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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i officially an idiot?

283 replies

lou33 · 05/09/2006 12:51

As some of you are aware, i split with exh in nov. I havent wanted any serious relationships, but am also not prepared to live like a nun, so i have had hook ups with people, where i made it clear that it was on my terms and just fun. There have been times when i felt the hook up was getting too attached so i have ended it there and then.

As some of you are also aware i have been seeing someone for the last month, and once again it started out with me saying it was nothing but fun, which it has been. However, last night i ended it with him, because i found myself starting to like him too much. I told him that as it was now starting to feel different to me, it wasnt fair on me or him to carry on seeing each other.

He says we should carry on having fun til he leaves next year to travel when he finishes the army, but i said the balance of the relationship is now not equal in my eyes.

We do have fun, we do get on, it's cheered me up enormously through a v difficult period of time, i like having him about at weekends. But i ended it. A male friend of mine last night said if i was a bloke he would call me a d*ckhead with the way i was behaving, that i was cutting my nose off to spite my face.

Soldier wants to still see me, but we wont this weekend, tho he has asked if he can come up overnight next weds to make up for it.

Am i being a twat or am i right to end it if my feelings have changed and i dont think his have?

Ugh at this!

OP posts:
sunchowder · 14/09/2006 02:17

Just wanted to chime in---Lou I would deffo shag the soldier at least one last time, especially as it was sooooo good. Comedy man might be wonderful, but I think it will be more cerebral if you know what I mean.....miss you.

fairyfly · 14/09/2006 02:29

Sunny, email me, i miss you!"

lou33 · 14/09/2006 09:46

i went to bed sorry

soldier would def be up for one more time, comedy man seems v sweet

i think i am meeting this bloke i know tonight as well, but he is 23
he is leaving on monday to sail round the world for 6m or so, and wanted to take me out and say goodbye

also i woke up this morning to an email from a friend of 20 (!) saying he was gutted i hooked up with the soldier and could he please take me out instead!

20 is seriously young, i feel a bit awkward, lol

there must be something in the water atm

OP posts:
lou33 · 14/09/2006 10:07

i emailed the 20 yr old to say i was going on a date on saturday, so i am making no plans atm, and he got the hump!

reason number 2 not to go there, they are emotionally immature at that age

OP posts:
theUrbanDryad · 14/09/2006 12:15

20!! lou you fox......

when i said crash i meant, as in, gate crashing...

expatinscotland · 14/09/2006 12:15

I'd give the 20-year-old a miss b/c he's your friend's son.

But I'd do both soldier boy AND comedy boy.

expatinscotland · 14/09/2006 12:16

You only live once.

lou33 · 14/09/2006 14:40

no he isnt my friend's son, this is someone else lol

OP posts:
lou33 · 14/09/2006 14:40

what about the 23 yr old tho?

lol this is funny

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/09/2006 14:42

I'd do them both.

Hey, they're consenting adults. So are you.

I mean, believe me, a man your age wouldn't hesitate.

lou33 · 14/09/2006 17:00

i cancelled tonight, i am too tired, will save myself for saturday

OP posts:
lou33 · 15/09/2006 20:08

so what are the chances of him cancelling at the last minute then, do we think?

OP posts:
sunchowder · 15/09/2006 20:16

Nahhhh......don't put a negative thought out there Lou!!! Tomorrow will be a great evening out

sunchowder · 15/09/2006 20:16

Walking away from PC Lou, so please forgive it I don't get back for a bit.

lou33 · 16/09/2006 13:11

leaving in an hour!

OP posts:
Molesworth · 16/09/2006 13:13

good luck!

lou33 · 16/09/2006 15:53

meeting him at 5pm instead now, he got caught up with work

OP posts:
lou33 · 16/09/2006 20:06

awwww he is nice,but i think i scare him lol

OP posts:
lou33 · 17/09/2006 16:42

well he was really nice, but i think we would probably be better as mates tbh

we had a good time tho

OP posts:
sunchowder · 17/09/2006 16:47

Too cerebral?

lou33 · 17/09/2006 16:59

no

too quiet, he was a nice guy tho, we will keep in touch

i just didnt feel much of a spark

OP posts:
lou33 · 18/09/2006 22:31

ive agreed to let the soldier come see me on saturday

i'll wait to be told off now

OP posts:
nutcracker · 18/09/2006 22:32

I think you should see him.

lou33 · 18/09/2006 22:42

spacedonkey is gonna shout at me!

OP posts:
nutcracker · 18/09/2006 22:44

LOL

Ok, if he cancelled now then how dissapointed would you be ??