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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i officially an idiot?

283 replies

lou33 · 05/09/2006 12:51

As some of you are aware, i split with exh in nov. I havent wanted any serious relationships, but am also not prepared to live like a nun, so i have had hook ups with people, where i made it clear that it was on my terms and just fun. There have been times when i felt the hook up was getting too attached so i have ended it there and then.

As some of you are also aware i have been seeing someone for the last month, and once again it started out with me saying it was nothing but fun, which it has been. However, last night i ended it with him, because i found myself starting to like him too much. I told him that as it was now starting to feel different to me, it wasnt fair on me or him to carry on seeing each other.

He says we should carry on having fun til he leaves next year to travel when he finishes the army, but i said the balance of the relationship is now not equal in my eyes.

We do have fun, we do get on, it's cheered me up enormously through a v difficult period of time, i like having him about at weekends. But i ended it. A male friend of mine last night said if i was a bloke he would call me a d*ckhead with the way i was behaving, that i was cutting my nose off to spite my face.

Soldier wants to still see me, but we wont this weekend, tho he has asked if he can come up overnight next weds to make up for it.

Am i being a twat or am i right to end it if my feelings have changed and i dont think his have?

Ugh at this!

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:08

lol i bought it ages ago for a do that was cancelled and havent found a good enough reason to wear it

OP posts:
Molesworth · 12/09/2006 22:09

wear that then

with a box jacket ...

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:10

LOLOLOLOL!

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:10

you said dress down!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Dior · 12/09/2006 22:10

Message withdrawn

Quadrophenia · 12/09/2006 22:12

molesworth

good god lou if i owned that dress you would have trouble getting me to wear anything other than on a date, actually I'd probably wear it to school and tesco's and to mow the lawn, and any situation you care to think of, i'd be there in that dress!

Molesworth · 12/09/2006 22:12

Hi Dior Sorry to hear you've been feeling crappy, I've been feeling crappy too {{{ Dior }}}

expatinscotland · 12/09/2006 22:13

Is the lunch date in a hotel?

Wear something easy to get out of.

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:13

hey dior, how weird is this?

the bloke i am seeing on sat, turns out he grew up in harwich and colchester!

OP posts:
Molesworth · 12/09/2006 22:13

It's a great dress, I know I said dress down, but you obviously want to wear it, so wear it, it's not like it's something sparkly

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:14

lol at you lot!

i have promised myself not to shag him on saturday

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:15

its not that i wanna wear it to meet him, i just want to find a reason to wear it before it gets too cold

i've had the damn thing since the end of july

OP posts:
Quadrophenia · 12/09/2006 22:15

sunday morning then??

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:16

haha @ sparkly!

the thought of me in sparkles, roflmfao

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:16

i am putting him on a train on sat night

OP posts:
Quadrophenia · 12/09/2006 22:16

just bloody wear it, if he turns out to be a no goer then at least you may get some other numbers!

Molesworth · 12/09/2006 22:17

good point quadders

Quadrophenia · 12/09/2006 22:18

molesworth you make me sound like a bike

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:18

excellent idea!

ok if the weather is good i will, and i have shoes that will go well too

hahah he might turn out to be a right gimp looking like he was dressed by his mum

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/09/2006 22:19

Make sure to take along a handbag large enough for condoms and those OralB throwaway teeth cleaner thingies .

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:20

I WILL NOT SHAG HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/09/2006 22:21

Why on Earth not?

Quadrophenia · 12/09/2006 22:21

the weather forecast is good for the weekend, I am THE weather lady!! the dress it is, and don't forget your little black book!

lou33 · 12/09/2006 22:23

i'm trying to turn over a new leaf!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/09/2006 22:24

Whatever for? Enjoy it whilst it lasts. Soon enough, you'll find someone long-term and you'll have your fond memories to see you through the lulls.

Says the voice of experience . . .