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Original poster

Perspective required on Facebook

129 replies

Cockmomo · 15/09/2014 15:51

This sounds pathetic writing this down as it is about Facebook. My boyfriend will not accept my friend request on Facebook. He says he only uses it for work networking and doesn't really use it, although I know he's recently updated his photo. He says there is no reason for me to be friends with him on there as he doesn't put his personal/family stuff on there. We had a bit of an argument over it a few weeks back and he got quite defensive over it and said that I should just accept it and trust him. Am I being unreasonable to question his reason for not accepting me?

OP posts:
Curiouslygrumpycola · 15/09/2014 17:53

.

Wrapdress · 15/09/2014 18:13

Facebook issue aside - what about ending things with him until he's actually filed for divorce?

BeforeAndAfter · 15/09/2014 19:16

When he whines about your relationship being strong enough for you not to need to see his FB you could counter that by saying that you thought that your relationship was strong enough for him to welcome you to his FB world and reassure you. As someone once wrote on the dating thread - love is an action not a word.

handfulofcottonbuds · 15/09/2014 19:19

What happened to your post curiouslygrumpycola? It's just a dot

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 15/09/2014 19:30

Those who aren't friends with their husbands on FB, I really don't get it.

Were you not friends before you got together? Or did you cease to be friends when you married?

airforsharon · 15/09/2014 19:37

Enjoying well i'm not because dh hasn't got an account. But he knows I have, and if he wanted to see my page, or did sign up and send me a friend request, I'd have no problem with that.

VivaLeBeaver · 15/09/2014 19:42

Oh god. I could write your post.

My husband of 12 years won't accept my friend request. He says he only uses it for a specific social/sports club page. To get notices, etc.

I've fucking blocked him now so he can't see my stuff!

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 15/09/2014 19:47

Air... you have missed my point.

Nor is my dh on FB as couldn't be bothered with it all. He can have a nose on my account whenever he wishes.

My point was where both husband and wife are on FB and yet they're not friends. I have to say, I find that odd!

SolidGoldBrass · 15/09/2014 20:30

Initially my son's father and I were not 'friends' on Facebook. This was due to him keeping his FB pages 'clean' ie professional contacts and innocous family stuff while mine tends more towardds swearing, kink activism and photos of people's bottoms.
After wa while when more family members starting getting FB accounts, I set up a second 'family-friendly' ccount and that one is now friends with his.

MrsDeVere · 15/09/2014 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Travelledtheworld · 15/09/2014 20:35

I know someone who only uses Facebook for business purposes.
It is a lot cheaper than Linked In. Grin
He is a very dull person........

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 15/09/2014 20:43

Mrs I meant in the true sense of the word 'friend'.

Not that being a friend in FB necessarily means being a friend in the true sense of the word! But if you are friends in real life and both on FB, the chances are you will be friends on FB as well. Why not your husband too?

nevergoogle · 15/09/2014 20:47

Same, Facebook didn't exist when we met, and I only joined it a couple of years after we got married. We were friends for 7 years before we got together. Facebook is not a measure of friendship! I don't need to keep in touch with my DH, he's there on the other side of the living room!

I like facebook though, but he thinks it's a load of shit.

alphabook · 15/09/2014 21:28

Going back to the OP...what sort of job involves working every weekend and every day in term time? You say he's in the music industry - my BIL is a successful professional musician and even he doesn't work every single weekend. I can't think of a single job that would consistently take up those hours.

Sorry OP, he is still with his wife.

Flossiex2 · 15/09/2014 21:38

Is he looking after his children on weekends and in the holidays? Or with the family/wife and not working at all? It sounds like an odd set-up to me and I would be suspicious.

MrsDeVere · 15/09/2014 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nevergoogle · 15/09/2014 23:19

ah but does he know which friends character you are?
however will he help you with your virtual farm?

Thumbwitch · 16/09/2014 00:03

my DH isn't on FB, but he is on linked-in, and we are connected on that. I would find it odd if he joined FB and refused to be FB friends tbh.

EBearhug · 16/09/2014 00:53

I know someone who only uses Facebook for business purposes.
It is a lot cheaper than Linked In

They're both free? I mean, you can pay for LI premium, but you don't have to.

however · 16/09/2014 04:07

I don't have my husband on FB. If I was dating, I wouldn't have a boyfriend on it, either.

SoldeInvierno · 16/09/2014 05:34

Sorry cockmomo, but there is no easy way to put this. You are being taken for a ride. He is clearly still married and spending school holidays and other times with his family. His wife probably knows nothing about your existance

musicalendorphins2 · 16/09/2014 05:47

Is it not unusual that his parents had a meal with you, while their son is still married?

I would find his secretiveness suspect. You know he is capable of deceit your secret relationship with him is proof of that, and I think he is hiding something from you.

GreatAuntDinah · 16/09/2014 06:56

DH is in the music industry and uses FB rather than LinkedIn for professional stuff. I agree this guy doesn't sound legit though.

AppleAndMelon · 16/09/2014 10:20

I think he's either still married, under the thumb of his ex-wife, or has something else to hide. Why not just ask him to show you his facebook instead if he has nothing to hide?

AppleAndMelon · 16/09/2014 10:21

Actually, you know what, I wouldn't bother. You obviously don't trust him, doesn't sound like he is being fair - bin.