbitration or court.

Link to last thread, which has links to all the previous threads here

Thank you all my lovely girls, I was doubting my sanity there for a moment.
Obviously I replied to his text saying;
A. Fuck off...

B. Fuck off some more .....

He said "you can insult me all you like, it won't change anything"
No, but it'll make me feel a lot better
No more texts from hobbsy I've blocked him now, I think it's for the best....

bobs very frustrated on your behalf. And iwas, what can I say

hobbit he sounds more and more like the twat I married. Aargh

Sour faced, cold unfeeling bastard

hobbit that is just plain awful - what a pair of absolute turds! very sorry to read that...

braving loved the switch on of the dishwasher - did you get someone famous to do it? :-)

I spoke to DS2 about this alleged coming over tonight. Long story but he's clearly badmouthing me to them, saying that he can't speak freely here as I would be listening, and that it would create an argument if he shut the door on me and then they would have to live with the consequences. Wtf! DS2 told him he was just making excuses, and that he would rather see his dad even if it did create a bad atmosphere. The twunt's reply was that he had been living with bad atmospheres for decades. What a fucking piece of shite and what a bitter little man he is. The only reason I'm absolutely not going to reply is that I will not in any circumstances give him any satisfaction by giving him an argument, which is clearly what he wants. He really is disgusting.

izzie just another cunt that blames everyone else - poor them Boo Fucking Hoo!

He's getting to be very two faced as well. Must be the influence of the vile nutter he's mountain climbing

Thank you wise I shall keep reading those words to stop myself spontaneously combusting .

I think we get so caught up in our own thoughts and processes in trying to deal with all of this and listening to all the shite that comes out of their mouths that we think we are going mad and maybe - even for a nano second - we think - was it like that? Was I a total bitch? Then you speak to someone else - like a sol - and her face and comments when you say " well I didn't praise him enough when we were married" brings you to reality - yes it is pathetic - are these men children or adults?

izzie is he a man or a mouse? How many excuses do they need?? Can you imagine us saying that as mothers?? We couldn't bear a 'bad atmosphere' and so we stayed away from our children for months. For goodness sake. He should be walking bloody bare foot for miles to see them. Bad atmosphere indeed.

wise by name and wise by nature.

For us!!!

Go wise Sol a success then. I agree, it is reassuring and liberating when you begin to believe the crazy one's not you.

1 he obviously has chosen to forget that over recent years any bad atmospheres have been created by his affairs. All my fault, I should have just smiled sweetly.....

Fuck You

Found a new Fuck Off song. A bit of rap, this time. Have switched off my phone. Now going to have a drink.

Wise one My beautiful daughter pushed the button :)

izzie You mean you didn't just smile sweetly? What kind of a wife are you?? Great song. It sent HRT off to bed

Good for you Hobbit x

Izzie what a fool he is. Does he really think badmouthing you is going to improve his relationship with his sons Nothing's ever their bloody fault is it!!!!!!!

wise love it!

Well that song is rather a catchy one. I've been slugging back the lager listening bopping to it and it's cheering me up. Lager is my safe happy drink, wine is not wise as it heightens my mood, whatever that may be. Anyway, listening to that song I visualised going into a pub in the arse end of nowhere and chucking the drink at a certain Lycra twunt.

wise Boo Fucking Hoo

Izzie good song choice tonight. I further add a text to send your twunt if you really feel the need!:

And this one's for Hobbit who we know is bonkers anyway and anyone else doubting their sanity

Can I come too Izzie ???????

Bobs We know where no. 6 is - in the arse end of nowhere! Hope your Solicitor brings you some positive news, very frustrating for you.

Braving I hope your daughter had a ribbon to cut and made a speech! when you've drunk it you can put it in the dishwasher x

You're all wonderful. I'm drunk I tjink. Nighty night xx

Of course bobs, and don't forget to bring a camera

Found some wise words re fathers. Coz I think we have all forgotten what they are

wise you are the queen of the pithy postcard