Perspective required on Facebook

[Cockmomo]

This sounds pathetic writing this down as it is about Facebook. My boyfriend will not accept my friend request on Facebook. He says he only uses it for work networking and doesn't really use it, although I know he's recently updated his photo. He says there is no reason for me to be friends with him on there as he doesn't put his personal/family stuff on there. We had a bit of an argument over it a few weeks back and he got quite defensive over it and said that I should just accept it and trust him. Am I being unreasonable to question his reason for not accepting me?

But can your DH see any of your FB profile, Nevergoogle?

Something just doesn't seem right here.

Could you give a bit more detail about hid job? It seems to have odd hours

How often do you see him during the week term-time?

Ummmm.

He's obviously still married
How is this not obvious to you. Sorry don't mean to be harsh but really??

I suspect you and the wife are being taken for a very big ride while he has his cake and eats it...

Cockmomo, this situation does NOT sound great for the old self esteem. Does it make you happy??

I don't think his wife knows they are separated.

I don't use FB so not going to comment on that, but after a year I'd expect to have met frinds/family.

It sounds like you're a well kept secret.

i have no idea. i think my profile is set so that only my friends can see it. he doesn't use facebook much and only has a handful of friends on there so my posts would fill his feed if he went on there.

i usually text him any funny stuff that happens during the day anyway, and i post a lot of photos which i show him on the camera.

To the best of my knowledge she knows, I've never met her. Yes he is still married but separated and living at his parents. Term time he is round every night.

I'm just trying to see if the OP will come to the same conclusion if she is 'forced' to look at the facts properly. Somehow this set-up is not ringing alarm bells, I'm hoping if she starts thinking properly about it a 'ding ding ding' will start sounding.

Ah big x post...

I think you are the OW.

Every night?

Do you get to see him during the days at all seeing as he is not working?

Sometimes OP the most obvious answer is the most obvious answer. Yes there is something he wants to hide. MOst likely he is still with his wife. Or he has another, full-time girlfriend somewhere

Yes my self esteem is low but it always has been. My previous relationship was full of lies so I am cautious but I'm doubting my own judgement now.

He won't friend you because his wife will see. I bet you haven't seen his parents for a while, have you? My hunch is he's told them he'd dumped you and he's now reconciled with his wife.

I'm usually at work during the day so I don't tend to see him. Yes as far as I'm aware he still lives there. He still has a house with his wife which he says he will keep on as long she wants to stay in it because of his son.

Do you know the address of the house where his wife and child lives?

Yeah I've got a good idea where it is.

I was going to say, are you the sort of person who fills up other people's timelines with generic Facebook shit and game requests? That would be a good reason for avoiding adding a person as a friend - not wanting to wade through 100s of cute animals and illiterate motivational drivel every day if the rest of one's friends are business-related or a bit more sophisticated.

But having read the whole thread, I think it's a case of you not being the only woman in his life, as well.

No. Not a good idea. Do you know the actual address. Could you go to the actual house?

When I challenged him on the Facebook issue before he said that he thought out relationship was stronger than this and that by giving in and showing me would only feed my anxiety