Perspective required on Facebook

[Cockmomo]

This sounds pathetic writing this down as it is about Facebook. My boyfriend will not accept my friend request on Facebook. He says he only uses it for work networking and doesn't really use it, although I know he's recently updated his photo. He says there is no reason for me to be friends with him on there as he doesn't put his personal/family stuff on there. We had a bit of an argument over it a few weeks back and he got quite defensive over it and said that I should just accept it and trust him. Am I being unreasonable to question his reason for not accepting me?

yup.

very odd

Can you see any of his FB?
I don't know anyone who uses FB purely for work networking etc., isn't that what Linked In is for?

I have to say I'd be a bit dubious, sorry.

LTB, not a good start and it won't get any better.

Is it a new relationship?

I would, as its odd! It's not like you are asking him to plaster your relationship all over it. Is it set to private? if it is I would want to know why...

Just take his phone when he's not around and accept the request yourself. He'll probably never notice.

No I can't see any of his Facebook. We've been together a year now.

Yeah, I don't know anyone who uses Facebook for work purposes only. In fact, quite the opposite. Even then if he has work people and he doesn't want his personal life displayed to them, there are settings he can make to separate the two worlds.

How long have you been dating though?

I just find it odd that you wouldn't want your girlfriend as a friend!

A year

He's only recently told his wife about me.

It has odd all over it, will he log in and let you see what's on his account to reassure you? If not I would be seriously thinking he is hiding something! (like a wife)

I'd find it odd. Do you have any mutual friends on there?

Is he married? Or was that sarcasm? If he's married it makes way more sense...

No, I've never met any of his friends. He works away at the weekends which is genuine! He doesn't see his friends as they were mutual friends of his wife.

erm his wife? Is that not a bigger problem than facebook?

Hang on...his wife?

Told his wife about you?!?!?!

He'd be better off using LinkedIn for work. Most people don't use FB for work at all.

Is his wife ex? I would suspect (whether or not she is) that he does use FB for family stuff, and isn't prepared to have you part of that. It would make me question why. Seeing his profile (even if not a friend, over his shoulder or whatever) would make me happier about it.

My worry is that there is historical stuff that he doesn't want me to see

hahahaha

Has he told you he has split up from his wife...and does he tell his wife he works away during the week...?!

Ah. So either he has his privacy settings set really really high, or he has in fact blocked you so that you can't see anything about what he's putting on there.

Is he still, um, actively married, or has he left his wife?

They are separated, I am separated from my husband but have started divorce proceedings.

You know what, I think you're actually best off to let this one go. There's too much secrecy and underhandedness - sack him off and go and find a decent bloke with nothing to hide. :)