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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i officially an idiot?

283 replies

lou33 · 05/09/2006 12:51

As some of you are aware, i split with exh in nov. I havent wanted any serious relationships, but am also not prepared to live like a nun, so i have had hook ups with people, where i made it clear that it was on my terms and just fun. There have been times when i felt the hook up was getting too attached so i have ended it there and then.

As some of you are also aware i have been seeing someone for the last month, and once again it started out with me saying it was nothing but fun, which it has been. However, last night i ended it with him, because i found myself starting to like him too much. I told him that as it was now starting to feel different to me, it wasnt fair on me or him to carry on seeing each other.

He says we should carry on having fun til he leaves next year to travel when he finishes the army, but i said the balance of the relationship is now not equal in my eyes.

We do have fun, we do get on, it's cheered me up enormously through a v difficult period of time, i like having him about at weekends. But i ended it. A male friend of mine last night said if i was a bloke he would call me a d*ckhead with the way i was behaving, that i was cutting my nose off to spite my face.

Soldier wants to still see me, but we wont this weekend, tho he has asked if he can come up overnight next weds to make up for it.

Am i being a twat or am i right to end it if my feelings have changed and i dont think his have?

Ugh at this!

OP posts:
lou33 · 02/10/2006 08:58

soldier said he might be able to pop in and see me this morning as he is going to be not too far away, depending on how long his meeting takes

OP posts:
lou33 · 03/10/2006 11:47

i went on a date last night , and he was nice but i dont think i will persue it, he said he was nervous of me!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/10/2006 11:56

there are plenty of men out there, lou, who aren't.

give him a miss.

onwards and upwards!

Bugsy2 · 03/10/2006 12:00

Lou, how do you meet all these men??????? How is it you are meeting PR guys from London & you live in a village????? What is your secret?

lou33 · 03/10/2006 13:26

friends of friends mainly lol

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 03/10/2006 13:50

Jammy you. None of my friends know any single men! I've decided that I'm going to have to give it a few years & wait for more of the "second time arounders" to become available if I want anythign more meaningful than a shag!!!!

lou33 · 03/10/2006 14:38

see most of my friends are single, so it works for me lol

also i do get to go out on fridays

OP posts:
lou33 · 05/10/2006 09:40

the stand up comedian asked me out again last night, i sort of deflected the question and didnt answer him

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Bugsy2 · 05/10/2006 10:14

what's wrong with the stand up comedian - just out of interest?
I get to go out loads, but I don't know hardly any single people. Also I am very old (37)! I think perhaps you are young & spring chickenish?

lou33 · 05/10/2006 11:17

i'm 40 in jan bugsy!

comedian was a really nice guy, but no spark for me, other than he would be a good mate, i thought he felt the same, til last night

OP posts:
lou33 · 16/10/2006 00:37

i think my soldier hinted he had fallen for me tonight!

OP posts:
lou33 · 16/10/2006 09:51

so now i have to decide what im gonna do!

OP posts:
MellowMonsta · 16/10/2006 09:54

do tell?

lou33 · 16/10/2006 10:00

lol well he came up friday and stayed til sunday afternoon

we went out on friday night and he got a little bit too drunk, and we left teh pub and went to a friends house, and he kept saying to me" tell me you love me go on tell me you love me", and i just laughed and told him to shut up, but all weekend i ahve been joking about it to him, and him joking to me about this guy in the pub who was trying to chat me up and started singing to me

so he leaves mine about 4pm yesterday and i am speaking to him on the phone a couple of hours later and something happened which meant i was winding him up about what he said on fri again (ie i was saying tell me you love me etc imitating him), and i think he said "after today you should know that", but the line wasnt v good, and i did ask him to repeat it but i still couldnt hear him, and when i asked him to say it again he got all silly and wouldnt

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Bugsy2 · 16/10/2006 10:01

oh, so excited for you Lou. How flattering!!! His piccy was scrumdumptious. What do you think? Gut response, rational response?

lou33 · 16/10/2006 10:05

i'd definitely give it a go, tho i know it will be done by april, take the fun while it lasts, you know?

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 16/10/2006 10:07

where's he off to in April? (I know you said, but can't remember - sorry)

MellowMonsta · 16/10/2006 10:07

Is he still going away then? He sounds lovely

lou33 · 16/10/2006 10:09

yes he still is going and there is no way i would want him not to

he is going to thailand initially, and training to be a diving instructor, then after staying htere for a bit he will be heading towards aus

OP posts:
MellowMonsta · 16/10/2006 10:16

Is he going for a long time?

You can enjoy things just now though. Lots can happen in six months.

Bugsy2 · 16/10/2006 10:22

What is it with you, men & Thailand?!
Sounds like you should enjoy him for the next 6 months then. Do you think you would fall in love with him though?

lou33 · 16/10/2006 10:23

thailand seem to be the elephant graveyard of men for me lol

yes i am enjoying it

i just remembered he also told me he has told all his mates about me

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sarahinphuket · 18/10/2006 15:14

lou
send him to phuket ;o)

hope you are well i can't find your email address. think you should come to thailand with him too.....

Molesworth · 18/10/2006 15:15

Sarah, how did you get on with your masters assignment in the end, the one that got corrupted?

sarahinphuket · 18/10/2006 15:20

hi Molesworth
I managed to retrieve most of it with docrepair and I sent it in although it was really late my lecturer was really understanding. No idea of my mark yet, but the one before that I was still writing half an hour before the deadline and I thought was pants I got 74%

Now got 2 more to do by 10th Nov